Something helpful

[BuFfY]

Wait.... so what you are saying is if I have lots of lil red pots my water will boil faster?

[Qkkid]

Wait.... so what you are saying is if I have lots of lil red pots my water will boil faster?

providing you put them all on the stove p.s dont forget to turn the stove on and if your on gas dont forget to light the gas

[MSTRS:Me]

Weelll....pot will make your eyes red....but I'm not sure what it will do to 'your water'

[Ixion]

Got the coffee got the toast dinners sorted now how about scrambled eggs how do i make them to go on me toast

Break as many eggs as are desired into a mixing vessel
Add to the vessel one SMALL dollop of milk per egg
Beat all well together until homogeneous
Salt and pepper to taste

Pour mixture into a greased skillet or pan, preheated to a moderate heat.
Add one small knob of butter cut up and spread throughout the mixture.
Stir with a wooden spoon, moving the thickening mass from the edges into the centre and folding the mixture over until it has thickened. Reduce heat as necessary to prevent hardening around the edges.

Serve, garnished as desired.

[Qkkid]

Break as many eggs as are desired into a mixing vessel
Add to the vessel one SMALL dollop of milk per egg
Beat all well together until homogeneous
Salt and pepper to taste

Pour mixture into a greased skillet or pan, preheated to a moderate heat.
Add one small knob of butter cut up and spread throughout the mixture.
Stir with a wooden spoon, moving the thickening mass from the edges into the centre and folding the mixture over until it has thickened. Reduce heat as necessary to prevent hardening around the edges.

Serve, garnished as desired.

add some herbs a bit of mustard very yummy thank god i can have breakfast now thank you ixion

[Rosie]

So I'll contribute a recipe of my own...

The first beer of the day

Ingredients:
Beer
Bottle opener (optional)
Beer glass (optional)

Chill the beer in a refrigerator. Beer can be fast chilled in the freezer, but this is not recommended.

Remove beer from refrigerator. Dark beers for winter consumption can be left on the bench for a couple of minutes to warm up a little. In summer, beer glasses can be put into the freezer for a few minutes to make them nice and cold. But not for too long or your tongue will stick to it.

Open beer. Using a bottle opener if necessary. Opening your beer with another object, such as a screwdriver, the bonnet of your car, or your eye socket is a nice touch (especially if trying to impress females).

Tilt beer glass about 20-30° from vertical. Pour beer in slowly, so it doesn't froth too much. For wheat beers, pour 3/4 of the beer into the glass, swirl the remains around the bottom of the bottle, and continue pouring.

Take a moment to smell the delicious aroma of your beer before taking the first well-deserved sip.

Repeat as required.

[Hitcher]

You know, if you put a lid on the pot, the water boils faster....

PV = nRT (where RT is the radius of the top?)

Oh. And that must be "Strike two".

[kickingzebra]

This it is, humblest apologies... hXc has written cover the pot... If not for posterity, I would amend post to read:
Although one buttock will probably be of sufficient size to cover the pot, a lid is the recommended device, as buttocks have limited sensitivity to boiling water/steam.

[crashe]

hXc - You are doing a damn fine job trying to teach these totally uncouth motorbike riders about the finer art of culinary delights.

Here they are all taking the piss at you, when you have gone out of your way to help them make a meal for their next date (thats if they can get one) and for those that are married, so that they could surprise their wife/partner with a nice meal.

Whether it be muffins or scrambled eggs on toast with a nice cuppa coffee.
This rowdy lot are not appreciating all that you are doing for them...

Now I imagine even the gals are taking note on how to do things as well...
Cos you know some gals just don't like to do the kitchen thing.


So all I can say is well done and keep up the good work.

And NO this thread should NOT end up in PD....

We must all appreciate hXc's great work and to do that it can only be done in this thread in the 'Rant and Rave" section.
So moderators please leave this thread alone.
cheers.

[hXc]

...Insert above post here...

Thanks Crashe. I appreciate it. I mean, I have gone to a lot of trouble to try and educate these half wits. I like to be helpful and I'm glad that some people are taking this seriously.

I believe this thread should not be sent to PD. It's not pointless, and it's not drivel. It's basic, yes: But it will certainly help the likes of alarumba, Rosie, BuFfY and the sister of BuFfY.

To carry on with my helpful cooking instructions, stay tuned....

