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Thread: in a WWI psychiatric ward

  1. #1
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    in a WWI psychiatric ward

    Don’t blame me, this is from Marc

    An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital during WW1. At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who have no sign of obvious injury. He goes to examine the first man that he sees, and the man proclaims:

    "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great Chieftan of the pudding race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place. Painch, tripe or thairm: Weel are ye worthy of a grace as lang's my arm."

    The English doctor, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient who launches into: "Some hae meat and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."

    "Well" mutters the doctor to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward to last." "Och nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him. "This is the serious burns unit."

    (robbie burns for those that don't get it)

  2. #2
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    I got it.
    8/10 points.
    ACC - It's where the Enron accountants all went.

  3. #3
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    yeah I got it. Nice one.
    And I to my motorcycle parked like the soul of the junkyard. Restored, a bicycle fleshed with power, and tore off. Up Highway 106 continually drunk on the wind in my mouth. Wringing the handlebar for speed, wild to be wreckage forever.

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  4. #4
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    Is that 'Robbie Burns' the liquor store, or Robert Burns, the poet/haggis worshipper??

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pwalo
    Is that 'Robbie Burns' the liquor store, or Robert Burns, the poet/haggis worshipper??
    The poet. He didn't worship haggis (And I don't blame him), if you've read his ode to a haggis he actually slags it off quite a bit.

  6. #6
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    Hoots!

    Mon.

    And nary a reference to the wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie - they can't've been that serious about Burns...

    With apologies to RB: "O wad some pow'r the Giftie gie us, to see some others before they see us."
    Motorbike Camping for the win!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehollowmen
    The poet. He didn't worship haggis (And I don't blame him), if you've read his ode to a haggis he actually slags it off quite a bit.
    Over hypes it, but certainly no slagging involved:

    Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
    Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
    Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
    Painch, tripe, or thairm:
    Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
    As lang's my arm.

    The groaning trencher there ye fill,
    Your hurdies like a distant hill,
    Your pin was help to mend a mill
    In time o'need,
    While thro' your pores the dews distil
    Like amber bead.

    His knife see rustic Labour dight,
    An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
    Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
    Like ony ditch;
    And then, O what a glorious sight,
    Warm-reekin', rich!

    Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
    Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
    Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
    Are bent like drums;
    Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
    Bethankit! hums.

    Is there that owre his French ragout
    Or olio that wad staw a sow,
    Or fricassee wad make her spew
    Wi' perfect sconner,
    Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
    On sic a dinner?

    Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
    As feckles as wither'd rash,
    His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
    His nieve a nit;
    Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
    O how unfit!

    But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
    The trembling earth resounds his tread.
    Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
    He'll mak it whissle;
    An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
    Like taps o' trissle.

    Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
    And dish them out their bill o' fare,
    Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
    That jaups in luggies;
    But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
    Gie her a haggis!

    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf
    Hoots!

    Mon.

    And nary a reference to the wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie - they can't've been that serious about Burns...

    With apologies to RB: "O wad some pow'r the Giftie gie us, to see some others before they see us."
    Mr tonyb caught the wee beastie. Didn't you see the other thread?
    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark
    This world has lost it's drive, everybody just wants to fit in the be the norm as it were.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
    The manufacturers go to a lot of trouble to find out what the average rider prefers, because the maker who guesses closest to the average preference gets the largest sales. But the average rider is mainly interested in silly (as opposed to useful) “goodies” to try to kid the public that he is riding a racer

  9. #9
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    Thats me- TonyB the Great White Wee Beastie Hunter
    My daughter telling me like it is:
    "There is an old man in your face daddy!"

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixion
    Mr tonyb caught the wee beastie. Didn't you see the other thread?
    Aye - then turn'd "him" out for a' his trouble but house or hald, to thole the winter's sleety dribble an' cranreuch cald...

    At least Mr RobbieB said "sorry" to th' puer wee beastie - at length.
    Motorbike Camping for the win!

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