Lithp, thurely...Originally Posted by deeknow
Lithp, thurely...Originally Posted by deeknow
Motorbike Camping for the win!
IANAL but AFAIK: Nope. Only the top 30cms or so (Though you are held responsible for any damage tree roots might do to council pipes a few metres down)Originally Posted by Sniper
Anyone can apply for a prospecting licence to look for, and exploit if found, any natural resources they might have reason to suspect is under "your" land and you are required by law to provide reasonable access.
Motorbike Camping for the win!
Six foot deep actually. Depth of a grave. Leastways that's what the mediaval rule was.Originally Posted by Wolf
Originally Posted by skidmark
Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
My bad, must've confused feet with inches - we young metric types do that...Originally Posted by Ixion
Motorbike Camping for the win!
The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it difficult to remember what language you're currently using. This guide is offered as a public service to help programmers who find themselves in such dilemmas.
C
You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++
You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over there."
FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.
Modula2
After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
COBOL
Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
LISP
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ....
BASIC
Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
FORTH
Foot in yourself shoot.
APL
You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.
[also...]
You hear a gunshot, and there's blood on the floor, but you don't remember enough linear algebra to figure out what happened.
Pascal
The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
SNOBOL
If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot.
If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.
Concurrent Euclid
You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.
HyperTalk
Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot of the left leg of you. Answer the result.
Motif
You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
Unix
% ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
%
Paradox
Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.
Revelation
You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.
Visual Basic
You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much fun doing it that you won't care.
Prolog
You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to explain.
370 JCL
You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.
Ada
After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover that your foot is of the wrong type.
Assembly
You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot.
Perl
while($_ = ){for($i = 0; $i < $#toes; $i++){}s/[ \t]*($toes[$i])/blood/g;}
Tcl/Tk
You write 10,000 lines of c code to shoot yourself in the foot, then write a nice interface so other people can shoot themselves in the foot in exactly the same way with less trouble.
Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. And don't start a sentence with a conjugation. (William Safire)
Brilliant parsley.![]()
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One thing I've yet to see mentioned is "just do it".
Do you use any FOSS? Mozilla? OOo? etc? If so, then start using their latest CSV release and find bugs, submit bug reports, as you start to get into the swing of things you can then progress to bug fixing.
As for the language wh0ring. Meh
I'm of the opinion that every language (and development methodology for that matter) has it's pros and cons. It's just a matter of choosing the right language for the right problem. Learning how to program is about a lot more than knowing a particular language (being able to speak english does not make one a linguist).
Having said that I do think going with a language where you have to do it all yourself (ie C) over one which takes care of things for you (ie Java with it's garbage collection) is better when starting out. Read an article via /. last year which pointed out a lot of Universities in the states were going back to teaching Assembly to their CS students for exactly the same reason.
Look at it this way. Take some one who learnt to install hardware back in the "good ol days" of having to assign IRQ's and manually install drivers. Then take someone younger who has learnt how to install hardware via the windows wizard. Both are completely capable of installing hardware when it all goes well. But when something goes wrong the person with the more indepth understanding and knowledge has a much better chance of solving the problem. Same difference between those who learnt computers with CLI's (like dos or *nix) and those who have learnt computers via GUI's.
Are you looking to get into the industry? If you manage it before I do hook a brother up.
Getting quite disolutioned about the whole thing. Keep hearing about how there's a massive shortage and employers are screaming out for staff. But they all seem to only want people with the 2-5yrs+ experience. How the hell is one supposed to get the experience when no one takes on someone with only qualifications. Hell I'd love to do a degree parttime sometime in the future but no way am I making that sort of commitment until I'm in the industry and therefore assured of its usefullness. /rant
Hayden - Evidence that even the mediocre can achieve great things.
((U+C+I) x (10-S))/20 x A x 1/(1-sin(F/10))
See what I mean with people not wanting to hire newbies
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
I started as a programmer in Pascal, taught myself other languages, was shifted to technical work and Network admin when they no longer needed an in-house programmer - back in the CLI and hardware interrupts days.Originally Posted by Ghost Lemur
I've worked with those of the never-used-anything-but-the-Add-Hardware-wizard type and of the "What's a DOS prompt?" variety and they started to go to pieces when the hardware did not perform as expected - didn't know what to do. They also had no idea of how I got all sorts of info out of the machines - like detailed directory structures for the whole system.
Not all of them are like that - some have studied Arcana even if they haven't used it and had an idea of where to look.
I still use DOS for some tasks in my work - usually to get information in a manipulatable form (text file) rather than just a pile of vaguely informative eye candy.
Motorbike Camping for the win!
Or PM me - we're looking for a good grad or two in Christchurch at the moment, and might be nice to see a CV from someone who's in the same country as us.Originally Posted by jrandom
Im not a grad and I ave no plans to go to Uni. I have a good mentor and Im just teaching myself. Hopefully there might be a job for me sometime next year
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
Well gosh kids, here's a really great way to start programming in C and have fun at the same time!
http://www.c-jump.com/
Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. And don't start a sentence with a conjugation. (William Safire)
Hmmmm, must get that when I start C![]()
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
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