Wife or the bike?

**nzspokes** · 6th July 2012, 22:12

My wife said I couldnt have a motorbike. She said there were lots of things I couldnt do.

Im single now.......

**ducatilover** · 7th July 2012, 00:23

Originally Posted by Maha

You totally missed the analogy Einstein...and where has the word demand been mentioned?...
Replace gambling with say...Marathon running...

If my wife was addicted to Marathon Running and I wanted her to stop, thats not control, thats a marriage saving request....is that better?

or....If my wife was addicted to Bungy jumpimg and I wanted her to stop, thats not control, thats a marriage saving request.... clearer yet?

You told Mom to run and jump? You dick!

For me, bike. It worked out well for me last time. Last time I noticed there are a shit load more women out there than bikes and I do need more bikes.

**Tigadee** · 7th July 2012, 00:25

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Successful relationships are about sharing and compromise - not ultimatums.

Hear! Hear! I'll drink to that!

**Conquiztador** · 7th July 2012, 08:51

Originally Posted by Maha

You totally missed the analogy Einstein...and where has the word demand been mentioned?...
Replace gambling with say...Marathon running...

If my wife was addicted to Marathon Running and I wanted her to stop, thats not control, thats a marriage saving request....is that better?

or....If my wife was addicted to Bungy jumpimg and I wanted her to stop, thats not control, thats a marriage saving request.... clearer yet?

The initial statement from you including gambling might have been a poorly chosen comparison, as gambling has so many attached negatives to it. I can see that marathon running and bungy jumping could cause rifts in a marriage if they were taken to the extreme. (Wifie/hubby always away, costly, hanging out with like minded people). So yes, you could swap biking for them and have the same result. But I recon same applies: When someone comes in to your life and you have a interest/hobby/sport that you are passionate about, they would be silly to expect that they could get you to stop doing what you love. And so, when we ride bikes, for someone to come in to our lives and request that we give it up otherwise they would leave, is about control and the wish to change us.

I expect that many of us have been down that road: We have been considered a "good catch" with some flaws. The person coming in to our life had a clear picture of who they wanted and as we were close to it, they settled for us. But the plan was always to change the bits of us that were "not right" so that we became their ideal partner. Then it comes down to how much we value who we are and how strong we are. If we never really knew where we fitted and our personal happiness was poor, then I suspect that following the wishes (demands...) of a stronger partner might be the easiest option. But we would never become truly happy in our self by allowing someone else to decide what we do and who we are. So sooner or later this relationship will fail anyhow (And I include living all your life unhappy in a relationship as a failure too)

I conclude this with saying: If there is a ultimatum that he/she has given you stating that you can either pick him/her or the bike, then if you dispose of the bike you are not only giving away your ride but a part of your self. And sooner or later you will want this back. My recommendation is do it sooner. Actually, if you picked the bike first up you would have solved a problem with this relationship that will never otherwise go away. (This does not apply to situations where we, as intelligent beings, for financial reasons sell the bike to help the current situation we are in. As in this case, when finances again allow, we will get another one).

Soapbox kicked in to corner.