KickStarter project Whatsmyspeed.com

[R650R]

A special invitation to KBers to be the first investors with benefits in this new business.
My business study has found a demand for kiwi drivers to know exactly how fast they are going and to have a reputable cache of evidence to challenge speed tickets.
The first 100 investors to invest a minimum $10,000 each will get Goldclass member benefits for life (conditions apply) along with a share of 5% of net profits paid decadely and divided amongst all investors.
Subscribers to Whatsmyspeed.com will have their car GPS tracked 24/7 and also a secondary laser device integrated to the main controller will constantly measure instantaneous speed.
Subscribers will have all legal costs fully refunded upon successful not guilty verdict for any wrongly issued speed tickets, conditions apply.
So what do you get?

Gold class members for $500 a month get:

24/7 GPS tracking and remote speed monitoring.
In car/bike digital speed display calibtrated in increments of 0.1km/h and full integration to cruise control.
Text alerts to three nominated cellphone numbers that speed exceeded.
All legal costs fully refunded upon successful not guilty verdict for any wrongly issued speed tickets, conditions apply
15% of all whatsmyspeed.com branded prison clothing
Interest free loan to cover moving costs in cases of persecution by rogue cops (one off allowance only)
25% of brake light bulbs at Ripco
Free emergency seat cover laundering when on last 10 demerit points.
Free entry to Whatsmyspeed.com topless bars

Club class $100 a month get:
24/7 GPS tracking and remote speed monitoring.
In car/bike digital speed display calibtrated in increments of 0.5km/h and full integration to cruise control.
Text alerts to one nominated cellphone numbers that speed exceeded.

Conditions:
Drivers must have Full licence for vehicle class driven.
Drivers must have clean licence with no speed tickets.
Legal costs only valid for tickets issued for 1-4km/h over
Life Gold membership revoked for any new traffic offences or undeclared previous offences.
All subscribers agree for police to have live access to speed readouts remotely.
Member ships may be paid monthly but the term of memebership is in five year periods. All remaining subscriptions to cover five year bracket must be paid if member leaves early or has service revoked for offending.
Whastmyspeed.com is not responsibly for any false readings due to war, terrorism, weather conditions, terrain or satellite failure.
Free entry to topless bars only valid in conjunction with purchase of three or more beverages per hour. Patrons not tipping will b ejected from premises.

[Oakie]

You noob. I have just done a check and found the website Whatsmyspeed.com is not even registered. I have now registered it and will release it to you for free lifetime membership plus 5$ and a packet of Green Onion chips. Oh, I don't need membership to the topless bar either. I have Mrs Oakie whose rack would put all those topless bar chicks to shame.

[98tls]

You noob. I have just done a check and found the website Whatsmyspeed.com is not even registered. I have now registered it and will release it to you for free lifetime membership plus 5$ and a packet of Green Onion chips. Oh, I don't need membership to the topless bar either. I have Mrs Oakie whose rack would put all those topless bar chicks to shame.

Pics or its bullshit

[awa355]

Pics or its bullshit

The night Oakie met his missus.

[Oakie]

Pics or its bullshit

I knew I would be reading a post like that tonight. The pics are on the internet if you're good enough to find them ...

[R650R]

The night Oakie met his missus.

LOL which one is his ;p

[R650R]

You noob. I have just done a check and found the website Whatsmyspeed.com is not even registered. I have now registered it and will release it to you for free lifetime membership plus 5$ and a packet of Green Onion chips. Oh, I don't need membership to the topless bar either. I have Mrs Oakie whose rack would put all those topless bar chicks to shame.

How about Mrs oakie does a few shifts at the bar and we don't sue you for infringing on our trademark with a patent troll buy up of our domain names.
Whatrsmyspeed.com bars offer other member benefits that cant be printed for legalo reasons.

[R650R]

This thread is a pisstake and a rather obvious one for all those eager investors pming me lolza.....

[caspernz]

Haha, bit of beer money on offer then? So when are you gonna sell the Auckland Harbour tunnel...

I've found using a GPS speedo, for safe traversing of known hideouts, is a cheaper alternative. Not to mention a good radar detector

[Oakie]

This thread is a pisstake and a rather obvious one for all those eager investors pming me lolza.....

OMG. Just OMG. Perhaps there is a future for you as a creative writer in Nigeria?
Just goes to show though that if you put something dodgy in front of enough people, a handful will take the bait ... and it only takes a handful to make it worthwhile.

[R650R]

Just goes to show though that if you put something dodgy in front of enough people, a handful will take the bait ... and it only takes a handful to make it worthwhile.

With a sales pitch like that we could use you as front of house staff selling lap dances to the punters. I bet you could sell eternal damnation to a priest also with skills like that.
BTW if Mrs Oakie turns up late for her shift again I'm gonna start docking wages....

[R650R]

So when are you gonna sell the Auckland Harbour tunnel...

Trotters Independent Tunneling Systems is going well, we cant afford to sell that baby yet while the govt subsidies are still rolling in.
It will double in value overnight soon as Auckland Transport puts those new tolls in on the harbour bridge....

[Oakie]

With a sales pitch like that we could use you as front of house staff selling lap dances to the punters. I bet you could sell eternal damnation to a priest also with skills like that.
BTW if Mrs Oakie turns up late for her shift again I'm gonna start docking wages....

Why thank you. Glad you appreciate my work. As for Mrs Oakie ... it's the web-cam world for her from now on. The money rolls in and there will be no repeats of that riot the other night.

As for Trotters Independent Tunneling Systems ... can you keep me abreast of developments there?