How dumb can you get?

**Milky** · 16th February 2004, 21:04

I havent had too many on motorcycles, apart from forgetting to turn the petrol on, pushing bike off main stand with chain aroud rear wheel - at least i didnt try to ride off... the ubiquitous stalling when i was on my learners infront of friends

The worst thing i have done is on a pushbike going to school.... I was riding down a straight, about 400m long i guess. It was a real cold morning so i was tucking myself up small to avoid all the cold air, but one unfortunate side effect was that i wasnt paying as much attention to the road as i should have been.... there was a parked car near the end of the straight with it's boot up and i went straight into it :s must of been doing bout 30-35kmh at the time, cos the helmet was a writeoff and my front forks bent back past the frame.

**Big Dog** · 17th February 2004, 17:47

Showing off to the girl of the day on a push bike.... at the end of a 30m catwalk into a stall on the back wheel. Gave it a bit a bit of a tug (on thre handlebars you dirty mongrels), for balance. Handle bars smack me in the mouth & slice leg open on my newly F*^%ed forks. Funnily enough since then it has been difficult to keep it up (my front wheel YDM).

**wkid_one** · 17th February 2004, 17:54

Originally Posted by Big Dog

Showing off to the girl of the day on a push bike.... at the end of a 30m catwalk into a stall on the back wheel. Gave it a bit a bit of a tug (on thre handlebars you dirty mongrels), for balance. Handle bars smack me in the mouth & slice leg open on my newly F*^%ed forks. Funnily enough since then it has been difficult to keep it up (my front wheel YDM).

You destroyed all the fun that could have been had with that post.....

**aff-man** · 24th February 2004, 08:12

Hmmm well i havn't done to many stupid things but here are a few
- getting worried why the bike kept stalling when trying to put it in the garage and then realising it dies if you let the clutch out with the stand down. Good waste of 30 mins.
- leaving bike running due to flat battery and going to speak to my mates dad about the bike. My mate thinking he could ride goes ,and when i was out of sight, crashes into his neighbours car.
- slipped on some wet pine needles and had to watch my baby go sliding up the driveway while i was sliding down.
- crashing twice in the first two weeks of riding.
- riding around with high beams on for a few days pissing off cage drivers because my headlight had blown.
and that's about it

**riffer** · 24th February 2004, 08:24

Originally Posted by Milky

... there was a parked car near the end of the straight with it's boot up and i went straight into it :s must of been doing bout 30-35kmh at the time, cos the helmet was a writeoff and my front forks bent back past the frame.

LOL - I've done exactly the same thing myself!

**Kwaka-Kid** · 24th February 2004, 15:07

nearly did that umpteen times on my cb250! far out, who knows what i was concentrating on.. but i looked up and SHIT major change in line on road. craped myself everytime.

**Jackrat** · 24th February 2004, 16:17

Me mate Dean buys a 75 CB750 Honda rolling frame complete less engine.
He also buys an engine from another CB 750 that has a 850 Yoshi kit in is.
So da'boys gather round Deans place on a Saturday an we put the 850 into the frame an hook every thing up.At one stage Dean is heard to say something along the lines of "thats a bit loose" Dean had just hooked up the oil line to the engine an seeing as how Da'boys had only just met Dean we didn't think nothing of it.Anyway it's looking good an after idling in the shed for a few minites Dean decides to take it for a spin.Half an hour later Da'boys are sitting having a beer or ten an Dean comes walking up the road,,NO BIKE.
He's looking very much the worse for wear an after a few questions we find out the oil lines come off dumping ALL the oil over the rear wheel half way round a corner.It seems the oil line fitting on the yoshi motor was smaller than the original Honda one but Dean being Dean hadn't thought it mattered
at the time.Anyway it went down hard on the left side and totaled the cases.
Last time I saw that bike it was still gathering dust in Deans shed.

**James Deuce** · 24th February 2004, 16:53

Buy my 1st bike (Kawasaki CSR250 - like a GN250 only with 50% more HP and drum front brake) and wife decides she wants a ride on the back (still on provisional license). Go to stop at lights and lever comes back to bar. Veer left into handy sidestreet. Get stopped by cop round corner for running red light. Sweet talk way out of ticket. Knock bike off stand when I go to get back on.

Buy RG250. Love RG250 to bits. Paint gets scrappy (too much grinding of fairing on ground - mental note: must lose weight). Send off to painters for respray and new decals. Tempt gods to punish me for vanity. Gods punish me for vanity by running me over with a truck two weeks after getting bike back.

