How to stop dogs pissing on my bikes!?

[beyond]

When my kids were young and I lived in town, I had a problem with a large dog dropping clangers all over my front lawn. You know the result. Kids would come in stinking like hell with clanger dough all over their trotters and then comes summer and you hit it with your lawn mower and a cloud of Agent orange would descend upon you and have you gagging in the shrubbery.

So, what I did, was a full on Starsky and Hutch replay. Got myself an air powered eight shot colt 45 in .22 calibre slug pistol and bunged a nice fresh CO2 cyclinder in it, for maximum affect. I saw the large dog coming into our property one Saturday morning, grabbed the slug pistol and twisted the key to puncture the CO2 cyclinder. I asked my wife to wrench the front door open as quick as she could, which she did very well. I leapt out onto the porch, down on one knee, both hands holding the pistol out in front and managed to pump all eight rounds into the bugger while he was in the middle of a dirty big squat. Man it sounded good.

The mangy mutt leapt about two metres into the air with a massive clanger hanging out it's arse. It's legs were going like a blur and just like in the Scobby Doo movies. When it hit the ground, grass and dirt was flying everywhere as it tried to get a grip. I jumped back inside as quick as I could and slammed the door shut, peering out the curtain as all hell broke loose.

This mutts racing up and down the road, baying and hollering, up the crescent and back again. Neighbours are all coming out to see what the ruckus is all about. Guess what, no more clangers on my front yard.

[bert_is_evil]

Whats actually needed is to catch the dog, but be aware that many are very cunning. Ive caught 2 dogs in the neighbourhood since I have lived here as they where allways allowed to wonder and make a nuscience of themselves. One needed a slight tune up while in my posession as it was a nasty bastard, however Ive handle dogs similar in the past. I then tied them to the clothes line and called the pound. Basically its my theory that its not the dogs faulth that its a dropkick, but the owner how trained (or neglected) and allowed it to wander. There are some pretty hefty fines in NP for owning a nuscience dog and I know that on both occasions the owner was indeed fined. Through past experience, ignorant dog owners only take notice when they are hit hard where it hurts, in the pocket.

How did you catch the dogs? I'm guessing it wasn't the old steak spiked with tranquiliser trick.

[dawnrazor]

follow them home and piss on their kennels, if I know dogs and I think I do, that'll piss them off no end and the lesson will have been learnt.

...or you may get arrested for flashing your langer in public

[MrMelon]

Smack em in the balls with an electric fly swat!

[bert_is_evil]

Smack em in the balls with an electric fly swat!

The dog or it's owner?

[inlinefour]

How did you catch the dogs? I'm guessing it wasn't the old steak spiked with tranquiliser trick.

The only time they ever got in was when someone left a gate in. I'd sneak around and close the gate. Eventually the dog in question gave up and came over to me for a pat and that was it. I actually really like dogs, its the owners that I tend to have a problem with...

[Skyryder]

I saw a dog piss on an electric fence once. I've never seen a dog jump so high or run so fast. Vanished very quickly down the road, japping insanely all the way.

Seen a guy do this..............dropped so fast...............his legs just buckled out from under him. His nuts ached for hours. Just not the thing to do.

Skyryder

[Mikey27]

Smack em in the balls with an electric fly swat!

love those electric fly swats, suprised a few people with that too

[Skyryder]

Try some Eglish mustard powder sprinkled around you bike on the ground. Chillie powder will work to. Dogs have very senstive noses bit of hot powder up the nostral is not pleasent. Keep the powder around for a few days until the dog(s) know to keep away. Should work. You might have to do this again periodicly.



Skyryder

[mstriumph]

i once had a bloke actually lead his wretched pooch onto my lawn to poop while he was out walking it

i watched this happen - couldn;t believe it

nipped out the back, grabbed a shovel [or, yes, it COULD have been a spade ... lol], scooped up the still-steaming poop and ....... followed the pair of them down the road with it

the guy kept walking faster and faster, looking back over his shoulder ... [i think it was my broad smile that was making him nervous ...] in the end he was sorta trotting with me trotting right along in the rear like some sort of keystone cops egg & spoon race .....

he reached his house and darted inside, dragging the pooch behind him and slamming the door ...........

i waited until i saw the curtains twitch before opening his mailbox and carefully sliding the offering inside ........

then i turned, still smiling, waved and left

never happened again

-------------------------
the moral of this tale is ---- it's the owner's problem, not the dog's and not yours ..... so MAKE it the owner's problem

[inlinefour]

i once had a bloke actually lead his wretched pooch onto my lawn to poop while he was out walking it

i watched this happen - couldn;t believe it

nipped out the back, grabbed a shovel [or, yes, it COULD have been a spade ... lol], scooped up the still-steaming poop and ....... followed the pair of them down the road with it

the guy kept walking faster and faster, looking back over his shoulder ... [i think it was my broad smile that was making him nervous ...] in the end he was sorta trotting with me trotting right along in the rear like some sort of keystone cops egg & spoon race .....

he reached his house and darted inside, dragging the pooch behind him and slamming the door ...........

i waited until i saw the curtains twitch before opening his mailbox and carefully sliding the offering inside ........

then i turned, still smiling, waved and left

never happened again

-------------------------
the moral of this tale is ---- it's the owner's problem, not the dog's and not yours ..... so MAKE it the owner's problem

Green bling awarded.

[Titanium]

Grab some live traps........ possum traps work good for cats..... not sure what you would use for dogs. Guess it depends how big the dog is.....

Trap the dog and turn the hose on it for a few hours....... nice in the winter.

The cat that kept pissing on our bar b q has not been seen since. Was farken funny seeing it bounce around the inside of the cage......

Or you could get a dog?

[jord]

Surely someone has some tips for this bastard problem?
My bikes live outside as we have no garage and one of them has a cover. But one of our friendly local dogs pisses on the cover and it's a bastard if you want to take the cover off without getting dog piss on yourself or even fold it up and put it inside the house...you get the picture.
So, any suggestions (other than options involving toxic dog biscuits and firearms please) ?? Years ago I remember people used to put plastic bottles filled with water around their yard as some kind of deterrent - no idea if it worked or not. Or, wife's suggestion: I could piss on the cover and mark it out as my territory again....

mate iv got two words for you...Twelve guage