Kittens - NOW!

[Motu]

I hadn't seen the stray mother cat for a week,but she was looking well fed and in good condition.But when I came home from my ride my daughter was there and said she had seen her that morning,and looking in bad shape scraggy and really thin,she could feel her ribs.As we haven't been feeding her she brought some cat food for me to give her when she turned up....which she did,and not looking too good.She sat on my lap and I could feel things moving inside her.

Tonight I brought home a good strong cardboard box and some rags,and made a nice cozy possy for her in the carport....then I fed her.But she was having none of that.Then she came inside and was really keen on looking for a secluded spot....the wardrobe in my wife's office was her first choice.Then I moved the box up to the back porch,she thought that was pretty good,but then moved back inside....it was raining.So I moved the box inside,and after several attempts at putting her in it she stayed - a few minutes later she started having kittens.

She seems contented,kinda smug....and is purring if I stroke her.Three kittens so far,and pumping out another.I've never had kittens before.....I've also never had a cat that wasn't mine having kittens in my dinning room either! Oh boy,this wasn't planned....the perils of compassion.

Just a lead up to next month when my pregnant daughter moves in....we'll be experianced with new borns by then.The Whanau is expanding.....

[The Pastor]

MMMM time for kitty burgers. Cook it just like rabbit -stew!

[Karma]

Isn't there a thing about keeping pregnant women away from cats or something?

[SARGE]

I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous
manner.

The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me
and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash
into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as
a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

Yes, there are still two very large dogs in the backyard.
There have been for several years. I don't have to act
as if I've just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe
each time one of them appears in my window.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are
trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these
days, it will really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and
attempt to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the
family room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are
*not* a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to back light my lovely
tail.

I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need
my help installing a new board in her computer.

I will not bring the city police to the front door by stepping
on the speaker phone button and then the automatic 911 dial
button.

I will not speed dial the overseas numbers.

I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing
important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters), stay in the
house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay
outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free
in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

I will not stalk the deer in the apple orchard next door.
They have sharp hooves and could hurt me if they weren't
laughing so hard.

I will not watch the guinea pig constantly as the guinea pig
likes to sleep once in a while.

The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to
remain in its bowl.

I will not put a live mole in my food bowl and expect it to
stay there until I get hungry.

I will not eat spider plants and hallucinate behind the
toilet.

I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding
up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so
that they adhere to the underside.

I will learn to relax at the vet's office so they will start
writing things in my records like "Good Kitty"
and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that's there now like
"MEAN!!" "BITER!!!" and "GET HELP!!!!!"

I will not be miffed at my human all day and then kiss
her on the nose at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that she is
forgiven and can now pet me.

I will not scratch the children of lawyers, no matter
how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail.

If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion
that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my
toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live
cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

I will not soak my catnip toy in the water bowl to make tea.
I will not get high and sit there drinking my tea and kneading
the floor afterwards. I will not then get delusions of
grandeur and make tea in the toilet bowl or the tub. And I
will not try to make tea with used socks, dirty panties or
hair scrunches when my humans take the catnip toy away from
me.

A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap.

[Lissa]

Isn't there a thing about keeping pregnant women away from cats or something?

Yes, pregnant women shouldnt be around kittens, I think its more to do with their umm pooh (toxoplasmosis) so if you keep them, you better be the one emptying the litter tray.

Gee would love to see a cat that could read, write and do what its told sarge.

[Ixion]

They get obsessed with wardrobes at that stage (cats, I mean).

If your daughter starts hanging round the wardrobe door, call professional help

Congratulations , Granddad.

Sort of humbling that she trusts you taht much isn't it (the cat I mean)

[SARGE]

Yes, pregnant women shouldnt be around kittens, I think its more to do with their umm pooh (toxoplasmosis) so if you keep them, you better be the one emptying the litter tray.

Gee would love to see a cat that could read, write and do what its told sarge.

they can ALL read and write and do what they are told .. but why should they ???????

[Lissa]

they can ALL read and write and do what they are told .. but why should they ???????

(men and cats have something in common then) My cat did a wee on my bed the other night, while I was in it... are you telling me she did it on purpose! Already heard the golden shower jokes on that one!

[andrea]

Isn't there a thing about keeping pregnant women away from cats or something?

yeah your right tell your daughter to keep away from the cat, something bout its bad if the cat scratches her during her pregnancy, even just a small scratch, oh well thats what i was told.

[Beemer]

yeah your right tell your daughter to keep away from the cat, something bout its bad if the cat scratches her during her pregnancy, even just a small scratch, oh well thats what i was told.

Urban myth - but yes, the risk from cat doodies is real, so don't let her empty the litterbox while she is pregnant. Wait until after she's dropped the sprog then give her the job!

[Shadows]

yeah your right tell your daughter to keep away from the cat, something bout its bad if the cat scratches her during her pregnancy, even just a small scratch, oh well thats what i was told.

Cat scratch fever can cause inflammation of the lymph nodes but it isn't a serious thing. Kittens carry more of the bacteria responsible for it.

The risk from toxoplasmosis only comes after the kid is born and is left to make sand castles in the litter box or stick its finger up the cats arse. Mum probably knows to wash her hands after playing with cat shit.

[u4ea]

just a real cute thing your doing motu.. one very lucky mummy cat..enjoy the new brood!!!!!!

[Lias]

Mmm stir fryed kitten!

[Pixie]

Cat scratch fever can cause inflammation of the lymph nodes but it isn't a serious thing. Kittens carry more of the bacteria responsible for it.

The risk from toxoplasmosis only comes after the kid is born and is left to make sand castles in the litter box or stick its finger up the cats arse. Mum probably knows to wash her hands after playing with cat shit.

It may be the cause,next time a car knocks you off your bike....

Dirt Bug Could Cause Crashes, says Survey

A Czech research group warns that a common parasite that infects between 30% and 60% of the world's population could cause crashes. The researchers warn that people with the parasitical disease toxoplasmosis were found to be 2-3 times more likely to be in a road accident. Cysts which form in the nerves and muscle tissue could reduce people's ability to concentrate, they say. The parasite Toxoplasmosis gondii is commonly found in nerve and muscle tissue but is thought to be harmless. However, the Czech research team reckons it could reduce people's ability to concentrate. Dr. Ruth Gilbert, a UK Toxoplasmosis expert, warns that the study conclusions should be treated with caution and more study is needed.

[Mental Trousers]

KITTENWAR!!!