Originally Posted by
Paul in NZ
As you are all likely aware, my darling Vicki went into care on 2nd October.
It’s been a rollercoaster or emotion for us all and I miss her terribly, especially waking up on Christmas morning alone after nearly 50 years. But its also been an extraordinary learning opportunity.
I’ve been humbled and inspired by Vicki, the staff and the residents at Charles Fleming.
No one gets up one morning and thinks that it would just be a swell idea to have dementia. Everyone that’s ended up in care has arrived there after a journey and no two are the same.
These people have lost their independence, freedom, homes and contacts. Their phones and credit cards are gone and in some cases their dignity.
Yet despite the worst of adversity many (if not most) exhibit kindness and acceptance of others flaws and friendships blossom.
We have been trolling through old albums and hard drives finding pictures for Vicki which she keeps in flip books which she goes through constantly. They are a precious tohunga for her – a physical memory now that her own is failing her.
Amber and her boys visited Vicki this week. Vicki was sitting with Joy who sat with them through the visit holding Vickis hand. Joy told Amber not to worry about Vicki because she looks after her mum when shes not there... Bless her and Joy was amazed to find 3 teenagers (almost) and told Vicki – look it’s the boys from your photos… They were all the center of attention LOL…
Later the same day I went to see Vicki and we were joined by Robin and Jean and later Barbara (who is a bit more confused than usual to be fair). I took some more family pictures in for Vickis flip books and the ladies wanted to know all about them much to Vickis delight.
Being the season to be jolly it was Christmas carols time – Robin was amazing – she really did know all the lyrics and not just the first verse. I figured that I'm here physically so I may as well join the choir. It was fun not being the worst singer there for a change.
Leah (vickis dinner friend) joined us and it was hilarious. The staff were putting the chairs out for afternoon exercise and Leah was putting them all back… It was obvious the only exercise was being done by the activity's lady moving endless chairs until Leah tired of the game and sat with us.
Amber and I have taken to reading books to Vicki – Its very special. She likes books about birds and Māori legends but my Te reo pronunciation is terrible (she doesn’t seem to mind) and we nearly always attract a few extras to the reading circle which is a genuine blessing.
Not every visits like this of course – some are brutally sad.
But the good ones like today fill my bucket and teach us that even in a sadness that a little kindness makes all the difference…
Today Vicki and I were joined at our family table (xmas lunch) by Julie who didnt have a visitor for christmas lunch... She sat with us and we had a great time - Its a sad time when you cant find an extra place at Christmas lunch (especially when you dont need to cook).
Bless you all and if you can be anything in life - choose to be kind.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks