Ten Greatest. . . Weapons -TV last night

[F5 Dave]

Well in a similar vein to the Ten Greatest Motorcycle programme that took so much flack, this one was about weapons.

OK so they started with I think a PWK39, hold on that’s a carb on my GasGas, sorry I’m not up with shooty things, maybe it was a PK something, the small gun that James Bond uses. So that has some cool factor. So then they had these American wimin firing them & some butch chick going, well size does matter & “I guess it would be ok as a backup gun”.
Lady -your country is in a lot of trouble.

So they carry on with Pikes & Boomerangs, they are all technological breakthroughs & have had huge impacts, but we are getting closer to the no. 1 spot rather quickly. A47 kalashnikov was ~ 2nd which is a pretty cool weapon for ease of use & manufacturability. Changed the world. Wondering if they were going to mention the Automobile, after all with minimal training these have killed more than any singular war.

But then, in the no. one spot they were touting WuTang & this Martial art dude teaching these nuns how to do some simple moves then finishes by breaking some fairly impressive bits of wood but their turn they get thin grainy bits that I bet they could have broken before.

The premise of the program was; a great weapon has to be effective & ideally not be too complex so anyone can use it with minimal training. They said the human mind is the greatest weapon. Well no, you have to know how to use it & without weapons Sabre tooth tigers used to think we were tasty treats.

I’m pretty sure any turkey with a handgun could work out how to kill a WangChung Grand Master if he started from far enough back. (Found this on the web http://www.wangchung.com/ hahaha)


Anyways, the point is, all this time I’m thinking; Well shit man -you can have all that crap --- & I choose an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile with a dirty great Nuclear Warhead thanks. I’ll kick your scrawny ass from another country. Heck while I’m about it I’ll mount it in a starwars programme satellite so you won't see it coming till it's too late. There's no near misses with Farts or Nuclear weapons. I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be the president of America going on observation of the current one & I'm pushing buttons right now so I have all the training I need to fire one of these things.

Talking of starwars - I’ll have a Death Star. Now that has to be the coolest Weapon of all time. I’ll fill in that silly trench & vent the exhaust gasses somewhere else & it’ll be Sa-wweet!

Now it’s time to crush those puny rebels & rule the galaxy. Bwahahaha!

[WRT]

Nope, they were closer with the human mind. Actaully, the greatest weapon in the world is my eyes, and I'll tell you why. Ok, so the death star can make a whole planet disappear, but when I close my eyes, not only planets, but the whole damn shooting match, galaxies, solar systems, death star and all - disappear! Right before my very eyes! Or not! Err . . . hang on . . .

Oh, dear, I can feel another one of those migraines coming on. Where's my little blue pills?

[F5 Dave]

Like that light in the fridge? Are you sure it's off now? Was on when the door was open. hmmm. . .

[WRT]

Like that light in the fridge? Are you sure it's off now? Was on when the door was open. hmmm. . .

Jeez mate, where did you go to school?? Everybody knows that the light in fridges runs off darkness. You have to open the door on the fridge to let the darkness in before the light will work. Thats why they arent very bright on sunny days, but in the middle of the night they are downright blinding!

[F5 Dave]

But hold on, if you were actually in the fridge & closed the door it would be totally dark inside so the light would work, really quite brightly, but then the light would make it not dark & you might be trapped in some sort of otherworldly space time continuum loop. Space is cold. Is that how fridges work?

How 'bout you take out a few shelves & jump in, tell us how it goes.
& what it's like on the other side of the mirror?

[Pixie]

# 1.....Nuns

[WRT]

& what it's like on the other side of the mirror?

I keep asking, but the guy in the mirror seems to talk really quietly, he's very hard to understand. Good looking, but shy perhaps?

Wonder if you drove your bike into a fridge if you could use that time/space continum thingymajig to make your bike go warp speed? You want to loan me your bike and a really big fridge so I can try it out?

[Pixie]

without weapons Sabre tooth tigers used to think we were tasty treats.

This is a myth....they use to hate the way we got stuck in their teeth

[SixPackBack]

Like that light in the fridge? Are you sure it's off now? Was on when the door was open. hmmm. . .

Ask schrodinger's cat grasshopper!

[Pixie]

Nope, they were closer with the human mind. Actaully, the greatest weapon in the world is my eyes, and I'll tell you why. Ok, so the death star can make a whole planet disappear, but when I close my eyes, not only planets, but the whole damn shooting match, galaxies, solar systems, death star and all - disappear! Right before my very eyes! Or not! Err . . . hang on . . .

Oh, dear, I can feel another one of those migraines coming on. Where's my little blue pills?

Solipsist

[WRT]

Solipsist

Who said that? Is there someone else in here? Who are you and where did you come from?

Just you wait, I've seen Nothing, and been taking notes, so if I just concentrate like so and . . . . bzzurpt . . . ahh, thats better, alone again . . .

[NordieBoy]

Ask schrodinger's cat grasshopper!

Stupid name for a cat.

[Ixion]

Ask schrodinger's cat grasshopper!

Arggghhhh ! I *HATE* that damn cat

[TwoSeven]

I thought the cat was called albert, not grasshopper

[F5 Dave]

Arggghhhh ! I *HATE* that damn cat

Obviously so did Schrodinger. Gee, what has the cat ever done to him? Maybe he would have been better to give it some fish & a place in front of the fireplace to sleep. Ahhh. Purr Pushycat. - I’m sure that would have relaxed this Schrodinger chap far more than taking his sadistic frustrations upon a small furry animal. Should have taken example of Ivan Pavlov, his dog was better cared for.

Bloody scientists. Too nerdy to ‘get any’ so they spend their time trying to inflict means of mass destruction or at least general unpleasantness on the rest of the populace.