Bullshit Biker Stories

[k14]

You forgot "and the back wheel sliding sideways while I was scratching my arse".

and his girlfriend giving him a handjob

[matthewt]

a true story and my sole clam to fame-- waay back in 1988 i got to (very breifly) ride a Brittain bike. Ok it was in pit lane at whanganui and it wasnt the Brittain as we know it but an earlier version but still how many guys can say theyve ridden a Brittain ?
its kind of like just drop it in the conversation when THE brittain comes up --" Oh yea I've ridden one of those" and leave it at that.--when all the mutterings of BS etc subside I used to flash the picture out.
Not so believable nowadays with photoshop etc but back then....

Can't say I've "ridden" one properly but in my study hangs a photo of me on the #1 bike signed by John Britten wishing me a happy 21st. My brother nearly had him talked into leaving the bike in my parents garage so they could pretend they'd brought one for me. F**k imagine reality setting in after thinking that they had actually blown 150k on a bike for your 21st !!

[NordieBoy]

Was that the first britten?? the one with normal forks etc?? and the denso piece of shit speedway engine?

The Denco was a brilliant speedway engine.
It was never designed for the extended use it was getting.

[k14]

Yeah it was useless for road racing. Loads and loads of torque but bugger all power. Apparantly the chassis of the first britten was arguably better than the chassis of the other britten, with the girder front end etc.

[Marknz]

.. and Wayne was on his old NSR500 I suppose?

No, he was on his then brand new Blade that he gets every year from Honda Australia.

[LB]

Can't say I've "ridden" one properly but in my study hangs a photo of me on the #1 bike signed by John Britten wishing me a happy 21st. My brother nearly had him talked into leaving the bike in my parents garage so they could pretend they'd brought one for me. F**k imagine reality setting in after thinking that they had actually blown 150k on a bike for your 21st !!

I've seen the photo so I can vouch that this story is true.

[Big Dog]

Can't say I've "ridden" one properly but in my study hangs a photo of me on the #1 bike signed by John Britten wishing me a happy 21st.

My kids have, somewhere, photo's taken of one with a No1 painted on it with me and eldest son astride long hair blown out behind me. Unfortunately the one with me hanging off the side pretending to ride it with the knee down never came out. All you see is a big finger with a knee protruding out.

Taken at the eltham mobile in about 96 while it was on a promotional tour. I suspect it was not the real no1 as there was no security to speak of. But even a fake had me buzzing for days while I waited for the photos back.

[pete376403]

My bro-in-law has a photo of himself sitting on the real thing at Manfield. Courtesy of him being part of Bruce Ansteys team. (Bruce obviously had enough cred with the Britten people to be allowed to do this sort of thing)

[Motu]

I used to own Ivan Millers Cheney/Triumph,both names would fall on deaf ears here.My Rickman Mettise had Len Perry's name on the ownership papers too.

[White trash]

I'm saving my most bullshit stories for the long drive to Auckland and the BBQ on the 3rd.

You're gonna love 'em!

[pete376403]

I used to own Ivan Millers Cheney/Triumph,both names would fall on deaf ears here.My Rickman Mettise had Len Perry's name on the ownership papers too.

Ive got deaf ears but all those names mean something to me. (spelling nazi alert) Metisse (Mongrel in French) only has one "t" but 2 "s"

[merv]

I used to own Ivan Millers Cheney/Triumph,both names would fall on deaf ears here.My Rickman Mettise had Len Perry's name on the ownership papers too.

By the time I met Ivan he was on Suzukis. Interesting story in Kiwi Rider wasn't it about him riding again.

I'm of the plastic generation and while I started riding with the Hawkes Bay MCC about 1970 I started on Japanese stuff, but many then still had the British stuff. Fastest guys in our club then were the Bevin boys on their Spartan Triumphs. (Nigel has been involved in Taupo lately with Husabergs and stuff like that.) Then along came the TM Suzukis and later the Honda Elsinores.

Guys even rode trials those days on anything from Beeza Bantams and up including Dots and stuff like that. Then along came the Bultacos. I was a poor student so stuck with Jap stuff but my Bro' bought a Sherpa T 350 and he was also silly enough to buy a Benelli 180 mini bike off Keith Turner when he was dealing in Napier.

Many of my mates at Uni for some reason went down the British route - to be different I guess when they were long past their use by date.

So Motu, ears aren't deaf and the memories are still there. Its my eyes that aint what they used to be.

[What?]

... ears aren't deaf and the memories are still there. Its my eyes that aint what they used to be.

Whilst Mrs What? may disagree, my ears are also just fine.

[Motu]

Ive got deaf ears but all those names mean something to me. (spelling nazi alert) Metisse (Mongrel in French) only has one "t" but 2 "s"

I know,I know,I always get it wrong and have to ask my wife everytime I write it,but I was at work when I wrote that.Not too sure about Miller either,but Sammy is Millar,so the other will do.

The story I got with the Cheney was that Ivan brought it out from England(they are all hand built to the riders measurments,this was frame no 75),rode it 3 times and then took the motor out and returned to England.The guy I got it off was some sort off entrepreneur(wifes spell check) who found it in the back of a wharehouse he got hold of.Not much of a rider himself he got Dave Tompkins to fit a JAP to it,and I saw Dave race it a couple of times at the beach,but Dave didn't like it and took the motor out again.I put a 5TA back in it,but didn't really like it either - I really liked my 1964 Rickman,the 1968 Cheney was made to compete against Bultaco's and stuff,it was much more nervous.Oh,just to piss you off Merv,I found a Spartan frame in the hard refuse collection once - as I went past I saw the duplex frame and though,well,it can't be too bad and picked it up.But it was a road race frame,so never used it.

The reason guys still rode the British and Euro bikes in the early 70s was because they handled so much better - the 64 Rickman and 68 Cheney were paddocks ahead of my 73 TS/TM 400.

Jeez,us old farts have got some bullshit stories alright eh?

[pete376403]

Cycle magazine did a story about the Cheney BSA built for John Banks (not THAT one) to contest the Trans-AMA motocross series in the US. It looked fabulous and went like hell - easily hosed the factory big bore two strokes (Suz, Yam, etc) of the day, and was really 25 years ahead of its time, if you consider the big bore four strokes coming from Japan now. There wasn't much off-the-shelf stuff in the bike, either. He even made his own forks, using an Eldorado gun barrel boring machine.
Yeah us oldies a full of stuff. And you tell the kids today, and they won't believe you!