[yungatart]

..... helpful cooking instructions, stay tuned....

hXc has to get off the computer now and go and prepare a 3 course banquet for yours truly and MSTRS...
I really don't mind if it is toast, scrambled egg, boiled water and noodles, with blokey muffins and coffee for dessert - as long as he puts his great culinary skills to good use in the kitchen - for a change!

[MSTRS:Me]

After all this gratuitous cookery, I thought that it might be appropriate at this time to instruct you all on what to do with all those dirty dishes.....
Pop them in a sack & take them round to your mum. She knows what to do with them.

[hXc]

How to make fried rice

Fried rice is an easy and filling dish - great for a bachelor gentleman. You just have to remember to cook the rice the night before.

Ingredients:
4 c. cooked rice
Oil
2 eggs
1 carrot - diced
1/2 c. frozen peas
4 scallions - minced
1/2 c. leftover meat
Soy sauce

Steps:
1. Heat a wok or large skillet over high heat.
2. Add a little oil and wait a few moments for it to heat up.
3. Break the eggs into the wok and mix quickly to scramble.
4. When the egg is well-set, remove it and chop it into bite-size pieces or strips.
5. Wipe out the wok and add a little more oil. Wait for it to heat.
6. If the rice is clumpy, break it up with your hands so that each grain is separate.
7. Add the cold rice to the wok. Move the rice quickly around the hot pan by putting your spoon or spatula under the rice and turning it over. (This is the basic stir-frying technique.)
8. After a minute or so, add the diced carrots and move them about the pan with the rice.
9. After 3 minutes, add the frozen peas and stir-fry.
10. After 2 minutes, add the scallions, egg and meat, if using.
11. Season the rice with salt or soy sauce once the ingredients are well-mixed. Cook another minute or until everything is heated through.
12. Remove from heat and serve.

Tips:
The amount of oil you use is up to you. You need only a tablespoon or so to keep the rice from sticking.

You can put anything you want in fried rice: leftover vegetables, stir-fry or anything that seems interesting. Try fried rice with ham and eggs for breakfast.

Traditionally, fried rice is seasoned with salt instead of soy sauce, because soy sauce turns the rice brown. Whichever you choose, be conservative when you first add it. You can always add more, but you can't take too much back.

Try a few drops of sesame oil in the egg before you cook it.

Try some minced garlic and ginger in the oil before you add the rice.

If your wok is large, you can cook the egg with everything else: After the rice and other ingredients are heated, push it to the sides of the wok so there's an empty space in the bottom. Crack the eggs into the space and cook. When the eggs are set, stir everything together to break up the eggs.

Some people like tomato sauce on their fried rice.

Warnings:
Don't use hot rice, or you'll have a gloppy mess. Cooling the rice makes the grains separate.

[Rosie]

But it will certainly help the likes of alarumba, Rosie, BuFfY and the sister of BuFfY

Alright, I'll stop mocking you. This is a great recipe, and easy to remember (1 of everything). I can even make it when I'm drunk.

Corn fritters (stolen from Alyson Holst "Meals without meat").

You will need...
1 can of whole kernel corn, drained, or 1 1/4 cups of thawed frozen corn
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 egg
a little bit of water, or juice from the corn can.
Black pepper to taste

Optional flavourings (choose a couple, not all at once)
Grated cheese
Fresh herbs
Chilli sauce
left over chopped up veggies
curry powder
fish sauce
balsamic vinegar
etc.

And here is what you do...
Mix all the ingredients together, adding just enough water to make a fairly stiff batter to coat the bits of corn. Don't overmix, or the batter will become tough.
Heat some oil over medium/high heat in a frypan. Non stick if you must, but they get a nice crispy crust if you put them in a proper cast iron pan (and that extra iron is good for you! Teflon isn't).
Add big spoonfuls of the fritter mixture to the pan, and flatten them slightly. Cook for a couple of minutes on each side, or until golden, and cooked through (ie not goey in the middle).
Put them on a plate lined with a paper towel, and keep them warm in the oven (~150°C) until ready to serve. Or, if you live by yourself, stand in the kitchen and eat the first batch while you cook the second.
Serve them with potatoes and vegetables to impress the vegetarian love of your life, or serve them for breakfast with eggs (see recipes above), or eat them by themselves for an easy and filling snack.

[kickingzebra]

.

"Meals without meat".

LIES!!!! There is no such thing!!! LIES I SAY!!