How dumb can you get?

[riffer]

Okay, I'll try one...

When I was 17 (1984) I had a 1978 IT400 I'd bought off a mate for bugger all. Within the first week the throttle cable had snapped off where it went into the handgrip and being 17 I couldn't afford to fix the bugger.

So I learned to ride it (until my parents paid to fix it) by looping the cable at the handbar end and holding that with my finger and pulling the cable back to accelerate.

Looking back I have no idea how I managed to control it, the thing was almost unrideable!

[matthewt]

Two days after buying the MV I had put it up on the race stand in the garage to surprise my dad (ex brit bike rider). I decided to turn it around a bit so tugged the stand a bit to the right. Had a major "Oh F**K" moment when I realised I was pulling the stand OUT of the rear wheel by doing that. The bike started to lean over and I just caught it in time. Sat in the garge without moving for a few minutes after that !!

[moko]

........then there was the time i swung my leg over my XT600 in a crowded bike park and booted the nice shiny tank of the Aprilia next to me but hard,got out of there pretty quick.
All this talk of "the disc lock issue" here,dont you guys have "reminders",everyone uses them here,basically a plastic spring with a metal ring at one end that attatches to your lock and a loop at the other end that slips over your throttle,usually the`re yellow or some pukey flourescent colour.simple idea but effective,easy enough to forget your lock as you dont see it but if you dont notice a yellow plastic thing on your throttle you deserve to fall off.Before I got mine free with a mag I improvised with a keyring I bought for the equivalent of $1.50 in a market.

[Wonko]

While I was still on my learners, went for a ride up to the shops, 500 meters away, hopped of the GL 145 and thought it was very loud for some reason. Grabbed some milk and then headded out of theshop and wondered where I' put my helmet.


Spent about 15 mins trying to kick start GL 145 while running late for work, then realised that I forgotten to even put the key in.


Weekend after getting GPZ 600 R, heading up a twisty hill I'd ridden up almost daily on the GL 145. On the GL it was hard out 1st, 2nd, 3rd, first big courner. Just like on the GL, hard out on the GPZ 1st, 2nd *SHIT* courner. Up the curb, down the bank and a foot drop onto the driveway there. I lost it over the drop doing about 20, small scratches on the fairings and exhast. More damage to my pride than anything, and a cheap way to learn to respect the extra power.

[MikeL]

Celtic's post about his throttle repair reminded me of how when as a very impoverished student on my first bike, when the key somehow fell out of the ignition on the ride back from varsity, I couldn't afford the cost of a replacement and rode for weeks without a key by removing the master fuse to turn off.
Eventually sifting through my Dad's jam-jar full of old keys (why would anyone collect old keys??) I found one that fitted.. .

[PeteThePom]

Two experiences of a friend of mine back in the UK.

He bought his FJ1200 into the bike shop I worked in for a service and new front discs. I did the service and the reason for the warped front discs was due to both calipers being quite bady seized(Yam's seem to be notorious for this) he didn't have the dosh to get the front calipers overhauled, I told him that he risked warping his brand new discs if he didn't get them seen to...so off he rode anyway(doh no:1) couple weeks later bought his bike in for MOT(WOF) and I had to fail it cos both his new discs were badly warped(doh no:2)so got them replaced and the calipers overhauled this time! Off he rode again, one week later he came back in for.....? Yup a new front disc on the right as he'd managed to drive away with his disc lock on and so enthusiastic was his departure he actually bent the disc(as well as dropping the bike!) Double doh!! So in the space of a month he spent around £700 on front discs alone!!

Same guy also owned a Virago 1100, went out one winters day to collect a new set of crash bars from an accesory shop about 20 miles out of town, payed for them, strapped em onto the back of his bike and off he rode, on the way home he lost the bike on some ice going round a corner and slid down the road didnt hurt himself but the only real damage was to the brand new crash bars strapped onto his seat, the irony of the situation had me in fits for days!!

As for my list of cock ups, been riding for so long I reckon could write a book!

One of my stupidest was (very early on) fitting a new piston to my TS100 and it wouldn't start, lots of slapping noise coming from engine, had a look at old piston and compared to new piston, then noticed the +0.5 stamped on the head of the original one.....doh!

Oh and on the same bike, I spent 10mins trying to bump start it, police pulled up and asked what was wrong, told him and he looked at bike and said, you wanna try turning your fuel tap on mate' Then told me off for riding bike sans helmet and asked if I had a full license as all this happended in front of my girlfriend at the time who was holding two helmets, I said I had one and I think he chose to believe me!!!

[Zed]

Two experiences of a friend of mine back in the UK.

A friend of yours eh!

[Coldkiwi]

its a good idea Wkid but doesn't work if your mudguard is so close to the disc that any lock hits that before the caliper (like a certain yellow GSXR I know). thats how I busted it rolling backwards. but the bungee reminder works well and is now going to be a tradition for me

[moko]

years back when Mad Max came out I was riding with a gang of fellow hoodlums,actually it was a bit after the real mad,bad days.Anyhow we`d seen Mad Max the night before and were about to leave a hillclimb meeting.My mate Martin decided to show everyone how to do a donut,just like in the film,on his immaculate Z650.What he hadn`t thought of was that the guy in the film,nor anyone with an I.Q. of over double figures,wouldn`t have tried it in a field of damp grass,bloody hard work riding across it let alone arseing about.Anyway he dropped the clutch,followed by the bike and luckily got thrown from it as somehow the throttle jammed wide open as it embedded itself deep in the mud.He sat there with a wet arse nearly in tears screaming "stop it,stop it",well none of us were stupid enough to go near the thing as it pirouetted around the bar-end,that and we could hardly stand for laughing.It only lasted for probably the longest minute of that bloke`s life but was absolutely shit high,Mart was on the verge of a nervous breakdown while his good mates jumped to his aid,well about 15 minutes later when the hysterics had finally died down,we`d all stop,one would start up then back to group hilarity.luckily no damage was done to the machine apart from needing a jet-wash but boy was that man quiet for a long time after.

[Big Dog]

My stupidest moment vehicle wise was about a month after my Drivers door started locking by itself jumping out at he gas station slamming the door, coming back with ciggies and seeing my door solidly locked all the windows up............... and the engine running. Doh.

But then a freind was trying to get their license, and I was trying to talk him out of a virago. So he asked me to demo it for him as he had no license. 1/2 hour test later its been through its paces and I know what I'm going to tell him about it, so I go back. Tell him what they would need to fix before he should pay 1k less than asking. I hop off and leave him to the salesman. Well about this time Gus decides that he should be sitting on it as he talks terms. As I sit patiently in the car I see him put the kick stand up. I think this odd but well he is buying it he should at least know what it feels like. Salesman comes back with some paperwork and Gus steps off without thinking, scrabbles desperately to catch rapidly descending Virago and watches it domino about 15 bikes. Never, ever, heard him mention riding ever again.

[kasper]

The worst and most embarasing moment I ever had was when I pulled up to the Crown and Badger pub.
I had jsut cleaned up the GL145 nicely and when I pulled up I went in to get a pint. on turning around I see that my bike is still standing up right. somethings wrong I think.

Then I realise 'I never put the kick stand down.' just this minute it decides to keel over right on to the harley next to it. and the harley on to the bmw.

Oh crap. 4 pints later I ride away after not even having my own drink.

[Slim]

Then I realise 'I never put the kick stand down.' just this minute it decides to keel over right on to the harley next to it. and the harley on to the bmw.

That BMW wasn't owned by a bloke called Rick was it???

[kasper]

I am not sure but he rode a black bike with full hard lugage set most likely touring

[wari]

Scene .... bike at the bottom of mates driveway, which is about 20 mtrs long at what seems like a 45 degree gradient, a fence on one side and a drop on the other.

I'm about to leave on my xs400 knowing full well it has to start first time as the battery is a bit dodgey eh.

wrrrrrr wrrrrrr wrrr wr w .... no go ... kill switch was on fckt ... flicked it to run.

Took a run at the driveway and got almost to the top ... gingerly turned the bike around , down we go ... good speed ... bib bib bib bib bib bib bibbbb ... keys not on

Key on ... up I go again, didnt get quite so far this time ...
bib bib bib bib bib bib bibbbb ... key on petrol on ... normally starts easy.

Went up and down that driveway another 3 or 4 times getting up a little less each time ... I did work out tho that zig zagging up meant I didn't need as much speed and I only had to stop coz of the pain in the legs and shortness of breath ... was getting mighty hot too just quietly.

Thought I'd take a rest ... and notice the kill switch was BACK ON !!! ... I must've bumped in im my exertions up the d/way

Started next time ...

[wari]

Was a school caretaker for a while at a primary school. One of the pleasures of the job was unblocking the S traps under the classroom sinks.

Had one to do that had paint brushes and pensils broken up down past the plug, needed to be pulled apart . I carefully undid the S trap trying not to spill the water in it.

Looking around ... I didn't have a bucket to tip the water into ... I know I'll pour in down the sink ! ... :eyepoke: