Obituary for Mr. Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable
parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap,
and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by a stepbrother and stepsister; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do
nothing. **
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Originally Posted by skidmark
RIP Mr. Sense
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