Winning Friends and Influencing People

**vifferman** · 28th September 2005, 11:55

Uh-oh.

I think I may have offended the new lady at work.

I was telling my boss how I'd started buying farkles for my bike, and he said, Boss: "Hey - Sara has a bike. Hey Sara - what's your bike again?"
Sara: "Harley Davidson Sportster."
Me: "Oh that's alright. I heard 'Harley Davidson' and started to think: 'tractor'. What sort of Sportster - 883 or 1200?"
Sara: "883."
Me: "Oh nice!"
Boss: "And what does your husband have?"
Sara: "Harley Davidson Soft-tail Classic."
Me: "Oh. A tractor."

**bugjuice** · 28th September 2005, 11:58

great start..
now go tell her that you've heard all harley chicks are 'dykes on bikes..' and the hubby's for show

**Blackbird** · 28th September 2005, 11:59

Nah, impossible to offend Hardley Ableson owners, just ask Scumdog (but from a discreet distance)

Geoff

**Sniper** · 28th September 2005, 11:59

Good work Viff, now slap her three times and tell her she is a witch. A friend told me that it will make her forgive you.

**ManDownUnder** · 28th September 2005, 12:00

Originally Posted by vifferman

Uh-oh.

I think I may have offended the new lady at work.

I was telling my boss how I'd started buying farkles for my bike, and he said, Boss: "Hey - Sara has a bike. Hey Sara - what's your bike again?"
Sara: "Harley Davidson Sportster."
Me: "Oh that's alright. I heard 'Harley Davidson' and started to think: 'tractor'. What sort of Sportster - 883 or 1200?"
Sara: "883."
Me: "Oh nice!"
Boss: "And what does your husband have?"
Sara: "Harely Davidson Soft-tail Classic."
Me: "Oh. A tractor."

Apologise, and ask her if you have to wipe the shit off your shoe before you shove your other foot in your gob too LOL

Nice one - well done that man!
MDU

**Gixxer 4 ever** · 28th September 2005, 12:02

Yep,

me thinks you have. Never mind you can go and ride with them some time. Take the ute and trailer and pick the HD's up and all will be forgiven

**vifferman** · 28th September 2005, 12:03

Not a good start.

She only started here yesterday (? dunno - I'm a bit out of it). Moved here from Engerland. She's very pretty, slight and feminine. Just the sort of person you'd imagine whizzing around the countryside on a Sportster. In her black, tassled leathers. With a matt black openface and Dirty Dog sunnies. Mebbe a lit fag hanging out of her mouth.
I reckon the nicely combed hair and conservative dress is a cunning front. She's probably moved her drug empire here.

Now - where's that pharking pickaxe? This hole I'm digging's slow going with just a shovel...

**Big Dave** · 28th September 2005, 12:24

Take heart - when you have nice bikes like that - you don't really care what anyone on an old honda thinks anyway.

**Sniper** · 28th September 2005, 12:25

Just go up to her. Apologise if you deem it nessesary and then ask for a shag?

Seriously though, when she shee's you ride a jap bike, she will know where the comment came from.

**Lou Girardin** · 28th September 2005, 12:41

Originally Posted by Sniper

Seriously though, when she shee's you ride a jap bike, she will know where the comment came from.

She'll probably think he's not worth knowing.
Very cliquey, these Harley people.

**vifferman** · 28th September 2005, 12:44

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Take heart - when you have nice bikes like that - you don't really care what anyone on an old honda thinks anyway.

Old-ish bike.

Originally Posted by Sniper

Just go up to her. Apologise if you deem it nessesary and then ask for a shag?

Sounds far too complicated. (A) I've already got one woman, and (B) Sara is rather good-looking, and I'm not.

Originally Posted by Lou Girardin

She'll probably think he's not worth knowing.
Very cliquey, these Harley people.

She probably thought that when she met me. I'm not particularly presentable at the best of times, and after more than 2 weeks of being nearly dead (or at least, hoping to be), I look very underwhelming. Sort of corpse-like, without the unmistakable smells of putrescene and cadaverine. (Yes, those are real things. They're two of the only things I learned from five and half years of tertiary 'education'.)

**Sparky Bills** · 28th September 2005, 12:53

Originally Posted by Sniper

Just go up to her. Apologise if you deem it nessesary and then ask for a shag?

Why apologise?
Treat her mean, keep her keen! HAHA

**scumdog** · 28th September 2005, 13:01

You're a silver toungued devil Mr vifferman, however I wouldn't worry too much she's probably already catagorised you as one of those "other riders" (you know; the ones that want to own a Harley as opposed to those who already have one

)