Buy RG400 while still on restricted. Take wife on back on a bike club poker run. Fall off on diesel and give wife bi-malleolar fracture of left ankle. Ban wife from ever going on the back again.

Sell RG400. Buy GSXR250 new. Tempt gods to punish me for thinking I am a smarty pants for owning a new bike. Love GSXR250 to bits. Go to mate's sister's place for tea, he on his KR-1, me on my GSXR. Sidestand sinks into damp lawn whilst scoffing lovely dinner. Gods punish me by breaking left mirror off.

Sell GSXR250(edit - extra 0 was to be removed but that would spoil Big Dog's post)0 - full license at last - Yay! Buy VFR400R. Love VFR to bits. Go to Castlepoint for holidays. Clean bike after 1 week of incessant fanging around deserted roads. Lift bike up off stand while crouching down to clean underside of fairing. Side stand folds up bike falls on me. Mother-in-law lifts bike of me with one hand and cuffs me round the ear with the other. Perhaps the Mother-in-law is one of these "gods".

Trade VFR in. Wife manages to trade VFR for $1k more than I paid for it on an RC30 and talk RC30 down $2k from shop floor price. Love RC30 to bits. Get swelled head about owning road legal superbike. Do lots of track days. Start thinking I'm quick. Tempt gods to punish me for lacking humility. Enter F1 race. Fall off on 2nd lap because right footpeg digs into tarmac, levers back wheel off the ground, then snaps off. Low side at 160km/hr exiting Coke at Manfield. Gods punish me by letting me think it is safe to stand up whilst sliding at 60km/hr. Also have learning experience that I can't run that fast. Batter self senseless in resulting stop, drop, and roll. Do $2K of damage to bike. Wife says no more racing because I wasted her negotiating skills tempting the gods.

**Big Dog** · 24th February 2004, 18:11

Originally Posted by Jim2

Sell GSXR2500 -.

The rest had me laughing like scoobie after a doobie.

**Jackrat** · 24th February 2004, 18:14

Brought me a TR6R Triumph Tiger,She had Bonnie head and bonnie cams an went like shit off a stick when I could keep her in tune,which was a bit of a mission as none of the timing marks ment a thing.Anyway the battery goes flat on me at work,So I call out the jump start truck that is kept on sight just for these type of things.We hook her up an I give her a kick,choise fires up first try,BUT there is a crackling noise an the next thing I know me lovely Tiger is burning to the ground in front of me.And all the flapping around like a fish out of water helps not at all,The guy from the jump start truck has done a runner an I burn the shit out of my hands trying to disconnect the jumper cables.Still got a few faint scars from that but never mind,all part of the learning curve huh!.So after repairing the Tiger I buy a standard Bonnieville,
More reliable ya' see

**Kwaka-Kid** · 24th February 2004, 21:19

Jim2 matey that write up is just crazy! im cracking up here, sorry to say, but man its funny!

**Zed** · 6th March 2004, 09:56

Last night I was coming off the motorway at Upper Harbour Drive, Auckland, and as I cruised down the hill to the intersection I took my hands off the grips to stretch (as I do), when I applied my rear brake to begin slowing down I got the speed wobbles and quickly grabbed the grips again...well at this point the engine just stopped and wouldn't even jump start as I continued down towards the intersection, so thinking quick I pulled up on to the pathway to let traffic behind me pass! Scratching my head for a few seconds I noticed that I had flicked the stop button to the off position by accident when I grabbed hold of the grips during my speed wobble...lol, I was on my way again laughing!

Zed

**Skyryder** · 6th March 2004, 21:00

Seems to me Andrew you are spinning a yarn here. If you are for real I'd stop riding. One day your luck is going to run out.

Skyryder

**Zed** · 6th March 2004, 21:21

Originally Posted by Skyryder

...If you are for real I'd stop riding. One day your luck is going to run out.Skyryder

Nah, noone likes a quitter!

We all make our fair share of mistakes and should learn from them, Andrew is just having a bad run that's all...learning the hard way!

Zed

**Andrew** · 6th March 2004, 21:22

Originally Posted by Skyryder

Seems to me Andrew you are spinning a yarn here. If you are for real I'd stop riding. One day your luck is going to run out.

Skyryder

No just being too honest for my own good. And no I'm not going to give up bikes. I take the chances and if I die, well at least I died happy. Thats not an invitation for you to come and wipe me off the road though.

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