If you want to regularly have a pillion, then the pillion needs to be part of the testing process. My wife hated the Vstrom we tested although I thought it a great bike, she loves my/our R1200GSA.
If you have just earned your 6F I am going to assume riding 2 up is not something you have done before? I would recommend some practice 2 up in a car park with your current bike. I know its small but at least you are familiar with it. That experience also gives your pillion a frame of reference when considering your upgrade.
The extra weight makes a difference in everything about the way the bike will handle, least of all when riding at a steady speed in a straight line, so its the low speed stuff and anything NOT in a straight line you need to get a feel for.
Do some reading on 2 up riding, watch some videos (Fortnine did a good one recently) DO NOT try to figure it out as you go. Your girlfriend won't thank you and worse, someone could get hurt.
Take the bike being tested out by yourself first of all and then with the pillion. If the dealer won't give you the time to do that, go to a different dealer.
If reliability is a concern, stick with a bike from a dealer.
100,000kms is not a problem per se but remember that at that point some major parts may need replacement, brake rotors, bearings, suspension parts etc. Especially if they were rental machines. Think about it, when you rent a vehicle, do you drive it thinking about its resale value?
What you are trying to do is balance saving a couple of grand by buying a higher mileage machine against maybe 3 or 4k in major work that will not have been done as part of regular servicing. Its hard and these are worst case scenarios. Again, going with a dealer at leaves you some recourse.
The Vstrom 650 is a superb choice, a gen 2 would be better if you can afford one. Anyone selling is going to want to maximise the return on what they paid. There will always be another bike, within reason you are the one to decide what you are prepared or able to spend.
Alternatives?
F700GS, Tiger 800, Versys 650, CB500X would all be worth considering. The Tiger has a bigger motor but is still no monster.
Honda also do some adventure styled bikes which are more road focused, the NCX700/750 and the VFR800X
Later versions of the BMW F650GS are 800cc twins and tend to be looked after well.
Go ride some bikes!
Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but how many times you have your breath taken away
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