Kiwi Biker Air

[jrandom]

I can't claim original authorship, but I've adapted this article to KB. It's appropriate. And it was in the public domain. I think.

***

If you've been using the net for a while, you've probably seen the "If OSs were Airlines" joke. If you haven't, check it out here.

Here's an update to include KB. And yes, we know it's not an OS.

Kiwi Biker Air

All of the passengers sit in the departure lounge discussing the physics of flying until, by means of random conversational fluxes, a fully working aircraft is designed. This only happens for the first 50 flights and then Motoracer adds a "How to build an aircraft" section to the FAQ. Following this any passengers who arrive without knowing how to build an aircraft are called thick cunts.

Once the aircraft design is finalised everybody goes on to the runway, carrying all of the aircraft components with them and then spends 10 hours checking the in-flight magazine for spelling and grammatical errors, leaving the aircraft to be built by the 3 passengers who can actually wield a spanner without having their eye out.

Once the aircraft is built the passengers spend many more hours discussing why their seat design is better than anybody else's and trying each other's seats for comfort. wkid_one's seat has a built in entertainment console, KK's was picked up cheap from an auction, Lynda Blair starts off with three seats and buys a new one every time somebody designs one that is slightly better, Antallica's seat looks like it has already been through a few crashes and SpankMe's seat looks nice, but it's far too big for him.

After assembly there is another endless debate about who is best qualified to fly and a second about why the drinks trolley is filled directly from the fuel tank. After much rattle throwing, flaming and general abusiveness a pilot is decided.

The plane glides smoothly down the runway, gets flashed by a speed camera, all of the luggage falls out and locks up the wheels and the whole thing ends up nose down in a ditch.

***

With thanks to AndrewR of UKRM, the only ZX-6R rider who's ever made it into alt.humor.best-of-usenet.

[Firefight]

Nicely addapted JR.just the thing for a wet, windy afternoon.

F/F

[James Deuce]

Authorship or not, that should become the Kiwibiker charter or mission statement or something. Fark that was funny!

[Jackrat]

Ha,There was no excuse for crashing.Better maintaince could of avoided this.And don't give us no crap about gravel on the run way neither.
Motu would of done it on one wheel an driftin' side ways.
It would also have worked if it was painted black had Mag wheels an more chrome.

[FROSTY:Me]

OK OK so I stuffed up and loaded all the heavy bikers on one side of the plane. But with the derestrictted high energy motors it should have flown

[Holy Roller]

All that is needed is Zed or another one of us walking the isles offering comfort in this time of peril

[Big Dog]

All that is needed is Zed or another one of us walking the isles offering comfort in this time of peril

F/F Attending to the casualties once he reduces the flames to smolders.

Gixxer laughin his head off going "again, again!"

Not to mention KK taking this as his call to run of toward the nearest fence with a a pair of pliers.

[Milky]

F/F Attending to the casualties once he reduces the flames to smolders.

Gixxer laughin his head off going "again, again!"

Not to mention KK taking this as his call to run of toward the neares fence with a a pair of pliers.

LMAO very nice.....