1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit
the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter.
As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present
you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device
that is capable of curing all disease, providing an
infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and
poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and
violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your
youthful life do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips).
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and
this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him
know that, for business reasons, you have to have him
killed.
4. What about hugging another male?
A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
B. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver.
C. If you're a professional baseball player and a
teammate hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
1) He is legally within the base path;
2) Both of you are wearing sufficient protection;
3) You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.
5. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
6. You have been seeing a woman for several years.
She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy
being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the
two of you are taking it easy-you're watching a
football game; she's reading the papers-when she
suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that
she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer
bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your
relationship is going. She says she's not asking
whether you want to get married; only whether you
believe that you have some kind of future together.
What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a
future, but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for
her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready
anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you
don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play
on third and seventeen.
7. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a
woman and you want to share with her all of the joys
and sorrows that the world has to offer, come what
may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her
after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you
say her name,and when she turns to you, with the sea
breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you
tell her.
C. Tell her what?
8. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill
and asks you to get your three children ready for
school. Your first question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
9. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran
underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and
developed new holes so large that you're not sure
which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected
underwear molecules and has to be handled with
tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A
real guy checks the garbage regularly in case
somebody, and we are not naming names, but this might
be his wife, is quietly trying to discard his
underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because
the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship
with it than with her.
10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable
explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites
all over the place for forty years before they finally
got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised
Land when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
11. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
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Originally Posted by Beemer
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