Life in general

[vifferman]

I know what you mean, my dad died 6 months before I turned 21.

I was just a couple of weeks off 21 years old and had to (with my Mum and Sis) turn the life-support off to my Dad who was only 41.

Crikey!
That makes three of us then.

My father died when I was 4 months off 21.
None of this, "oh how I do miss him" stuff though. There have been lots of times I've been through (graduating, getting married, the boys being born, etc.) where it would have been nice to have had him around, but...
In a sense I didn't really have a Dad. There was only one occasion in 20-odd years where we actually talked, rather than him lecturing me or whatever. Even though he was there most of the time, he was an absentee father, not really relating to us. I miss him in a way, but most of the time since he died has been dealing with feeling cheated, and also coming to understand the way he was, wondering who he really was (only had one conversation along those sort of lines), and resenting/appreciating the facets of his personality that I recognise in me.
I just hope I'm a better father to my boys than he was to me, and I think I have been. At least I've spent time with them, and let them know I love them.

[vifferman]

I was not upset at all when she died,her illness gave us time to sort things out....but it has been very hard to write this,I've had to walk away several times.....

I can understand that.
Props to you, Motu.

By the way - where do you buy Loctite?

[Paul in NZ]

Wowsers...

A quiet little thread here with some great stuff...

Us baby boomers (I'm a late boomer) parents lived in a very different world and WW1, the depression and WW2 coloured everything. In the period between WW1 and WW2 some people went through very very tough times and while the religious right like to go on about the break down of the family blah blah blah, in a lot of cases we would not want to go back to those times... Funnily most parents that lived through it were reluctant to talk about it because they believed that somehow we had built a better world. I think largely, they were right (but lets not disappoint them eh)

My Mum lived through it all. Her Dad was gasses in WW1 and never regained any decent quality of life and her mum had to be the bread winner. They lived in public work camps in the bush during the depression... Hard stuff...

Yet, she came out of it a tough, loving person.

I remember her helping me refit the barrels on my speed twin when I had an arm in a sling from falling off my BSA... Never went on about it, just lent a hand and spent some time while dad was at work.

She died a few years back in her early 70's. Heart attack on the 5th Green at the Hagley Golf course playing in the final of the club champs on the second set of 18 holes, 2 shots down but gaining on her opponent who was 20 years younger.

Gritty stuff and while we all still miss her terribly I don't begrudge her death. Outside, surrounded by your mates, nice day, top of your game, full throttle... You Rock Rosie!

Vickster and i are off to visit her folks and my dad in 2 weeks... Can't wait!

Cheers

[Brian d marge]

I can point out how quickly things can change ,,,we Had a local wino ..Uma chan ..mad as a march hare ..walked around the comunity picking up cans and keeping the sidewalk clean ,,his job...harmless enough ,,,though you didnt really want him talking to you ,,,
Woke up last sunday morning to see flames from the top of his house ....25 min later the house was gone and so was he ...
From start to finish ,,,max 3o min ,..
So ( note to me ) what ever you want to do in life ,,,do it now ,,,( another note to me ..stop sitting in front of computer replying to KB ,,,do some work !!)
Anyway it was pretty surreal ,,,still hasnt really dawned on me ... but untill you see a house fire ,,,in full flight ,,those pictures on the news dont do enough ,,
So guess who has checked the smoke alarms ,,,and has an escape route

On the subject of parents I have 2 ,,, Ones Irish and the other is impossible ( English you know !!)

Me mother ,,the Irish one , is completly irish ,,,no cure ,,,daft as a brush ....The English one ,,me dad ...still hasnt come to terms with the fact that I am a mechanic ...and am happy cleaning bike wheels ...never mind ....
Still we went to Wanganui cemetery circuit and secretly I think he was very happy ... he was like a kid in a candy store ... I am not sure what he liked best the Motards or the triumph sidecar...or the fact he could eat junk food without the voice in his ear ......

Right I have to clean the bike after Sunday ...and get things organised for this weekend ...practice for an Enduro ........

Nice thread lots of good thinking ...

Stephen

[nudemetalz]

Wow !!! I never knew I would get this much response. Motu, your piece was truly something else, I'll shout you a beer when I meet you (I said "when").

