elephant jokes, please share.

[ducatilover]

i heard some elephant jokes today.

what do elephants use as tampons?
sheep.
whats the morale of this joke?
never wear a red sweater.

how do you catch an elephant?
sit in a bush and make peanut noises.

how do you hide an elephant in a plum tree??
paint its balls purple.

how did the monkey die?
picking plums.

a man goes to an arse doctor to seek special help. man says to the doctor, what can you do too my arse hole to make it better? [bends over and shows doctor arse]. doctor exclaims 'holy shit, what happened to you?' man replies 'i got raped by an elephant'. 'thats unusual' says the doctor, 'you arse hole is twenty cm wide where as the average elephant penis is ten cm wide.' 'yeah' says the man 'the dirty fuck fingered me first.'

[Biff]

How do you know when there's an elephant in your bed?

He has an 'E' embroidered on his pyjamas.

[Ixion]

How do you know when there's an elephant in your bed?

He has an 'E' embroidered on his pyjamas.

I don''t see how that helps. It might well be an eel, or an eland, or an echidna. No way to tell the difference, with only an 'E' to go on.

[Dadpole]

What's the biggest drawback of the jungle?

An elephant's foreskin.

[HCW]

My missus hates this one -

What did Tarzan say, when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
Here come the elephants.
What did Tarzan say, when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark sun glasses?...
Nothing... He didn't recognise them.

[Biff]

I don''t see how that helps. It might well be an eel, or an eland, or an echidna. No way to tell the difference, with only an 'E' to go on.

My stated facts are based on experience. Alledgedly.

[Biff]

What did Tarzan say, when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark sun glasses?...
Nothing... He didn't recognise them.

They obviously weren't wearing their embroidered pyjamas.

[What?]

How do you get four elephants in a mini?
2 in the front, 2 in the back.

[What?]

How do you know when there's an elephant in your bed?

He has an 'E' embroidered on his pyjamas.

Where does the elephant put his pyjamas when he gets up in the morning?
In his trunk.

[ducatilover]

They obviously weren't wearing their embroidered pyjamas.

lol

[sels1]

How do you get four elephants in a mini?
2 in the front, 2 in the back.

How do you know when there are elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini parked outside.

[marty]

My missus hates this one -

What did Tarzan say, when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
Here come the elephants.
What did Tarzan say, when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark sun glasses?...
Nothing... He didn't recognise them.

and on from that....

what should you do when an elephant comes through the window?


swim for your life!

[WRT]

How do you know when there are elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini parked outside.

How do you know when there has been elephants in your fridge?

There's foot prints in the butter.

[ducatilover]

How do you know when there are elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini parked outside.

LMFAO, man thats pretty good. i been havin a bad day me bossfelluh is being a fucktard as pernorm.

[raster]

The kids love this one...

Why do elephants paint their toenails red, yellow, green, pink & black?

So they can hide in the jellybean jar!

Have you ever seen an elephant in the jellybean jar?

No!

Well, that proves it works then!!