Question of "Not being allowed to"

**Ms Piggy** · 24th April 2004, 09:23

Well since I started on my wonderful journey into the world of 2 wheels I've met somne fabulous people

However I've also met a few men who have said "I'd love another bike but my wife/partner/girlfriend 'won't let me'"

I find this a really interesting comment and just wondered why anyone would wanna be with or get involved with someone who wouldn't give them the freedom to do something they love so much. I know there's lots of different reasons but, for me personally if I ever met a guy who said he 'wouldn't let me ride' my response would be to hop on my bike & ride away as fast as I could!

**DeanOh** · 24th April 2004, 09:38

For me its not that she wont let me ride, in fact she's keen to get a helmet and 2-up. But im not allowed at this moment to spend money on a new/better bike. Like she says, "you will get a new bike, and then 6 mths later you will want something else, and whats wrong with wat you have ?".
Plus its hard to argue with the fact we have to spend cash for other things, like our impending wedding.

Priorities...new bike is low down at the moment. dammit.

**wkid_one** · 24th April 2004, 09:38

Originally Posted by Celtic_Sea_lily

ride away as fast as I could!

Within the confines of NZ speeding laws of course???

**DEATH_INC.** · 24th April 2004, 09:44

Got a good mate like that.sold his bike to pay for stuff and isn't allowed another......at least for now.Been married for quite a few years,kids,mortage ect,pretty hard to walk (run) away from.......

**James Deuce** · 24th April 2004, 11:05

The "not allowed" thing is bollocks. Either the wife is a harridan, or the bloke has "no balls".

Marriage is a supportive environment, not a prison of diminishing returns and antagonistic rules.

My wife, Heather, always gives other women who "won't let" their husband do something a very hard time. Been around long enough to learn that this goes both ways too, and met a few blokes who won't let their wife participate in something outside their ken.

If we disagree on something we discuss it, we don't just dismiss it out of hand.

**James Deuce** · 24th April 2004, 11:06

Originally Posted by DeanOh

For me its not that she wont let me ride, in fact she's keen to get a helmet and 2-up. But im not allowed at this moment to spend money on a new/better bike. Like she says, "you will get a new bike, and then 6 mths later you will want something else, and whats wrong with wat you have ?".
Plus its hard to argue with the fact we have to spend cash for other things, like our impending wedding.

Priorities...new bike is low down at the moment. dammit.

Your bike is 2 years old!

This sounds like healthy compromise, not total denial.

**Ghost Lemur** · 24th April 2004, 11:34

Originally Posted by Jim2

The "not allowed" thing is bollocks. Either the wife is a harridan, or the bloke has "no balls".

Marriage is a supportive environment, not a prison of diminishing returns and antagonistic rules.

My wife, Heather, always gives other women who "won't let" their husband do something a very hard time. Been around long enough to learn that this goes both ways too, and met a few blokes who won't let their wife participate in something outside their ken.

If we disagree on something we discuss it, we don't just dismiss it out of hand.

I agree. My girlfriend wasn't keen on the idea of me getting a motorbike to start with. Understandable concerns like leaving my son's without a father, etc. But instead of dismissing my desires out of hand, we discussed it and laid some of her fears to rest. Of course to a certain degree her fears are justified, but life is fragile and uncertain anyway. All we can do is make educated desisions and protect ourselves as much as possible (wearing leathers etc).

Communication, understanding and willingness to compromise are all that's needed.

As for those who say "oh I'd love to get a bike but the missus wont let me", you'll find can be fitted into one of two categories. 1. They don't really want a bike and it's a cop out. 2. They're spineless kissass.

**Big Dog** · 24th April 2004, 12:28

Originally Posted by Ghost Lemur

As for those who say "oh I'd love to get a bike but the missus wont let me", you'll find can be fitted into one of two categories. 1. They don't really want a bike and it's a cop out. 2. They're spineless kissass.

Total agreement here.

I have sold my bike for my kids before, but no woman that cannot respect my judgement is worthy of a major lifestyle change. If any woman told me it's me or it's the bike I would pack her bags for her.

I would only grow to hate her and end up leaving her anyway, so why not keep the bike and savew a few days.

**SpankMe** · 24th April 2004, 12:30

I've had to say thanks, but no thanks to a couple of girlfriends that just did not want to get on the bike.

Love me, love the bike.

**Big Dog** · 24th April 2004, 12:39

They don't have to like the pillion seat or ride themselves but they MUST not begrudge me my bike.

**Ms Piggy** · 24th April 2004, 12:39

Originally Posted by wkid_one

Within the confines of NZ speeding laws of course???

Of course! And I'd have to get all my gear on 1st so I don't think it wouldn't quite have the dramatic impact I'd hope for!

**mangell6** · 24th April 2004, 13:15

Originally Posted by Ghost Lemur

Communication, understanding and willingness to compromise are all that's needed.

As for those who say "oh I'd love to get a bike but the missus wont let me", you'll find can be fitted into one of two categories. 1. They don't really want a bike and it's a cop out. 2. They're spineless kissass.

Well said GL. Currently I am the one who is stopping us (read me) from progressing on the bike front. However it doesn't stop my wife, of twenty five years, from going and playing in an open squash tournament this weekend nor riding her own bike to Napier and back (two weeks ago). She just wants to know where I will be going riding.

Mike

**Jackrat** · 24th April 2004, 14:19

Amazing what some dudes will do for poontang huh!!

Known a couple of guys that married horrible critters that tryed that on.Nether marrige lasted long.
Not aloud doe'st make for good marriges.

**What?** · 24th April 2004, 19:04

Originally Posted by Big Dog

They don't have to like the pillion seat or ride themselves but they MUST not begrudge me my bike.

Egg Zactly.
I had four bikes in the shed when I met the now Mrs What?, and I still have four bikes in the shed. Likewise, Mrs What? has hobbies that I do not participate in. It's called space - something every good marriage needs some of.

**FROSTY:Me** · 24th April 2004, 19:15

Since baby bikie came along I refused to carry my (now ex ) wife on the bike with me.
We used to go on the bike a lot together and she doesn't ride.
My thinking is that if I have a big off my son is without 2 parents not just one.
Very fatalistic I know but hey reality is reality.