Hey gang, this might be funny but it's true,
My friend from work comes around last weekend to get a copy made of a CD and wanted to use my burner. Afterwards we pop into my garage to check out my bike which I have on jackstands and minus the fairings and rear tyre.
The bro goes, "Hey I've got a table that's just the right height. We can lift the gixx onto it and you can work on it at the suitable height, no more bending down, etc". I says "Yep let's give it a go"
Whips around to his digs comes back with this old "trestle table" you know the ones where you set up a cake stall in the middle of town with, the ones that shake like a fox terrier in the cold when you give it a nudge. I go "Ummm", he goes "no probs if I can get my quad on top and work on it then your bike should be no probs". Now my mate's a gung ho Pom and he seemed to be on a mission so being the nice person that I am I relented. Shit me.
We collapse the table down with it's legs folded and manage to roll the bike onto it and replace the jackstands under the swingarm. He then attaches ratchet ties downs around the frame and swingarm and loops it around the table itself. I'd been scratching my head until the light went off. "Ahh, fuck we're not going to lift the whole thing up and hopefully the legs will fall down are we"? "Yep... heeheehee." Barrsstaaad!!
So one either side at the rear end he counts 1-2-3 lift. Straining our ring pieces luckily the rear pair of trestle legs unfolds. At this time the bike is starting to slowly but surely slide forward and off the jackstands.
We quickly gather ourselves and lift the front end up and yes the front legs unfold (with a bit of help by yours truly kicking them into position). After again straining our rings and deserving of a new pair of undies we stand back and admire the fruits of our efforts. "Ahh fuck the table's gonna snap in the middle (major, major sag in the middle due to weakness of table and weight of bike). The bro goes, "get under it and prop it upwith your foot and I'll shoot home and get a bracing pole bro". Bastarrrd!!
When he returns, the brace's max height doesn't quite reach the underside of the table except for the addition of a piece of 4X2. Right, the brace needs to be pushed / wedged into position. "Hey bro, gotta sledgehammer?" Second mistake. Piece of advice people. Never, ever, ever give a sledgehammer to a Pom. Like sticking thunderbolts and double happys in the hands of a 7 year old. He wacks the brace into place and the table with bike atop shudders dangerously. There you go bro, no probs. (Pom steals a quick glance at his watch then goes) "well see ya bro got things to do, people to see" and pisses off. So therefore I've got my bike atop this shakyaz trestle table.
So it prompted me to look into trying an engine crane to hoist the bike off this table and back onto the floor in the meantime while I make a more suitable (but definitely stronger) work table.
Now I know there have got to be other backyard mechs who've done out-of-stuff like this - I know I'm not the only one... oh God please don't let me be the only dumb fuck on this site.
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