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Thread: Don't buy the latest FAST BIKES rip-off mag

  1. #1
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    Don't buy the latest FAST BIKES rip-off mag

    I can't stand these sealed magazines that you can't peruse (i.e. get a free read). Just got tricked into buying the Fast Bikes mag. It's the one with a green 636 on the cover. The misleading half-truth-lie that got me was the 600 bike comparison test on the cover that read '2006 R6 vs CBR,ZXR & GSXR'. Cool I thinks to myself. The latest 06 tackle, including my bike, all together. That should be worth a read and there's a test on the 675 (always keen to read about them). And a DVD of stunts. Sounds like a well spent penny.
    Bloody DVD is poor quality, joe-average stunts on pre-21st century hunks of old shit. Bin that after one viewing. Although there was a nasty clip of a rolling stoppie gone bad that made me shiver and question why I would do one of those again. Half a nano second later- because I get a buzz out of em! That's why.
    But, the real piss off was that the other 600s were in fact the 2005 models. Editor Conveniently left that snippet out. Had I known I would not have bought the mag. Bastards.
    Just to rub it in they finish the test with - in a couple of weeks we will have the 06 bikes including the GSXR and Daytona so we can do the test all over again.
    FB can at times have some tasty pictures and atleast this one has some great stand up wheelies and knee down cornering pics. Plus titties pics, lets not forget them. Although, with all the thousands of well formed natural tits in the world why do they need to resort to plastic?
    Still I enjoy the way they compare bikes with lots of colourful pretty charts and they do sometimes seem to know what they are talking about.
    Hey, does anyone want to buy a cool 20 min DVD of stunts called Grevious Bike Harm for $16. Only used once.
    Happiness is a means of travel, not a destination

  2. #2
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    Bling awarded for the blatant attempt to recupe your losses.
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  3. #3
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    In the early Ninetys, Fast Bikes was the only bike magazine I would read. I'm talking the Sean and Jason Emmett days, followed by Andy "Idiot" Ibot and then Shane "Shakey" Byrne.

    They were all proper racers, outstanding riders and bloody funny.

    The majority of todays bike journos fail to impress me in either the skill or wit department. I especially went off their herdlike, sensationalist reporting after finally sampling a K5 Gixxer 750 for myself. A bike I'd been longing to ride since it's release.

    "600 handling with 1000cc power"? Are you gay? It's a 750, with 750 power, nothing more. And every single one of the lying bastards claimed it. I would have bought one on those recomendations.

    Anyway, that's my rant for the day.

    The only Magazine I buy is Rapid bikes. And it's only $7.50
    Vote David Bain for MNZ president

  4. #4
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    I'll read most mags as long as they haven't got a shot of Alan Cathcart looking like a spastic motocrosser in it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I usually stick to Rapid and AMCN. G.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by White trash
    sensationalist reporting after finally sampling a K5 Gixxer 750 for myself. A bike I'd been longing to ride since it's release.

    "600 handling with 1000cc power"? Are you gay? It's a 750, with 750 power, nothing more. And every single one of the lying bastards claimed it. I would have bought one on those recomendations.
    and I did buy one off recomendations of bike mag's and WT is right....power of a 750 nuffin more...nuffin less....it handles like a peice of shit from the factory too!!! [but alls getting sorted.....anyway]

    I subscribe to fastbikes,superbike,and performance bike....
    Superbike is my favorite....a spade is almost a spade with them...there tests like the famous superbike tyre test is well thought out and thourgh! and they're a pack of funni cunts!!!
    fastbikes.....can be a bit of a larf....I take alot of what they say with a grain of salt....but hey....its still better than reading the stuff thats produced in NZ....and even then the leading bike tester in NZ is a twat...seems to write tests by exclusivly copying out of the press brochure....makes mistakes and honestly I don't think he sounds qualified to be testing alot of the bikes he does....[think people might no the mag I'm talkin bout here]...
    and performance bikes....its not the same magizine it was 3+ years ago....but I enjoy the technical side of it...articles...etc...

    just my opinion
    Quote Originally Posted by Drew View Post
    Given the short comings of my riding style, it doesn't matter what I'm riding till I've got my shit in one sock.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by cowpoos
    and performance bikes....its not the same magizine it was 3+ years ago....but I enjoy the technical side of it...articles...etc...
    I definately agree with that as a loong time reader.

    Has anyone noticed that Performance Bikes dont seem to be doing any group tests anymore? Maybe they just crashed too many over the years that the manufactures dont want to give them bikes anymore.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by MD
    Plus titties pics, lets not forget them. Although, with all the thousands of well formed natural tits in the world why do they need to resort to plastic?
    Oh no, any mag that has to use plastic ain't on my shopping list.
    "You, Madboy, are the Uncooked Pork Sausage of Sausage Beasts. With extra herbs."
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  8. #8
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    I have only ever bought one Fast Bikes and I thought it was complete crap.

