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Thread: ahh s*(%...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    25th January 2004 - 06:14
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    ahh s*(%...

    Hey gang, this might be funny but it's true,

    My friend from work comes around last weekend to get a copy made of a CD and wanted to use my burner. Afterwards we pop into my garage to check out my bike which I have on jackstands and minus the fairings and rear tyre.
    The bro goes, "Hey I've got a table that's just the right height. We can lift the gixx onto it and you can work on it at the suitable height, no more bending down, etc". I says "Yep let's give it a go"
    Whips around to his digs comes back with this old "trestle table" you know the ones where you set up a cake stall in the middle of town with, the ones that shake like a fox terrier in the cold when you give it a nudge. I go "Ummm", he goes "no probs if I can get my quad on top and work on it then your bike should be no probs". Now my mate's a gung ho Pom and he seemed to be on a mission so being the nice person that I am I relented. Shit me.
    We collapse the table down with it's legs folded and manage to roll the bike onto it and replace the jackstands under the swingarm. He then attaches ratchet ties downs around the frame and swingarm and loops it around the table itself. I'd been scratching my head until the light went off. "Ahh, fuck we're not going to lift the whole thing up and hopefully the legs will fall down are we"? "Yep... heeheehee." Barrsstaaad!!
    So one either side at the rear end he counts 1-2-3 lift. Straining our ring pieces luckily the rear pair of trestle legs unfolds. At this time the bike is starting to slowly but surely slide forward and off the jackstands.
    We quickly gather ourselves and lift the front end up and yes the front legs unfold (with a bit of help by yours truly kicking them into position). After again straining our rings and deserving of a new pair of undies we stand back and admire the fruits of our efforts. "Ahh fuck the table's gonna snap in the middle (major, major sag in the middle due to weakness of table and weight of bike). The bro goes, "get under it and prop it upwith your foot and I'll shoot home and get a bracing pole bro". Bastarrrd!!
    When he returns, the brace's max height doesn't quite reach the underside of the table except for the addition of a piece of 4X2. Right, the brace needs to be pushed / wedged into position. "Hey bro, gotta sledgehammer?" Second mistake. Piece of advice people. Never, ever, ever give a sledgehammer to a Pom. Like sticking thunderbolts and double happys in the hands of a 7 year old. He wacks the brace into place and the table with bike atop shudders dangerously. There you go bro, no probs. (Pom steals a quick glance at his watch then goes) "well see ya bro got things to do, people to see" and pisses off. So therefore I've got my bike atop this shakyaz trestle table.
    So it prompted me to look into trying an engine crane to hoist the bike off this table and back onto the floor in the meantime while I make a more suitable (but definitely stronger) work table.

    Now I know there have got to be other backyard mechs who've done out-of-stuff like this - I know I'm not the only one... oh God please don't let me be the only dumb fuck on this site.

    ching

  2. #2
    Join Date
    11th November 2002 - 13:00
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    2001 Yamaha FAZER 600S
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    What`s your problem mate?Good bit of Pom engineering expertise there,now all you`ve got to do is get one of those rotating table things that they use when icing birthday cakes,get a mate each end to lift the Gixx/table unit THEN you get another mate to slide the cake stand under and you`ve got yourself a rotating workbench on the cheap and it might not even collapse if you`re lucky,hard to please you lot.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    30th March 2004 - 11:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by ching_ching
    So it prompted me to look into trying an engine crane to hoist the bike off this table and back onto the floor in the meantime while I make a more suitable (but definitely stronger) work table.
    ... or you could just kick the trestle legs out from under it.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Chingster
    Now I know there have got to be other backyard mechs who've done out-of-stuff like this - I know I'm not the only one... oh God please don't let me be the only dumb fuck on this site.
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  4. #4
    Join Date
    5th January 2004 - 11:00
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    All sounds good to me Ching! Nothing broken, nothing fallen off...well not yet anyway!
    My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.

  5. #5
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    18th April 2004 - 19:47
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    well it all sounds a little stressful to me, we do most of our work on the back porch, better light than in the shed and a little less hazardous underfoot, but as for putting a bike on a table to work on it, well I'd rather suspend it from the rafters on ropes to get it at the right height, it helps getting wheels off etc too and it is definately easier on the back, gotta laugh though imagining the expression on your face. classic

  6. #6
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    30th May 2004 - 14:22
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    What a pharkin good larf that was!! It sounds all to familiar but fear of my lufe prevents me going into details here. 'Nuff said, cept i can relate all to well to this scenerio.

  7. #7
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    3rd July 2003 - 12:00
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    Gawd, that's hilarious ching... you poor bastard.



    If you were in jaffaland I'd fully volunteer to head over and help lift it back down again...
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  8. #8
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    25th April 2003 - 11:00
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    F-ing hilarious alright!


  9. #9
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    24th October 2003 - 12:01
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    Give up working on it and just go back to riding it. Sounds safer, especially for the bike.

    PS Next time your mate helps you, can you get a picture. Ha Ha Ha

    It's all good as long as your'e still smilin!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    12th January 2004 - 12:00
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    Where's the pics?? sounds bloody hilarious
    Drew for Prime Minister!

    www.oldskoolperformance.com

    www.prospeedmc.com for parts ex U.S.A ( He's a Kiwi! )

  11. #11
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    5th September 2003 - 12:00
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    sorry to be repetitious, but shit that's funny!!!!!

    (good luck with getting it down - you've got a couple of months till the weather warms up a bit!!)

    Being frustrated is disagreeable.

    But the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    25th January 2004 - 06:14
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    Haven't got a digital cam peeps. Hopefully I can borrow one before I set the baby atop a more solid bench.

    ching_ching

  13. #13
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    25th January 2004 - 06:14
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    proof is in the puddings bro...

    Quote Originally Posted by DEATH_INC.
    Where's the pics?? sounds bloody hilarious
    Hi folks,

    Well managed to get the use of the Pom mates digital camera. Not high resolution but hey, just to show-off the fruits of our labours. Remember viewers definitely do not try this at home... like I did. Oh yeah in the first pic are the first beginnings of a more sturdy motorbike workbench.

    Regards people,

    ching_ching
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  14. #14
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    25th April 2004 - 16:49
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    Great photos I wont laugh like everone else

  15. #15
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    12th September 2003 - 12:00
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    Nice. But how the hell are you going to get it down?

    Maybe some rope suspended from the roof, pull out the trestle table, and then lower the bike down...

    All this beautiful weather and you stuck with the bike up on a trestle.

    I feel for you chingster.
    And I to my motorcycle parked like the soul of the junkyard. Restored, a bicycle fleshed with power, and tore off. Up Highway 106 continually drunk on the wind in my mouth. Wringing the handlebar for speed, wild to be wreckage forever.

    - James Dickey, Cherrylog Road.

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