Helpful, friendly Kiwi Bikers needed

**vifferman** · 7th October 2005, 08:26

I'm in somewhat of a quandary (it's like a quarry, but has mud and spooge in the bottom, instead of rocks).
I am snowed under at work at the moment, due to being sick for a few weeks and being a slacker who spends way too much time on KB (like now, when I'm compounding my problem...)
Anyhoo, tomorrow morning, at the crack of SparrowPhart, Mac arrives from LA. I dunno much about Mac, except he's touring around some of the world, and taking his venerable VFR with him. He's just done Murka, now it's our turn.
I've volunteered to help him sort his bike (arrives Monday at Motohaus) and because I dunno what accommodation in D'Auckland is good (I'm actually a poor excuse for a D'Auck), I'm accommodating him myself.

Here's the nit of the gritty: I don't have time to be a good host to Mac, and show him some of our beautiful country. At this stage, seeing I know nowt about Mac, other than he rides a bike, I dunno what his plans are, if he knows anyone here, or what. I suspect he knows very few of the 4 millions of Kiwis or 70 millions of sheep, where to go, what to do, etc., and would greatly appreciate FriendlyFellowBikers showing him around, taking him on their favourite rides, getting him drunk, and that sort of thing.

This post is just a sort of an advanced warning so if anyone has time on their hands from Monday-ish onwards, and would be willing to ride with him, point him in the right direction, etc., they can let me know, and we'll take it from there.

When he arrives, I'll see if he wants to set himself up on here, and he can sort some stuff himself.

**Postie** · 7th October 2005, 08:40

you would have more luck if you edit the post and say Mac is a chick, change the name to Max and say she is a sex goddes from Sweeden, its only a little white lie, you'll be forgiven...........

**Paul in NZ** · 7th October 2005, 08:43

If I can get my bike back together and the parts arrive (long long story) you can send him to us and he can come across to the south island with us (prob 19th) and we can set him on his way...

**MSTRS:Me** · 7th October 2005, 08:46

Be happy to help if I can (should he come to the Bay)

**oldrider** · 7th October 2005, 08:49

Perhaps I can help. If he comes down with Paul in NZ I will meet him and see what I can do. Cheers John. PS: Won't matter if he's not a chick, oldrider is beyond the danger zone.

**vifferman** · 7th October 2005, 08:54

Originally Posted by Postie

you would have more luck if you edit the post and say Mac is a chick, change the name to Max and say she is a sex goddes from Sweeden, its only a little white lie, you'll be forgiven...........

For all I know, he/she could be.
Or maybe a kiddie-fiddler, serial murderer, Islamic terrorist masquerading as a biker...
All I know is Mac is at least literate, rides a VFR, survived Murka, and will most likely be jet-lagged. Oh yeah - and isn't super-confident about getting his bike rideable again without some help.
I plan to throw my Motorcycle Atlas of NZ at him (and buy a new one), feed and water him (choice NZ beers if he drinks beer - another unknown), give him a bed (#3 is relegated to the basement for a few nights), and just play it by ear from there.
Now if he was mechanically savvy, I'd have him installing my new Evo Star Shifter Kit, and the Electronic Speedo Adjuster, and giving the VifFerraRi a good wash'n'wax. And the laundry, vacuuming, meals, food foraging, lawns....

**ManDownUnder** · 7th October 2005, 09:10

What kind of accommodation is he/she/it expecting? Hotel, backpacker etc?

Also - how long in NZ for (or did I miss that). How long in Aucks for?

Track days, a few other events on around the place. Always good to meet someone from another part of the world... I'm sure we could find summat

MDU

**SpeedyGirl** · 7th October 2005, 09:36

I always have a spare room in ChCh for any kiwibikers that need it ...... and heaps of room in the garage

**vifferman** · 7th October 2005, 09:41

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

What kind of accommodation is he/she/it expecting? Hotel, backpacker etc?

I would think, unless he's Richard Branson's twin brother, it'd be "budget-ish".
Now, given that he decided it was more betterer to ship his bike than hire one, he's not Mac Branson, so his longish ride would consume many shekels and any money he can save on accommodation to spend on expensive tourist snares and NZ grog would be a GoodThing(TM).

Originally Posted by UnderDownMan

Also - how long in NZ for (or did I miss that). How long in Aucks for?

Umm... I missed that too. I have No-Eye Deer.

Track days, a few other events on around the place. Always good to meet someone from another part of the world... I'm sure we could find summat

I'd imagine that unless he has contacts in UnZud apart from me (unlikely, seeing as I'm his de facto pimp/organiser/host, he's making it up as he goes along, and his trip will be somewhat droney and uninteresting just riding around by hisself. Unless, of course, he's the ArchetypalLoneBiker / StrangelyWarpedAutisticLonerWhoShunsHumanContactAn d WantsToBeAlone, in which case he wouldn't have sent out his plea for HELP! in the firstest place.

**vifferman** · 7th October 2005, 09:43

Originally Posted by SpeedyGirl

I always have a spare room in ChCh for any kiwibikers that need it ...... and heaps of room in the garage

That would be good. And you still have a few days to convert your garage to a gargre before he gets DarnSarf. If indeed he's venturing over the scary and wet waters of the Cook (Dire) Straits.

**Beemer** · 7th October 2005, 10:26

Has Mac been to NZ before? We met a guy called Mac when we were hosting a fellow American called Rob Avery a few years back. Anyhow, whether or not it is the same Mac, we'd be more than happy to offer him a bed for a few nights in Levin. Plenty of garage space and even if we have to work, we could point him in the right direction of some good roads to ride.

PM me for details if he's keen. The other half will be doing the 1000 Miler the weekend after next, but depending on when he is in this area, we could still offer him a free bed and some food!

**vifferman** · 7th October 2005, 10:31

When Mac (The Knife / Clown otherwise known as Ronald / Attack) arrives and is de-jetlagged, I will attempt to coerce some details from him, and publish on here a proposed itinerararary of his doings, so people can keep an eye on him to make sure he's not blowing stuff up, eating too many of our wildlife, or scaring kiddies with his red'n'yeller clown costume.
Howzat?

**kerryg** · 7th October 2005, 11:22

Weeelll .....I'd offer to help but I don't fit the brief, sorry. Now if you were seeking someone who is the early stages of senile decrepitude, mostly drunk, cruel to small animals, hates most humans but all foreigners and especially Merkins, and can't ride a bike for shit, I might have qualified

**HDTboy** · 7th October 2005, 11:31

I can't offer him a bed, but I can offer a bit (3 weeks worth) of Rotorua Knowledge, outside of standard hours.
I'd be keen to go around East cape with him exploring

**vifferman** · 7th October 2005, 11:34

Originally Posted by kerryg

Weeelll .....I'd offer to help but I don't fit the brief, sorry. Now if you were seeking someone who is the early stages of senile decrepitude, mostly drunk, cruel to small animals, hates most humans but all foreigners and especially Merkins, and can't ride a bike for shit, I might have qualified

Oh - rereading my first post, I realised I made something most unclear.
Mac (Knife/Donald/Fiddler/Attack) is - if my feeble brain remembers correctly - from the Greatness of Britain, formerly part of the British Empah! He is not a Murkn, but decided it was better to ride across Murka than convert his VFR to a jetski.