An Old Fart's Lament

**paulj** · 7th December 2006, 18:50

It’s a warm afternoon and I decide to ride the back road to Clyde – a not particularly onerous trip – its been raining and the bog holes and track will be ‘interesting’. About halfway through I see two yappy little bikes approaching – they’re everywhere but on the track, bouncing and sliding along – it’s a couple of young punks out for the day … they roar past and I continue on my way, slightly envious of their youth, skills and bullet proof attitude.

Minutes later they’re back - buzzing me, egging me on for a race – I’m tempted but this area is no place for an old fart on a 650 – hard rocks, bogs, and long gearing – so I wave them away … feeling pissed off and wishing I was 40 years more youthful … then I’d show’m.

However I did have my moment in the sun – the Clyde track exits out onto a sealed road close to a pub/café. I’m approaching the sealed road and I spy the young punks again – helmets off now – goddam they’re barely teenagers – they’re humping their bikes onto daddy’s pickup for the trip home to mummy and lemonade! I give them a smug wave (not sure how one waves smugly!) and turn out onto the seal, gunning the bike up fully in the first few gears. They gotta at least hear that (and I didn’t miss 2nd gear either - this can happen during moments like these).

I turn down and cross the Clyde bridge and pull up in the pub cagepark, disrobe, and join some girlfriends in the garden bar – I survey the scene at the garden bar table –antipasto, wedgies (all sorts), fine wine, cool ale and a bevy of heaving mammaries, flaunting themselves in the warm afternoon sun. I’m reminded of the story about an old bull and a young bull, looking down on a herd of cows grazing in the valley below .. the young bull turns to the old bull and says “…..

But that’s another story … the young punks are at home ogling Britney on MTV or something … and for the moment, life is … good … ohhhhh yeahhhhh

**PLUG** · 7th December 2006, 18:59

Originally Posted by paulj

bevy of heaving mammarys, flaunting themselves in the warm afternoon sun.

... you got my attention ...

**Zukin** · 7th December 2006, 19:02

Originally Posted by PLUG

... you got my attention ...

And mine too

Good write up, It felt like I was there
Cheers Scott

**98tls** · 7th December 2006, 19:04

enjoyed that.............

**far queue** · 7th December 2006, 19:09

ha ha ha, great story. The old bull, young bull story's an oldie but a goody too

**NordieBoy** · 7th December 2006, 19:29

Originally Posted by paulj

I give them a smug wave (not sure how one waves smugly!) and turn out onto the seal, gunning the bike up fully in the first few gears. They gotta at least hear that (and I didn’t miss 2nd gear either - this can happen during moments like these).

Standard pipe or aftermarket?

Just checking as they may not have heard you at all

**warewolf** · 8th December 2006, 07:18

Nice. Thanks for the mammaries...

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts, and not listening to them."

**clint640** · 8th December 2006, 09:49

Good writing!

Was it you that me & me mate Paul met in Alex earlier this year when we were touring doon sooth? You were looking at the home made engine guard on his DR650?

Cheers
Clint

**Wolf** · 8th December 2006, 09:53

Damn! I was hoping you were going to say you saw them staring jealously out the pickup window at you amid the bevy of heaving mammaries as daddy drove past the pub...

Great story, Paul.

Would be great to listen to them tell their version of the story, desperately trying to sound like they're the heroes of the hour and that it doesn't really matter that daddy had to drive them home...

**XP@** · 8th December 2006, 10:24

Having said all that those kids can smile cos their dad is pretty cool... I hope they appreciate what he does for them :-)

**Ruralman** · 8th December 2006, 21:03

Originally Posted by warewolf

Nice. Thanks for the mammaries...

That quote of yours warewolf gave me the biggest laugh for a while - bling to you mate.
Hey great story PaulJ - how about popping in to the Fat Badger tommorrow as we go through on our trip to Otematata - we're meeting there around 12 for lunch. Great to have another "almost local" KB'r

**paulj** · 10th December 2006, 06:26

Hey great story PaulJ - how about popping in to the Fat Badger tommorrow as we go through on our trip to Otematata - we're meeting there around 12 for lunch. Great to have another "almost local" KB'r

Didn't quite make it - hacking up a Ventura pack rack took the best part of the morning dammit - and I thought it was just bolt on and fire up! - I'll be exiting out into your fair town for a shower and ale around or just before New Year - from crossing through the Lammermoors and Old Dunstan Road - if you're about

**Wolf** · 10th December 2006, 06:49

Originally Posted by paulj

hacking up a Ventura pack rack took the best part of the morning dammit - and I thought it was just bolt on and fire up!

So did Lias just before the Cold Kiwi so we popped down to the basement parking area during lunch to put it on.

Then we discovered it had to be mounted on the rear suspension mounts.

Fotunately his bike was already booked in for a service so he got the shop to install the pack rack while they were at it for negligible extra cost - they had to disassemble the entire rear end of the bike to get the shocks off.

**paulj** · 11th December 2006, 05:01

Originally Posted by clint640

Good writing!

Was it you that me & me mate Paul met in Alex earlier this year when we were touring doon sooth? You were looking at the home made engine guard on his DR650?

Cheers
Clint

Hi Clint - I don't think so - I am very recent to the bike scene here and out the gate literally is a trail biker's wet dream, I don't venture out onto the roads much at all - even to get petrol!

PJ