Shell Fuel Rip Off

**Paul in NZ** · 29th May 2006, 12:31

Originally Posted by F5 Dave

Glad to be so well respected.

Which hopefully will help with sales of my new range of fuel boosting additives that should launch onto the market, ohh, about 2:30 this arvo.

Fist is an elixir made from the slime from eels mixed with black ice. Nothing is slipperier & will reduce friction in you engine by 19.5% while adding ozone to the atmosphere.

Next will be my exhaust pipe add-on turbofan that will increase the power of a shitbox starlet to that of a racing V8. But sadly only to the virtual test vehicle we used to make the claims.
Send money now to. . .

Bah!

Dave, stick to the technical stuff and leave the marketting to a pro...

Ladies and gents, not only is 'Fist 5' super fuel enhancer (a number in the title makes it technical) an elixir made from the slime from eels mixed with black ice. But the eels are actually ELECTRIC eels thus transforming your normal car into a miserly and super modern planet saving hybrid car allowing you to reap the benefits of the latest advances in automotive technology trends and to hold your head high as you collect the kids from school in your 27 litre SUV...

Still not slippery enough? Well for a limited time, with every 5lt pack of new 'Fist 5' we are giving away our new oil additive - "Fist XP5". This really is made from the slipperiest substance ever discovered by mankind. We have made the entire marketting team from ALL the oil companies redundant and then, ground them up into a smooth paste, added some of Winston Peters hair oil and poured it into a cute take home dispenser designed by Tony Blair. Folks, we have done the research - If you can find anything more slippery than this - we will give you your money back (conditions apply)

**Karma** · 29th May 2006, 12:33

Originally Posted by Paul in NZ

If you can find anything more slippery than this - we will give you your money back (conditions apply)

Take your pick...

OJ Simpson or Michael Jackson...

You think anything gets more slippery?

**madboy** · 29th May 2006, 12:42

Different bikes are tuned for different gas. As are different cars. My 2002 636 and our 1998 import family wagon both specify and get run on 95+. My old 1989 MX-5 is specified and is run on 91. My last turbo car (a heavily modified 1992 model) ran on 98, and would run but like a sack of shite on 96. The price of mods. My parent's 2001 NZ new car runs 95+.

Age of vehicle is irrelevant to what it is tuned to run on. It comes down to the tune, either factory or aftermarket. In saying that, a lot of cars in particular, will have a computer that can cope with different fuels. It just adjusts tune to account for it.

**Flyingpony** · 29th May 2006, 12:50

Originally Posted by Jim2

Why the hell am I taking flak for sharing information?

You can all get xxxxx.

Keep up the good work there Jim2!

Would like to read your results from running BP. I've just filled with Caltex from nearly empty tank (nearest to home since I'd just add meths

). Will see how far I get with it. Not sure where next tank will be from, got two months to think about it.

**Paul in NZ** · 29th May 2006, 13:03

Originally Posted by Weasel

Take your pick...

OJ Simpson or Michael Jackson...

You think anything gets more slippery?

OJ Simpson? Who would put that in their tank? A tank of OJ? Nah - slippery but no good from a marketting point of view - too fruity...

Michael Jackson? Slippery is not the same as sticky - the man is tacky tacky tacky...

**Karma** · 29th May 2006, 13:10

Well ok then... but they really don't get more slippery than this guy;

**Fatjim** · 29th May 2006, 13:14

Speaking of Shell rip off.

Went to the Shell in Johnsonville on sunday to buy a map. Looked to me like the label said $4.95 but the muppet behind the till would only sell it to me for $13.95. Had no choice but to buy it.

Can someone who's local check that they've sorted it out. I told the muppet I'd be back to have a look as I was understandably pissed off.

If they haven't sorted I'm gonna make a special trip to tip them all over the floor so they have to do something about it, and I might make lots of noise too

FJ

**Karma** · 29th May 2006, 13:23

Had to buy a map? They run outta pies?

**scumdog** · 29th May 2006, 13:27

Originally Posted by Ixion

Could be, could be. But, uh, just by the way, what was the compression ratio in that tank of yours again

Oh, 10.5 to 1 if I have the 'low-comp' model but COULD be 11 to 1 if I have the year of manufactur wrong.

**Fatjim** · 29th May 2006, 13:47

Originally Posted by Weasel

Had to buy a map? They run outta pies?

I needed the map so I could find more pies!

**"D" FZ1** · 29th May 2006, 13:58

I buy Shell as I can use FlyBuys. I am not getting anymore mileage out of a tank than I did before

**F5 Dave** · 29th May 2006, 14:33

Originally Posted by Fatjim

I needed the map so I could find more pies!

Open your eyes! EtaNada or whatever it's called is on the main rd of J'vlle over the road from the Wear-house (where everyone gets a bogan).

Anyways, their pies are pretty sharp, I often have one while waiting for a WOF from Richards up the road.
[edit] can't place where the shell is come to think of it, Mob & BP are main rd & Calt around crnr, erm. . .