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Thread: Bullshit Biker Stories

  1. #16
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    15th April 2004 - 13:13
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    A girl at my mate's old work reckoned her boyfriend's bike was so fast that once he was riding along with only his hands on the bars and the rest of his body horizontal with the ground

  2. #17
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    29th August 2003 - 10:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deano
    Come to think of it - group of KBers at Lifeboat in Eastbourne - a HD rider there said he rode a HD nitro (might have the name wrong...again), but Jimbo750 (I think it was) said it sounded like a type of dildo..so maybe....

    I saw on the Jackass movie, one of the guys stuck a car up his ass - a toy car though !!
    It was a Harley Night train, and I said that it sounded like a condom.

    Well a night train for fucks sake. Does it come ribbed? or with a tickler?

  3. #18
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    29th August 2003 - 10:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deano
    I have heard a couple of bullshit stories myself (well sounded like bullshit and were told at a party while consuming vast quantities of booze, so they were at least stretched somewhat). Im sure some of you have heard a few good ones - well, now's the time to share - could be good for a laugh.

    Guy at a party said he was shagging his missus on his bike doing 160km/h.
    (maybe he calls his left hand his missus)

    Same guy reckoned that he had come over the crest of a brow doing over 160km/h, sheep standing in the middle of his lane - no time to swerve - he llifted the front wheel and hit it mid engine - cut the sheep in two and carried on - didn't drop the bike
    Have I told you about the time I was racing Kevin MaGee at Daytona raceway. Passed him on a corner with my knee on the deck with the front wheel in the air and went on to win.

    True!!

  4. #19
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    3rd July 2003 - 12:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo750
    Passed him on a corner with my knee on the deck with the front wheel in the air
    You forgot "and the back wheel sliding sideways while I was scratching my arse".
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  5. #20
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    31st January 2004 - 12:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo750
    Have I told you about the time I was racing Kevin MaGee at Daytona raceway. Passed him on a corner with my knee on the deck with the front wheel in the air and went on to win.

    True!!
    OK Kerry !!

    The only way any one here could overtake Kevin Mcgee would be after he had put his bike into the wall during the 500GP.
    Visit the team here - teambentley

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  6. #21
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    11th November 2002 - 13:00
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    Best/worst one I heard was a prat I used to work with who was,apparently,riding through London at the height of the Brixton riots back in the 70`s(Old English custom,when England aren`t playing away we trash our own country).Anyway he wanted to visit someone in Brixton,as you would with flying petrol bombs,rampaging mobs and the Met.Police Special Operations Group psychos looking to bust anyone`s head that gets in the way.The police had sealed off a street becuase there was a major fight going on,obviously this being not enough to deter our hero from using his intended route he found a plank in a rubbish skip,leaned it up against the police barricade and did the "Great Escape" bit clean over the barricade.This by the way being on an XS750triple...........with his brother on the back.
    Same bloke by the way was supposedly a mechanic,when he couldn`t get a machine running again and the boss asked him what the problem was his in-depth,informative,answer was,"It`s just being a bastard",he lasted 2 days after that one,claiming that a metal lug he`d welded in the wrong place had"moved of it`s own accord" was the last straw for the boss.

  7. #22
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    13th January 2004 - 11:00
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    I took a woman for a ride once on my old xj750p (ex cop)
    It had more dials and lights and switches than you could poke a stick at.
    She wanted to know what the digital readout and all the xtra switches were for--I told her -quietly and camly it was for the auto pilot to drive us home if I got too tired.
    To prove it I flicked a couple of switches then set off for a ride with her -and just rode for a half K or so with my arms folded. Ya gotta love cruise control
    And yes she did believe me ----She couldnt understand why biker types kept laughing at her when she told em about it
    To see a life newly created.To watch it grow and prosper. Isn't that the greatest gift a human being can be given?

  8. #23
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    4th March 2004 - 20:17
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    Yea... did I tell you that I rode all the way from Wollongong to Phillip Island with Wayne Gardner and some mates for the 2001 MotoGP with a police escort averaging 145kph.

    Team Brehaut Racing - VMCC/MNZ #67
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  9. #24
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    3rd March 2004 - 22:43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wenier
    well one time at band camp this girl stuck a whole bike up her pussy, im pretty sure that one was true.
    The way I heard, it was the biker...........two days later another went missing and her belly was heard to extoll the virtues of Harleys and British bikes.

    Skyryder
    Free Scott Watson.

  10. #25
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    3rd March 2004 - 22:43
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    Riding a few years ago up on the summit road and the lead rider canned into the side of a wire fence. Not much damage to the bike but his jeans were torn to sheds. He calmy pulled out a pair of wire cutter clipped some #8 and proceeded to sow up his jeans with fencing wire. Funny as hell at the time. I still crack up when I think of it.

    Skyryder
    Free Scott Watson.

  11. #26
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    11th November 2002 - 13:00
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    True story

    Good one this and not B.S.
    I was at the annual Plymouth Megaride today,6000 bike run followed by a meet at the sea-front.Amongst other things was a display by the Police showing how a couple of real accidents had happened,complete with pics taken by the accident investigation team.2 young girls were looking and visibly upset at something,Mum comes over,"Oh my god".Obviously I`m a bit concerned because they were obviously upset but I didn`t know what to do or say.Bloke walks up,Dad/Husband,bit of a family conference and he tells me that he`d had a serious accident a year back,ended up in a coma for a month and as a result chucked in riding because of the trauma the whole thing put the family through.What was on the display was his accident!!One of the girls had seen the picture of what was left of a GSXR600 then also recognised the road as well.He had no idea they`d taken any pictures let alone were displaying them.

  12. #27
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    13th March 2003 - 11:47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marknz
    Yea... did I tell you that I rode all the way from Wollongong to Phillip Island with Wayne Gardner and some mates for the 2001 MotoGP with a police escort averaging 145kph.

    .. and Wayne was on his old NSR500 I suppose?
    Cheers

    Merv

  13. #28
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    17th July 2003 - 23:37
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    None of the bikers I have known are keen to let the truth get in the way of a good yarn.

    Start a thread about the competency of the police and you will see what I mean.

  14. #29
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    13th January 2004 - 11:00
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    a true story and my sole clam to fame-- waay back in 1988 i got to (very breifly) ride a Brittain bike. Ok it was in pit lane at whanganui and it wasnt the Brittain as we know it but an earlier version but still how many guys can say theyve ridden a Brittain ?
    its kind of like just drop it in the conversation when THE brittain comes up --" Oh yea I've ridden one of those" and leave it at that.--when all the mutterings of BS etc subside I used to flash the picture out.
    Not so believable nowadays with photoshop etc but back then....
    To see a life newly created.To watch it grow and prosper. Isn't that the greatest gift a human being can be given?

  15. #30
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    29th September 2003 - 20:48
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    Was that the first britten?? the one with normal forks etc?? and the denso piece of shit speedway engine?

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