Advice from those who have been flatting

[jaymzw]

So my situation is this.

I have moved to Perth with my Dad to try to get him set up here so he can save some money and not have to sell his house back in NZ. His workmate also came over with us. We are 'flatting' together in a house sharing rent, power, water, internet and food equally.

I took about a fortnight longer to get a job than either of them who got jobs with-in days of getting here. I owed approximately $900 in rent,food and set up costs which date back to about 6 weeks ago. This is all to my father.

As I now have a job I have gone about paying back this money however in doing so I have come to realise how much they have been spending on food. As I also came to Australia to save as much money as I can to go on my O.E and then on to Uni I now want to buy my own food. However bringing this up created a big argument despite what I thought were valid points regarding the equity of the current arrangement (I work shift work and sometimes miss dinner.) I don't expect either of them to start eating noodles and sausages like I want to but I dont want to eat chicken or steak every night either.

I am only 18 and have never lived with my father before nor have I flatted. Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything. They also thought I wouldn't be able to save more money buying for myself anyway.

And although I'm sure I can come across as knowing it all I don't appreciate the condescension I received when simply requesting that we review our living arrangements. So my question is what would be in my best interests given the above. Should I suck it up and spend more on food than I would like (I believe I could save $50 a week here) or should I persist and buy my own food anyway or even look for somewhere else to live as that was mentioned a few times as well.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

[Mekk]

fuck's sake. flatting with your parents is not flatting. think you're just going to have to take this one in the ass or move out.

[Mom]

So my situation is this.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

Find yourself somewhere else to live pronto. You are not flatting with these grown men. They have a way different attitude to living at their age, than you do at yours.

If you want to stay there, say you are not prepared to "share" the expenses as you dont think it is equitable, say you want to board there. Pay a one off amount each week that covers all expenses. Not sure what the cost of living is over there, but here you could pay $200 a week for that .

[JATZ]

Not sure what the cost of living is over there, but here you could pay $200 a week for that .

Sorry O.T. but....
$200 p/w !!
My kids pay $60 no wonder they won't shift out

[Usarka]

I've never been in a successful flatting situation where food is shared. I've seen it happen but it's usually amongst friends or people with very similar food tastes (vegetarians for instance seem to dig it). Share milk, salt, sugar etc but if you have different tastes and budgets then you need to go separate on the real stuff.

On their side, it sounds like you may be breaking the agreement that you had when you started up - to share the food. On the other hand, the current situation isn't working for you financially or practically.

My prediction is this will either end in a fight or with you "towing the line" and being resentful and miserable.

Find another flat, and find out these sort of arrangements before you move in.

[scott411]

i have been in flatting situation where the shared food worked, and also where it hasn't, and it ended up being one of the reason i moved out of that flat.

when it worked we had 3 guys all eating similar food, and we all took turns at cooking and it worked well for the 18 months we flatted together in 2 different houses.

I agree with the above tho, if it was changing the original agreement it will cause tension, esp if they think it is working well

Tough call either way,

[Maha]

Sorry O.T. but....
$200 p/w !!
My kids pay $60 no wonder they won't shift out

$60 pw board?
I was paying $80 pw in 1986 full board. Three meals a day everything done.
The lady I was boarding with would have a cooked breakfast on the table in the morning, while I was eating, she would be making my lunch and tea was cooked for me also. if sh happened to be out, my tea would be cooked but sitting on simmering pot of water covered with tin foil. Laundry got done as well. It was a chunck of my wages back then but well worth it...for a while anyway.
$180-200 is not out of the question when it comes to full board.

Where James is concerned, the 'full board' scenario would not be in the grand scheme of things with his Dad and another bloke.
Suggestion would be to settle on an agreed amount weekly and live as teen/adult.
The amount would be somewhere close to 1/3 of all costs.
I take it he has his own room?

[The Stranger:Me]

(I believe I could save $50 a week here)

I've never been in a successful flatting situation where food is shared.

Hmm, we share all costs here for $55.00 per week each - including Internet, power, water, phone, a cleaner once a fortnight and food (breakfast and dinner) and groceries. Works just fine. If someone wanted out of the food arrangement I'd give them a credit of $20.00 no problem, but I sincerely doubt they're going to save anything unless they can survive without food.

Saving $50.00? WTF are you guys eating? Anyone who knows us (and there's a few here) knows we're fucking carnivores and eat way too well. There just aint $50.00 in it, plain and simple.

[bogan]

In my experience shared food is slightly cheaper if you have similar tastes, but individual works fine as well except you need a bit more fridge space. Tell em it's a deal breaker and good luck to them finding someone else to put up with their shit, you went there to help him out, that should get you some respect.

[avgas]

Only way to flat is have the plan drawn up on day one. The plan does not change regardless.
If parties can not agree to the plan they have to move on.
In this instance that party is you. You have to move on and find a flat where you can compromise your lifestyle enough to meet the 'flat plan'.
If you cannot compromise your lifestyle you must live in your own place.
This is not the law, this is life.

[NinjaNanna]

... you went there to help him out, that should get you some respect.

That's an 18yo side of the story, truely I wonder whether Dad really needed him as much as he thinks, after all its him that lived off Daddy for so long - not the other way round.

OP maybe you should ponder your own situation and attitude, sounds to me like your 18 going on 30.

[Smifffy]

As said above, I think you'll find it difficult to save $50 a week, unless you go directly for the mac & cheese, noodles & sausages etc.

If you are paying a third of the food costs, maybe it is worth bringing up that you are finding it difficult to meet the bills for food, and a better budget might be worked out.

Do you do any of the cooking? As a long time bachelor bloke I can tell you that for guys, the other advantage of the expensive cuts is that they are easy to prepare with a quick grill or fry. If you were to make em up a tasty spag bol or casserole, even stir frys etc, I'm sure they would enjoy them.

Come up with a menu, check out a few recipe books etc, and go back to them with the menu and the budget for it. Show them that they can save $25 each and still eat well.

At the end of the day though, you won't be able to live beyond your means for long and it sounds like you'll be moving out sooner or later anyway.

As for board, I used to pay $125 a week in Welly around 1990 for full breakfast, dinner with pud and laundry. I paid whether I was there or not, and it was the going rate. $200 doesn't seem that high for full board to me.

I got a job back home and my folks wanted me to move in with them at half the rate of board, with me doing a few of the chores. That set me up to convince the bank to help me buy my first house about 5 years later.

Thanks Mum & Dad.

[steve_t]

Move out and find some other young people to flat with, maybe students

[bogan]

That's an 18yo side of the story, truely I wonder whether Dad really needed him as much as he thinks, after all its him that lived off Daddy for so long - not the other way round.

OP maybe you should ponder your own situation and attitude, sounds to me like your 18 going on 30.

well he said he has never lived with his dad before, but point taken, his side of the story may not work out to be what he plans. Is one sure-fire way to learn though

[Latte]

$900 owed over the last 6 weeks = $150 a week including food. And there's setup costs included in that so it's probabaly even cheaper each week.

Sounds like a good deal to me, if you're getting power/phone/internet included as well, that's an awesome price.