    I feel that the editors have painted the magazine into a corner with its "oh we're so fast and clever and we'll take the piss out of everything" but dont deliver the goods. Performance Bikes actually does. and i particularly like the "lets make a 250mph street bike with 700hp" and "lets get a porky underpowered old shitter and make it as good as a new one (ZX something they had, or the first gen R1).

    The best motorbike magazine in the world for my money is Cycle World. Ive subscribed for years, and theres never been a bad issue. Also you can pick up any issue from past years and find something worth reading.

    and face it, if you want to see tits, get on the interweb. Im told there are pictures of naked women on it..... really! I wouldnt know obviously, but still.

    Also I dont like it if the half naked totty is standing in front of the bloody motorbike. Oi, get those tits out the way I want to see how the rear brake hose is routed....
    I thought elections were decided by angry posts on social media. - F5 Dave

  9. #9
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    the current PB also has a pretty extensive track test of the 675.

    nice bit of kit.
    I thought elections were decided by angry posts on social media. - F5 Dave

  10. #10
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    Yeah Fat Blokes magazine is crap. Every now and then I forget how pooh it is and buy it only to remain unimpressed. Superbike is the best one out there. Rapid is OK too but I get fucked off with Aussie journos always going on about "Phillip Is the best racetrack on Earth" and Norfolk Is "The most beautiful place on Earth" and Gt Sth road "the best road on Earth" Every cunting thing in Oz is "the best on Earth." Good photography though.

    And WT Sean Emmet is a whingy twat who did fuck all and blamed everyone else aka Kocinski fashion. Met him once, complete cock.
    Superdukes. Serving up shame to sportsbikes since ages ago.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by HenryDorsetCase
    and face it, if you want to see tits, get on the interweb. Im told there are pictures of naked women on it..... really! I wouldnt know obviously, but still.

    Also I dont like it if the half naked totty is standing in front of the bloody motorbike. Oi, get those tits out the way I want to see how the rear brake hose is routed....
    With ya, there. Anything that needs a sexy-looking chick to make it more appealing is a crap product.

    Used to see similar in the firearms mags I bought years ago.
    Two full page ads, one for Heckler and Koch showing the firearm and a shit load of accessories for it with the HK logo and contact details, another for some nobody company's "assault rifle" showing the weapon in question held by some spunky blonde bint in a bikini - Sniper, I don't have her number!

    HK have a reputation for excellence, all they need you to know is the name of the weapon and that it is well supported, the other buggers had to resort to a chick with big tits to try to sell their products. Even if they'd written "buy our weapon and we guarantee that this chick will fuck you senseless for a week" I'd still buy the HK rather than their PoS weapon.

    My sex life is not dependant on which firearm or motorcycle I have so I'm immune to the blatant "this product is appealing to the opposite sex" adverts.

    Quality does not need sexing up. A BMW ad I saw had the K100 out in the middle of some deserted road at the back end of nowhere and the words "The Ultimate Riding Machine" - that's all they needed: "you know the name, you know the reputation and this is what the bike is made for" Tells me all I need to know.
    Motorbike Camping for the win!

  12. #12
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    I only get Superbike, after trying just about all of them...and it's not just for the boobies either!
    Even better when you pick up the UK ones, you get the DVDs and other extras as well, which they seem to always remove before they get here.
    Oh, and did I mention boobies?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo600
    Rapid is OK too but I get fucked off with Aussie journos always going on about "Phillip Is the best racetrack on Earth" and Norfolk Is "The most beautiful place on Earth" and Gt Sth road "the best road on Earth" Every cunting thing in Oz is "the best on Earth." Good photography though.
    They wouldnt know what a good road was if it bit them on the cock!
    There are some "pleasant" roads around WA, but all the guys around here seem to want to go to NZ for the riding!
    Performance Bikes used to be good, but seems to have lost it a bit, since everyone died or got killed off.....
    “- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by White trash
    The only Magazine I buy is Rapid bikes. And it's only $7.50
    Same here sort of... I buy Two Wheels and Rapid... but they are now bring out Rapid on a monthly basis so thats going to be the main one from now on...

    All the other ones I've bothered buying in the past just seem to disapoint me..
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

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    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  15. #15
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    I often buy Performance bikes mag. they seem to know thier stuff.
    and have a lot ''real world'' tests and articles.They're also building a bus to do 250mph and keep it street leagal which
    has been quite a good read.

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