Motorcyclists are like one big family. We have what non-motorcyclists will never understand. It's like a bond, an addiction, a drug maybe. We can get that adrenaline fix just by going for a wee ride around the block.
Do you see car owners waving to each other on the open road? Not likely.

Sharing my experience here has been difficult. I had to have a few goes at it myself as I found myself getting emotional as January 17th 1991 came back to me (incidentally the same day as the first Gulf War started) like it was yesterday.
Just listening to my Mother crying in the shower day after day afterwards for about 6 months and knowing I couldn't do a damn thing about it.
I could have gone and smacked over the guy who pulled out in front of him and hit him, but would have that brought my Father back? No.,it would have made me out to be the criminal,..and why put extra emotional stress on a family already there.

This is the first time I have ever done something like this thread and I'm glad I did as there are others out there have experienced far worse.

Thanks for hearing me out.

[Blackbird]

Motorcyclists are like one big family. We have what non-motorcyclists will never understand. It's like a bond, an addiction, a drug maybe. We can get that adrenaline fix just by going for a wee ride around the block.
Do you see car owners waving to each other on the open road? Not likely.

You're dead right about bikers supporting each other, but even more than that, Kiwi bikers are very special indeed, the best of the best. As an ex-Pom, I think I can say that without being too one-eyed.

[SPman]

Wow !!! I never knew I would get this much response. Motu, your piece was truly something else, I'll shout you a beer when I meet you (I said "when").

We all have people we love, who are no longer here, for one reason or another. Your thread tapped into some.
As long as they are in our hearts and minds, though, they are never truly gone....

Live your days in the best way you are able, to commemorate those who no longer can.

[Jackrat]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

That's not morbid Chris,that's good memories an such.
Something to treasure, an he's with you every time you think of him.
I still feel the same way about my youngest brother who we lost in 1987,the best of a bunch of ratbags for sure.
1987 might of been a while ago,but it's still like yesterday to me.
Respect mate.

[Macktheknife]

Thanks for starting this thread mate, I also lost my Dad, and my brother too. I miss them every day, but not in a sad way if you know what I mean. I feel a little ripped off that they are not here to share their views and experience with me, and share in the joys of my life, I know my dad would be proud of me and what I have managed to achieve. There have been many times when I really wished I could just talk to him again.
I want to just say though, as wonderful as that would be for me, or anyone else, he did a great job of preparing me for life and I am inspired by his example. Although I will probably never be a dad myself, if I was to be so lucky I would want to make as good a job of it as he did.
I propose a toast to all fathers, present and not, what they did was their best, let us thank them and drink to their health.
My heartfelt thanks to everyone who had the courage to share their experiences.

[inlinefour]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

Agree completely about the bikes. I've got a father somewhere but he is a drop kick that I have nothing to do with. Not sure which is worse.

[Rhino]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

Hi Chris,

I know what you feel. It doesn't get easier, even if your parent has past the "three score years and ten." My father collapsed on the bowling green and was dead before he hit the ground. It still hurt like hell, and as an only child, dealing with a very distraught spouse (they had been married 53 years) was not easy.

This happened in January 2001, but sometimes the pain returns.

As has been suggested, go out and do a "pegs down" ride. I'm sure your Dad would enjoy it too.

[nudemetalz]

Thanks, Rhino,.

The last bike he rode was in 1990 when he took my VF500F out for a ride with Mum on the back one sunny Sunday afternoon.
He hadn't ridden for a few years and came back with a huge smile on his face, saying what a lovely bike to ride (it was !!). I could see that glint returning. I will never forget that.

[Zed]

My Dad is still alive and kicking, he is in his mid-60's and I am in my mid-30's. We get along better now than we ever did before (same as with my Mum, they divorced when I was 12 btw). He currently lives in Wellsford and I rode up to visit him on my beloved motorsickle the other week. Well to cut a long story short, he had to go down the road to the shops and ended up reversing his car into my bike and knocking it over causing scratching to the fairing and a dent in the LH muffler...but I was more concerned with how rotten he felt about doing it than how much damaged was caused.

You were right about bikes & such possessions nudemetalz, they should never become more important than loved ones!