When changing the oil

**FROSTY:Me** · 30th July 2005, 16:10

When changing the oil on your motorcycle certain measures need to be taken.
One needs to be sure one has sufficient oil to fill the sump. One must make sure one has all the correct tools including a big enough oil container.
otherwise one will spend 1.5hours cursing and swearing realising you need to go back to the bike shop for the correct oil/filter and a get a bigger cointainer ---and some frigging kitty litter to mop up the oil rapidly making an ecological hazard of epic proportions.
When one has oil out and new oil filter in the oil filter holder one must be certain that the oil filter O ring is indeed in its groove --Not half in so that when one tightens up the locating bolt it rapidly cuts the o ring in two
resulting in a spectacular spray of oil from the unsealed oil filter bowl join when one starts ones motorcycle up.
One must under no circumstances at this point throw ones toys out of the cot and suggest that ones motorcycle is destined for the scrap heap
FOR SALE--1989 XJ900 --SMALL OIL LEAK

**SuperDave** · 30th July 2005, 16:24

Don't forget about the container you used to drain the old oil into. Make sure you remove it before you wheel the motorycle forward.

I did that once and never again, I spend ages scrubbing my rear tyre that was covered in oil.

**Jantar** · 30th July 2005, 16:34

Originally Posted by FROSTY

When changing the oil on your motorcycle certain measures need to be taken.
One needs to be sure one has sufficient oil to fill the sump. One must make sure one has all the correct tools including a big enough oil container.
otherwise one will spend 1.5hours cursing and swearing realising you need to go back to the bike shop for the correct oil/filter and a get a bigger cointainer ---and some frigging kitty litter to mop up the oil rapidly making an ecological hazard of epic proportions.
When one has oil out and new oil filter in the oil filter holder one must be certain that the oil filter O ring is indeed in its groove --Not half in so that when one tightens up the locating bolt it rapidly cuts the o ring in two
resulting in a spectacular spray of oil from the unsealed oil filter bowl join when one starts ones motorcycle up.
One must under no circumstances at this point throw ones toys out of the cot and suggest that ones motorcycle is destined for the scrap heap
FOR SALE--1989 XJ900 --SMALL OIL LEAK

Of course, only a simpleton would start such an easy job without... Oh, I see.

**Ixion** · 30th July 2005, 16:36

Mate, y'need to put your name down for the Spanner Evening that's coming up on Thursday .

They'll show you how to do simple maintenance jobs.

**oldfart** · 30th July 2005, 16:47

And of course everyone always remembers to put the sump bolt back in before pouring in 4l of expensive clean oil & wondering what the running water sound is.

**FROSTY:Me** · 30th July 2005, 16:49

Originally Posted by Ixion

Mate, y'need to put your name down for the Spanner Evening that's coming up on Thursday .

They'll show you how to do simple maintenance jobs.

Youll keep sunshine youll keep

**Ixion** · 30th July 2005, 16:52

Originally Posted by oldfart

And of course everyone always remembers to put the sump bolt back in before pouring in 4l of expensive clean oil & wondering what the running water sound is.

Um , ah , eh , yeah , of course. I mean, uh , yeah, sure, no-one would forget to do that. And wonder why it was taking all that oil and still not showing on the dipstick . Y' can't prove a thing !

('Cept, oil being thickish (well, 30W-40 is anyway), it doesn't make any sound when it trickles out onto grass. Or so I've heard, anyway. Not that I'd know myself of course. Just something someone told me once. In the pub like)

**FROSTY:Me** · 30th July 2005, 16:53

Ohh and once one has made a total fuck up of such a simple task ---One must NEVER then talk about it on an internet forum--thus convincing one and all what a total mechanical twat you really are

**Ixion** · 30th July 2005, 16:55

Originally Posted by FROSTY

Ohh and once one has made a total fuck up of such a simple task ---One must NEVER then talk about it on an internet forum--thus convincing one and all what a total mechanical twat you really are

Never fear. We've lots of clever geeky people here.

We'll COMPUTERISE it.

You may think you have made a total fuck up. But wait till you see what a fuck up a COMPUTER can make of it !

**Jantar** · 30th July 2005, 16:59

Originally Posted by FROSTY

Ohh and once one has made a total fuck up of such a simple task ---One must NEVER then talk about it on an internet forum--thus convincing one and all what a total mechanical twat you really are

But maybe not as bad as doing a complete engine overhaul. and just as you are doing a final clean up prior to starting the engine for the first time, you find a brand new piston circlip in with some old washers.

**rogson** · 30th July 2005, 17:40

A "friend of mine" was in the process of changing the oil when the phone rang.
Apparently, it was from an aquaintance of particular interest at the time.
He got back to the job after a while - but his mind was elsewhere. He checked where he had got to - yep the sump plug was in - started-up the engine and shit! where did all that mechanical noise come from!

**Motu** · 30th July 2005, 17:55

This is one of the reasons I use Silkolene - it's biodegradable.

**Two Smoker** · 30th July 2005, 18:42

Well ill be honest... and tell you how much of an idiot Bruce is.... who tried to loosen the sump plug by tightening it... thus stripping the sump... thus me walking to work or begging for a ride...

But then im an idiot for watching him and wondering why he was using so much force...

**TonyB** · 30th July 2005, 18:59

Here was me thinking this would be another one of Frosty's helpful hint threads for newbies.... I guess it is in a way.... you were just demonstrating what NOT to do.... right? Not the best day's spannering eh?

Bit like the time 'a freind' was putting an oil pressure guage on a car. Just around the time he was doing up the oil line from the block to the filter the phone rang. Some time later he comes out, looks at the connection- all looks good. Hops in, starts it up :"brmmm splash splash splash" thinks, what is that noise? Walks around to front of car to see life blood of engine gushing out of affore mentioned connection..... A good couple of hours cleaning up. Wait for person on other end of the offending phone call to turn up so they can go an buy some oil. Earns the nickname "Exxon".... after the Exxon Valdese...

**thehollowmen** · 30th July 2005, 19:03

Originally Posted by Ixion

Never fear. We've lots of clever geeky people here.

We'll COMPUTERISE it.

You may think you have made a total fuck up. But wait till you see what a fuck up a COMPUTER can make of it !

Yes computers will loose large amounts of bits if anything happens. (badoom tish)
ok that was uncalled for