Question of "Not being allowed to"

[Zed]

= She who is along for the ride.
+ She who makes the ride more fun.
+ She who makes decisions that affect us both.
+ She who accepts I will do the same. :sly:
+ She who shares responsibility for our wellbeing.
+ She who will be my pillion for the rest of the journey werever it may take us.

Have you married your pillion Big Dog?

[Coldkiwi]

For me its not that she wont let me ride, in fact she's keen to get a helmet and 2-up. But im not allowed at this moment to spend money on a new/better bike. Like she says, "you will get a new bike, and then 6 mths later you will want something else, and whats wrong with wat you have ?".
Plus its hard to argue with the fact we have to spend cash for other things, like our impending wedding.
Priorities...new bike is low down at the moment. dammit.

hehe, sorry to shuckle at your expense, but this is partially why i was keen to get my GSXR before i got engaged... you just never know

[jrandom]

Which is the the bloke being just as disrespectful to the wife, as the wife was to the husband, in the original premise of "not allowed". What a nice thing to do. Tell lies about the person you love, that make them look like an evil ogre because you'e too chicken to say you can't afford to buy a bike.

Some guys *do* use the "not allowed" thing as a copout. In my experience it's been because they simply fear or dislike the idea of riding a bike, or whatever it may be, and don't want to appear... what? Wimpy? I dunno. You know what I mean. It's rather sad, and it usually seems to be the vaguely unhappy types that have never forged any real inner existence for themselves.

due to infertility issues ended up costing about $25k per kid

Jeepers! Respect. And I thought *we* had it bad, getting pregnant unintentionally (no bad jokes about this please) three months after #1 was born, at a point where we were convinced that we couldn't afford any less than a 5 year gap between kids.

My wife doesn't like riding or pillioning on bikes.

As is probably usual, we know about, oh, ten or so guys that died on bikes, some closer to us than others. My wife is pretty twitchy about the subject. After my recent head injury, I did what the doctors tole me to (not my usual style) and stopped riding for a couple of weeks, mainly out of respect for her concerns. It's all about give-and-take.

In my case, I wasn't riding a motorcycle when we got married, so I can hardly argue that she's trying to change or control me if she doesn't like the bike. Fair's fair. Fortunately she's happy enough to live with it, although recent comments re. stunting indicate that I may not get much sympathy if I fall off...

[scumdog]

I'm lucky, Mrs Scumdog likes 'bikes and the lifestyle and makes a damn good pillion ( and has her full 6 licence).
Also likes the hot rod/street machine scene so she is absolutely no help in controlling my spending on wheels - mind you I like the wine she buys so I call that a fair balance
If you get the perfect woman (like I did) more power to you, if the only chink in her personality is the "I'd rather you didn't ride" well, I guess you would have to figure a way around it.
celticno6, Sorry to hear your woes, been down that road, can be tough getting over it and if the split is final you end up with "baggage" you never knew you had and it takes time to get over it (I can't tell you how much time, it's been 5 years for me and I ain't there yet

[Hitcher]

Jeepers! Respect. And I thought *we* had it bad, getting pregnant unintentionally (no bad jokes about this please) three months after #1 was born, at a point where we were convinced that we couldn't afford any less than a 5 year gap between kids.

I discovered a term the other day "Irish twins" used to describe siblings born in the same calendar year!

[jrandom]

I discovered a term the other day "Irish twins" used to describe siblings born in the same calendar year!

Ah, we didn't quite manage THAT, but they *were* born 363 days apart. Birthdays on the 18th and 16th of the same month.

[James Deuce]

Ah, we didn't quite manage THAT, but they *were* born 363 days apart. Birthdays on the 18th and 16th of the same month.

Holy crap! Respect to thee brother!

Thanks for your comments above - funny thing is after all the hassle and indignity we eventually conceived both kids naturally after making a decision to give up on the process. Funny how stress can affect things.

[SPman]

If anyone gives me a ultimatum they don't care about me only the image of me that they have created for themselves. - Yep

I sold my bike for the kids once and would again. Yep - me too

I would sell it to fund an op for my pillion or some other such threat. - Yep, if I had a pillion

I will not today or ever sell a motorcycle, or other asset for that matter, just because someone else told me to. - Not without a VERY good reason

Life and love are about compromise not domination, to me, and that is more important than my bike. - hmmmmmm - maybe

We can but live our life to the best of our ability,but you have to control your own life - having someone else control it is not living!

[Ghost Lemur]

Ah, we didn't quite manage THAT, but they *were* born 363 days apart. Birthdays on the 18th and 16th of the same month.

hehe.. My son's were born on the 27th and 26th of the same month. If Sebastian (youngest) had of waited 9:45 hours they would have been exactly a year apart.

[Zed]

...you have to control your own life - having someone else control it is not living!

Excluding childhood and old age years when others control our lives, one might have approx. 50yrs where they have the liberty to be in control of their own life...but from what I have experienced, many a person when given such liberty is more out of control at times!

Take away the various authorities in our lives that are in "control" and things would get much worse in our society and world.


Zed

[FzerozeroT]

But you do need the illusion of control. Otherwise you don't feel like you have any power to change your life and so why get out of bed?
Society would be even worse off with more control.

Education, not control.

[celticyankee]

Celtic Sea Lily, good question, one I've asked meself without really finding an answer that made sense to me...........

[Zed]

Society would be even worse off with more control.

Agreed...and there is MUCH more control coming- you mark my words. You guys in gun circles should know what I'm talking about!


Zed said it 26/4/04

[riffer]

celticno6, Sorry to hear your woes, been down that road, can be tough getting over it and if the split is final you end up with "baggage" you never knew you had and it takes time to get over it (I can't tell you how much time, it's been 5 years for me and I ain't there yet

Thanks scumdog. I'm happy to report that due to a lot of talking and stuff (unmentionable) I'm now back at home and we're looking forward to sorting a whole load of stuff out.

Not quite ready to give up on marriage number 2 just yet!

[claire]

I'm in total agreeance with Mrs Scumdog. In our house we have both motorbikes & street machines & a pre 49 is on the cards in the future. Makes it a lot easier if your both into the same things when it comes to bikes & cars. I've met a lot of woman who can't understand why their husbands can get excited over the latest mod to their car believe me. (Must order those lake pipes for my car!!!)

When people say they are "not allowed" to do something its a pretty poor excuse don't you think. If you want something bad enough you'll get it eventually & its a pretty selfish person who would stand in your way.