Ever stayed calm while crapping yourself?

[superjackal]

Ok, so I turn off of the road from Mt Vic tunnel in Wellington and head up the hill towards Newtown. Just before the roundabout I hear something in my helmet. I look down at my visor.... WASP!!! IN! MY! HELMET! As a child, a friend and I were each stung 10 times by an angry wasp, so my atavistic fear is in overdrive. Note, when you're riding a motorcycle and a wasp is in your helmet, it's important not to panic.

I pulled onto the footpath - added complication, I'm on a steep gradient, so have to sort the bike out first. About 100 things went through my head, I sorted the bike, undid the helmet clip and took my helmet off so fast I threw it about 10 feet.

Unstung. Result!!!!

The whole episode was about 20 seconds long but felt like 10 minutes. A couple of Chinese kids thought it was very funny.

What are the odds of a wasp flying into a baby-pea-sized-hole in your helmet???? Not as high as you'd think....

[clonak]

I disturbed a wasp nest doing some gardening in the front garden, I swear there was 10 - 15 of the suckers chasing me up the road as I was running arms flinging about screaming like a girl. My flatmates were on the deck pissing them selfs laughing.

Keeping calm in a situation like that though, takes alot of self controll. I once saw a girl jump out of a moving car because there was a spider. The driver stopped the car in the midle of the road and jumped out too.

[Asher]

One of my mates grew up in ozzy, his dad had a large spider drop onto his lap from his sun visor while driving, he went off the road and through a fence.
Apparently it happens quite often.

[slofox]

Ok, so I turn off of the road from Mt Vic tunnel in Wellington and head up the hill towards Newtown. Just before the roundabout I hear something in my helmet. I look down at my visor.... WASP!!! IN! MY! HELMET! As a child, a friend and I were each stung 10 times by an angry wasp, so my atavistic fear is in overdrive. Note, when you're riding a motorcycle and a wasp is in your helmet, it's important not to panic.

I pulled onto the footpath - added complication, I'm on a steep gradient, so have to sort the bike out first. About 100 things went through my head, I sorted the bike, undid the helmet clip and took my helmet off so fast I threw it about 10 feet.

Unstung. Result!!!!

The whole episode was about 20 seconds long but felt like 10 minutes. A couple of Chinese kids thought it was very funny.

What are the odds of a wasp flying into a baby-pea-sized-hole in your helmet???? Not as high as you'd think....

Back in the days of open face helmets, I got a wasp stuck between my forehead and the helmet.

Fastest stop and removal of helmet ever - up until your episode anyway.

No stings either.

[george formby]

When summit like this happens, bees in your bonnet. Do Not Open Your Mouth!
Crossing you eyes to focus on the bug & opening your mouth to inhale sharply makes things far worse... I know this to be true.

[clonak]

One of my mates grew up in ozzy, his dad had a large spider drop onto his lap from his sun visor while driving, he went off the road and through a fence.
Apparently it happens quite often.

That reminds me of the time I was following my brother in his van, traveling along nicely, then all of a sudden his van starts swerving all over the place, like a maniac. I thought "What the hell is going on, is he alright" then he pulls over to the side of the road, and leaps out of his van, before I even have a chance to stop, screaming "a fucking mouse just dropped out of my roof". we spent the next 15-20 minutes pulling his van apart on the side of the road trying to find the sucker, Never did. Moral of the story, never leave your van full of rubbish for 3 weeks, take it to the tip straight away.

[Maha]

Not a wasp situation but, a front wheel wash going downhill with a pillion onboard...yikes!
Relax is the key to a situation of which you speak, or any 'holy crap' situation you may find yourself in on the road.

[superjackal]

I disturbed a wasp nest doing some gardening in the front garden, I swear there was 10 - 15 of the suckers chasing me up the road as I was running arms flinging about screaming like a girl. My flatmates were on the deck pissing them selfs laughing.

Keeping calm in a situation like that though, takes alot of self controll. I once saw a girl jump out of a moving car because there was a spider. The driver stopped the car in the midle of the road and jumped out too.

Heh heh. That reminds me of my time in Venezuela. I took a piss one morning, quite happy, then watched as a scorpion climbed out of the floor drain and headed straight for my left foot.

Ever taken a piss standing on one leg while a scorpion makes "a move"?

Come to think of it I have a lot of creepy crawly stories from time in Australia and South America....

[sinfull]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !

[bluninja]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !

OR di it real quick with a panicked expression ...still works

[Deano]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !

Noice ! The only time I had a wasp in my helmet, the visor was already up. I jammed my left hand into the inside of the helmet and squashed the fucker before he stung me.

Wish I'd thought of doing your trick though !

[Karl08]

How's the helmet, after it's wee journey?

[george formby]

Not a wasp situation but, a front wheel wash going downhill with a pillion onboard...yikes!
Relax is the key to a situation of which you speak, or any 'holy crap' situation you may find yourself in on the road.

Amazing how quick the brain goes from yikes to anti falling off mode.

[McFatty1000]

I always figure, if you're calm when everything turns to crap, if its gonna hurt, it'll hurt less when you're not tensed up.

Having said that, easier said than done...

[dinosaur]

doing the Coro loop, just had lunch in Coromandel town and headed over the hill, on the way down the wicked windies, feeling the chicken strips, bing a bee pops into my helmet - fuck!

Visor got opened immediately, the wind that came in the helmet from opening the visor just pressed the damn bee against the corner of my helmet and temple, sting sting sting - little shit, two more hard out corners before I could stop
Helmet off - offending bug tortured and murdered. Helmet on and switch into catch up mode so I don't get too far behind and seem like a soft cock