Question of "Not being allowed to"

**Ghost Lemur** · 26th April 2004, 19:45

Originally Posted by celticno6

Thanks scumdog. I'm happy to report that due to a lot of talking and stuff (unmentionable) I'm now back at home and we're looking forward to sorting a whole load of stuff out.

Not quite ready to give up on marriage number 2 just yet!

Good to hear things are being worked out. A friend of mine is in a similar position, he did something (doesn't matter what) and was kicked out. Thankfully, him and his wife are still talking, and working on it. They haven't got to the stage where he's back at home yet, but that's only a matter of time if they keep up the communicating.

It is a perfect illustration of how a marriage (or any relationship for that matter) works. Obviously there has had to be comprimises and a willingness to understand the others pov on both sides. If one of you hadn't been willing to do that then there is no way things could be worked out.

The same goes for ultimatums/demands. One sides is saying I don't care enough to try and understand, here's what I want to happen, take it or leave it. To me that says they don't want to be with you in the first place. They're either trying to push you away, or, are only interested in the person you "could" be if you do exactly as they want.

I have generally found that people like that (both women and men) are never happy, and can never have a substantial relationship. They are always pushing to the point where either the other person leaves or they get bored of molding you and move onto someone else.

Damn I'm in a ranty mood.

**riffer** · 27th April 2004, 14:12

Originally Posted by Ghost Lemur

Good to hear things are being worked out.

Thanks for the kind words mate.

Both Gini and I are incredibly passionate, creative people, with the capacity to completely go off the deep end at times, particularly when we decide to ignore doctors advice on certain things I don't (and won't) go into here...

Suffice to say, we're now following doctor's advice, and looking after each other now.

BTW we went for a ride today on the bike. First time for Gini on the back of the bike. Kind of a way of building up the trust again in the relationship.

**Ms Piggy** · 27th April 2004, 14:49

Originally Posted by celticno6

Thanks for the kind words mate.

Both Gini and I are incredibly passionate, creative people, with the capacity to completely go off the deep end at times, particularly when we decide to ignore doctors advice on certain things I don't (and won't) go into here...

Suffice to say, we're now following doctor's advice, and looking after each other now.

BTW we went for a ride today on the bike. First time for Gini on the back of the bike. Kind of a way of building up the trust again in the relationship.

Good news matey!

I'm a sucker for happy endings! I'm really glad you've been able to work things out.

**Ms Piggy** · 27th April 2004, 14:58

Originally Posted by Big Dog

But the point is How can you love someone so patently incpable of loving you for who you are?
If it's important to you they have three choices, participate, like it or lump it.

If anyone gives me a ultimatum they don't care about me only the image of me that they have created for themselves.

Life and love are about compromise not domination to me, and that is more important than my bike.

Thanks for all your intersting & varied comments on this guys & gals. It certainly opened up a lot more discussion that I thought it would! In the end though I think what BD has said sums it up for me too.

Life is generally about compromise & I guess it also depends if you are in a relationship and then start riding or meet some gorgeous thang & are already riding and then there are bigger things to consider if you have kids added into the equation!

My question was more directed at men who say the "aren't allowed" and to me that's control & domination. Heck, it didn't work for Hitler so why would it work in a relationship!

Cheers All

Whhoaaaa...this is deep!

**Big Dog** · 3rd May 2004, 16:59

Originally Posted by Zed

Have you married your pillion Big Dog?

Not yet. Getting her a safe mode of transport (ie road legal) and getting us both out of debt are higher on the priority list at this stage as we both agree that you do it right because you do it once.

I expect to be asking later this year.

**FROSTY:Me** · 3rd May 2004, 17:31

Originally Posted by celticno6

Thanks for the kind words mate.

Both Gini and I are incredibly passionate, creative people, with the capacity to completely go off the deep end at times, particularly when we decide to ignore doctors advice on certain things I don't (and won't) go into here...

Suffice to say, we're now following doctor's advice, and looking after each other now.

BTW we went for a ride today on the bike. First time for Gini on the back of the bike. Kind of a way of building up the trust again in the relationship.

Hey good luck mate .

I split up from my ex a year odd back. Turns out one reason was I DIDDN'T want her on my bike. Aint women strange creatures?

**SPman** · 3rd May 2004, 17:53

Originally Posted by Ghost Lemur

..
Damn I'm in a ranty mood.

Yeah, but its True!

**Ms Piggy** · 3rd May 2004, 20:36

Originally Posted by xjxjxj

Aint women strange creatures?

I find men incredibly difficult to figure out! Am I missing something or not???

**Ms Piggy** · 3rd May 2004, 20:41

Originally Posted by SPman

Yeah, but its True!

Yup - good words GL

**Wonko** · 3rd May 2004, 21:21

Originally Posted by Celtic_Sea_lily

I find men incredibly difficult to figure out! Am I missing something or not???

Trun up, bring

, be naked, what more does a man need? (Apart from two wheels of course, goes with out saying)

**James Deuce** · 3rd May 2004, 21:25

Originally Posted by Wonko

Trun up, bring

, be naked, what more does a man need? (Apart from two wheels of course, goes with out saying)

Exactly - men are thoroughly uncomplicated.

Women are the tricky ones.

**MadDuck** · 3rd May 2004, 21:39

Originally Posted by Celtic_Sea_lily

I find men incredibly difficult to figure out! Am I missing something or not???

LMFAO....It doesnt get any easier does it Celtic? ...I have come to conclusion they are not meant to be "figured out". Just nod and smile at the right places and all is well

and the naked thing only works for one night usually.

Just to put another angle on the topic...heck NO bloke will ever tell me to give up my bike or any of my other mad pastimes. Take me as I am or not at all..... hmmmm maybe why me still single

**Timber020** · 3rd May 2004, 22:04

One of my ex's used to joke that I had 6 girlfriends but she was on only one that I didnt try to make go faster. She was pretty good with the bike thing only to later on start having nightmares after watching me work. She basically said "Its either your job or me"
Hell I know I could love my job for another 10 years.......
My present girlfriend (who I plan to do alot of miles with) does have a problem with my work and bike but knows that they are to much a part of me for me to give up. So she supports them kinda although I am thinking of buying her a bike for her birthday. Problem is I would worry to much about her, talk about double standards!

Dont know if I should buy her one (or give her one of the 7 I have) or not. Would hate to see her get hurt on the road.

**FROSTY:Me** · 3rd May 2004, 23:16

Originally Posted by Celtic_Sea_lily

I find men incredibly difficult to figure out! Am I missing something or not???

You sure are--its easy really--we have one track minds is all ya need to know--The hard bit is figguring out what track we happen to be on at the time