Things you say to yourself in your helmet when riding!

[tail_end_charlie]

When riding in the pissing down rain:

"Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Just keep it smooth, smooth is key. Easy on the brakes, nice and gently now. Slow is smoo............................F******* S***! I said slow you f****** munter! Why the f*** did you F******* do that stupid s*** when I f****** told you to f******* be f******* smooth! You, useless F******* t***.

After that it usually just starts repeating, so I thought I would just paraphrase.

There are also a lot of "Don't pull out, just stay there. Don't do that, I have the right of way..................whew, thanks for obeying traffic laws." at intersections. Course sometimes the thankyou part doesn't happen..........those instances the ranting usaully stops when I run out of breath.

[Oakie]

Forgot one:

'Only a fool breaks the two second rule"

and for rainy days "Only a fool breaks the two second rule and today it is raining"

... of course I tend to say it faster than you should so it fits the distance I'm actually following by ...

[Mom]

This morning I got caught in traffic in a non splitting situation, so it was, I will not put my feet down, slower, slower, I will not put my feet down, slower, slower. By doing this I can travel at really stupidly slow speeds. Of course this afternoon it got counter balanced by, I can not believe that 2 plod have just joined the motorway before me

[FJRider]

This morning I got caught in traffic in a non splitting situation ...

I got caught in traffic this arvo too ... the one in front refused to go faster than 105. and the one behind didn't want to pass either ...

I haven't seen the traffic that bad around here ... for ages ...

[Mom]

I got caught in traffic this arvo too ... the one in front refused to go faster than 105. and the one behind didn't want to pass either ...

I haven't seen the traffic that bad around here ... for ages ...

Yeah well I dont live in Bum Fuck Nowhere

[Drew]

Yeah well I dont live in Bum Fuck Nowhere

Soooooo, you get your bum fucked in a major metropolis then?

[FJRider]

Yeah well I dont live in Bum Fuck Nowhere

Down here in Bum Fuck Nowhere ... We have donuts ... AND ... sticky-buns ...


And on a good day Pancakes ...


Quite a few Northerners are moving down here to live too ... what do they know ... that you don't ... ???

[FJRider]

Soooooo, you get your bum fucked in a major metropolis then?

suzuki riders ... eh ... !!!

[Drew]

Quite a few Northerners are moving down here to live too ... what do they know ... that you don't ... ???

Maybe they heard about the bum fucking?

[Madness]

Maybe they heard about the bum fucking?

They don't call it the deep south for nothin'

[FJRider]

Maybe they heard about the bum fucking?

1st I've heard of it ... What does she know ... that I don't ... ????

[Mom]

Soooooo, you get your bum fucked in a major metropolis then?

I prefer to think of it as a lovely place to be if it is all the same to you , bum fucking by negotiation

[Mom]

Down here in Bum Fuck Nowhere ... We have donuts ... AND ... sticky-buns ...


And on a good day Pancakes ...


Quite a few Northerners are moving down here to live too ... what do they know ... that you don't ... ???

I am off carbs at the moment

[FJRider]

I am off carbs at the moment

It's ok ... there's no calories in Paradise ...

Well there are ... but they don't work after 7pm ...

[Mom]

It's ok ... there's no calories in Paradise ...

Well there are ... but they don't work after 7pm ...

But that is when the wine flows