How To Handle Stress
*Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
*Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.
*Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
*When someone says “Have a nice day!” tell them you have other plans.
*Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
*Make a list of the things you have already done.
*Dance naked in front of your pets.
*Thumb through National Geographic and draw underwear on all the natives.
*Go shopping for clothes. Buy everything. Sweat in them. Return them the next day.
*Drive to work in reverse.
*Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
*Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognise it when it gets back to you.
*Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
*Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the checkout counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
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