Diet Santa

[speedpro]

Dad was in the local angling club. At their family Christmas doo at Oringi the lollies were dropped from a Fletcher top dressing plane. Woohoo - 60mph lollies. Great fun.

[idb]

Maybe they'll relent and let them throw marshmallows next year.

[sunhuntin]

finally, like minded dangers to society!!!!

[avgas]

fuck em....now i want to go throw lollies at people

[ducatilover]

Maybe they'll relent and let them throw marshmallows next year.

meh you can trip over those....

[Wolf]

Maybe they'll relent and let them throw marshmallows next year.

But, but....

marshmallows are so popular people will be trampled to death in the mad rush to get them and the survivors will choke frantically scoffing them down and those that don't will catch some dreadful disease from eating lolllies that've been on the ground and...

Please won't somebody protect us from all the dreadful hazards of being alive...

Next, breathing will be outlawed owing to all the inherent risks and while they're at it they can ban life itself because there's pretty convincing evidence that all cases of life will end in the death of those afflicted - so many billions of people who had life have died and the prognosis is not good for all those who still have life...

[Aitch]

Not the metnion the resource consent, traffic management plan, crowd control measures etc etc etc. Costs many thousand of dollars in unproductive beauraucratic bullshit to run a parade the same way that it's been run safely without the red tape for years and years....

Wiat till they make us call it the "Holidays Parade" (Cos Muslims might be offended if we call it Christmas)
(Not that Joe Muslim gives a hoot....but tree hugging white snivelling whimps think they should be!)

[Wolf]

Wiat till they make us call it the "Holidays Parade" (Cos Muslims might be offended if we call it Christmas)
(Not that Joe Muslim gives a hoot....but tree hugging white snivelling whimps think they should be!)

My cousin has Spastic Cerebral Palsy and gets really irate with all these able-bodied people running around the place making rules and getting fired up about what they think she should be upset about.

We have tons of fun with the PC wankers: cousin rolling down the footpath in her mobility scooter and I yell out "Ya fuckin' maniac get that fucking thing off the footpath" - we both note all the filthy looks I get from the PC brigade for being so unfeeling towards a poor wee defenseless cripple in her mobility chair. Then we exchange greetings and watch all the "Oh, she knows him and she's not upset" looks. We have seen people who looked as though they were going to have a piece of me before they realised we knew each other.

I just "love" the condecending bigotry of PC people - the belief they have that disabled people or moslems or whatever cannot defend themselves if they feel put upon, so rules have to be passed and PC Nazis have to leap into the fray to protect the poor, help(use)less, [minority] from all those nasty un-PC scumbags (like me). And let's even protect them from nasty terms like "lame", "deaf", "blind" "crippled" and "disabled" because we think they should be offended by these terms, let us instead mince words and come up with Politically Correct Terms like "Differently Able" to sheild the poor people from those nasty words.

I'm deaf in one ear. This means I cannot enjoy stereo - all sounds come from one side so if I'm wearing headphones I can only hear one channel and although I can hear both channels through normal speakers I cannot tell which speaker the sound is coming from. I also cannot determine where a sound is coming from unless I can see the source - as all sound enters through one ear, I do not get the differentiation that most people get that would tell me whether the source is to the left or right.

In that respect, I am disabled. I have a great ear for music (literally just the one), I enjoy music (for all I can't hear the separation of channels or tell (without looking) which side of the stage the drummer is on), and I can hear well enough that under most conditions I have no difficulty hearing a conversation (unless I have a loud noise or white noise in my "good" ear or the person is standing on my deaf side and talking too softly or indistinctly - in which case I partially lip read).

A note for any PC ARSEHOLES that might locate this thread whilst googling for un-PC scum to feel superior to:

I am NOT "Differently Able" you condescending little twats! I have no abilities outside of human possibility - I do not fly by waggling my ears, I do not walk through solid walls, turn invisible, bounce bullets off my chest or run fast enough to suck the air in the room into a vortex. Those would be "different" abilities. I have a disability - I live with it. Sometimes it's annoying or inconvenient (like not being able to listen to music privately through headphones or not knowing where "here" is (as in "I'm over here!"), but for the most part, I get by - probably better than many disabled people out there.

I do not need to be protected from the nasty "able-bodied people" out there, I do not need a condescending don't-let-the-poor-bugger-know-he's-missing-out-on-something term like "Differently Able" to protect me from useful descriptive words such as "deaf" which are near-universally known and understood and are handy for conveying useful information such as "Don't stand on that side of me and mumble, I'm deaf in that ear."

"I'm differently able in that ear" is likely to leave people wondering which inhuman power that ear possesses (frequency range of a dog, radio signal reception, sight...). "Don't stand on that side of me as I am differently able in that ear." ("Oh, Christ, he can fire poisonous darts from his ear and I'm in mortal danger!")

I am quite capable, on my own part, of telling someone to fuck off if they give me grief about something - I'm deaf in one ear, not fucking clinically wimpy!

Likewise, I do not need to be protected from airborne lollies at a Christmas (Sorry, "Summer") Parade.

[Lou Girardin]

So you're aurally challenged then?

[Wolf]

So you're aurally challenged then?

Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!



You'll have to speak up - not because of my hearing but because it's hard to understand a person when they're talking with tongue firmly implanted in cheek...

I'm certainly not "Orally Challenged" - they can't get me to STFU!

I talk and laugh loudly and mum was forever apologising on my behalf and explaining that because of being deaf in one ear I can't hear how loud I am - which is bollocks... I can hear myself fine.

My hearing in my "good" ear is actually a tad more acute than average (well, it was when I last had it tested but I'm getting older now so maybe that's changed.) I just grew up in a family where you had to talk over everyone else to be heard (but you wouldn't catch my parents admitting that) and I tend to lose control of volume when I get "animated" about a topic (or hear a really good joke.) I can actually talk softly when I am mindful of it but my loudness is more (bad?) habit than anything.

[Highlander]

I think this about sums it up...

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...576#post434576

[idb]

Thank you Wolf, I can at last come out of the closet.
Despite what my Mum says, I'm short, fat, bald & ugly.
I feel liberated!!!!!!

Great post BTW!

[Colapop]

I'm disabled too!! I am a white middle aged (?) male, I have a job and a wife and two teenage kids. I'm of average height and build. I'm disabled!!
What's that? How?
Well, I don't get family assistance, because my wife works - so we're rich. I don't have a mobility scooter 'coz I can walk. I don't get free drugs 'coz I'm not a recovering drug addict. I can hear, see, talk, and feel fine. There's virtually nothing wrong with me.
I'm in the minority. I am disabled by a government that accepts all this PC bullsh*t! I have no problem helping those people that need it, just a problem 'helping' those people who expect it coz they don't want to help themselves.

[bigbadwolf]

it's all OSH's fault. bunch of wankers. every job i've had, theres a huge form and video and a whole lot of other bullshit saying that i cant go near paper in case i get a paper cut, have to wear a jersey in the freezer in case i start to shiver, not allowed to walk too fast in case i fall over. these people don't have the balls to live in the real world!

[Wolf]

I think this about sums it up...

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...576#post434576

Yep!

Glory days. It wasn't all harmless though - I remember reading of a girl who was terribly injured by a skyrocket fired at her, bazooka-style, out of a vacuum cleaner pipe...

but there were less deaths and injuries reported back then (in a time when deaths and spectacular injuries were rare enough to make Page 1 rather than murders being relegated to page 7 while extremely rare stuff like politicians actually making sense gets the front page...)