Depression...

**Macktheknife** · 7th February 2007, 08:33

Originally Posted by Weasel

Not if you do it properly.

Depression, it's a tricky one really, I think we all get depressed at one point or another, it's just having the ability to mentally give yourself a smack in the face and move on eh.

Actually Weasel, that is not the same thing at all. Getting depressed and having depression are about as different as a Harley from a Superbike. Yes they are both motorcycles in the broadest sense, but are they really comparable? not really. Broadly similar but oh so different.
Those with depression know that it almost feels like there is an intruder in your head, taking over your feelings. There are times when despite your best efforts to 'feel better' about your situation, it is quite literally impossible.
Times when mood swings occur, that you know are being unreasonable and yet you cannot stop yourself from verbally lashing out at someone, and then feeling worse because you know it is not that persons fault or problem.
The biggest thing is to know you have unconditional support in at least one person, more if you can find them. This is IMHO the greatest support a friend can give a person with depression, but it is very difficult to do.

**KATWYN** · 7th February 2007, 09:29

Originally Posted by Macktheknife

The biggest thing is to know you have unconditional support in at least one person, more if you can find them. This is IMHO the greatest support a friend can give a person with depression, but it is very difficult to do.

It's the blanket over the lamp analogy. A cover or blanket ( negative attitude) when placed over the top of a light (positive attitude) snuffs the brightness of the light out. It doesn't work the other way around.

For the freinds, it gets draining on others and the support wanes over time and a depressed person finds themselves alone and isolated. And for the depressed person, the stigma of not wanting to "be negative" around others stops them from talking about their feelings or asking for help.

I take my hat off those that support unconditionally.

**James Deuce** · 7th February 2007, 10:01

Originally Posted by Kittyhawk

It's a shame that some people are so set in their ways nothing will change them...

My parents for one say "come on dont be so stupid" I've explained to them the meds, therapy, and support the rest of my rellies and friends give but they still have this in their minds....

It's a defence thing. They feel like they've failed either you, themselves, or maybe they think they're bad parents. Whatever it is, don't make it a neurosis.

**Edbear** · 7th February 2007, 11:46

Originally Posted by Kittyhawk

It's a shame that some people are so set in their ways nothing will change them...

My parents for one say "come on dont be so stupid" I've explained to them the meds, therapy, and support the rest of my rellies and friends give but they still have this in their minds....

They even said on our last phone call "it's all your fault you are like this those specialists have no idea about it and what they are talking about. They dont have families of their own so have no clue how to raise children" (how can people really think like this??)

It's obvious I will never have my parents support - they are who they are and I have to accept that and the fact they wont change for anyone or keep an open mind.

I even had a psychiatriast ring them and try to explain what depression is, and she told me she struggled to communicate!!!

Families...got to love them even if you hate them

Sad to hear that, Kittyhawk. Having one's parents' understanding and support
is so important and this doesn't help, though you're attitude and sense of wry humour tells me you're going to be okay and maybe as time goes by your parents will come round.

You obviously have a lot of caring people around you despite that so concentrate on what you have and what you can do and use this as a buffer against the negative.

**Busy** · 7th February 2007, 12:05

I've only told two people about my situation (best mate and girlfriend) and folks at phobic trust of course for the reason they wouldn't understand because it hasn't happened to them and the last thing i want to hear is "you'll be right", "snap out of it", "it's just in your head" (well der) ...
I just blame it on stress if anyone notices anything and when I go to the classes, if asked I say I am going to phizzo (helps I have an old knee injury).

I don't want to get into what is and what isn't depression as I am not a doctor but they reckon the depression adults can get is often something related to early childhood, like loosing a parent, not having a male figure (being brought up by single mum), drink, drugs ... it all goes back to finding that trigger even if it was several centuries ago

**James Deuce** · 7th February 2007, 12:09

Doctors have no clue either Busy. They experiment on you until they find something that masks the symptoms or reveals the trigger.

I know what you mean though. It isn't a vague feeling of being unhappy in relation to a single event, nor is it something that can be reasoned out of. Much like it is impossible to reason with the 'Flu virus to avoid a few days in bed.

**Indiana_Jones** · 7th February 2007, 12:11

Talking to someone helps you out I feel. I feel better to talk to someone, they normally have some sound advice to help you.

-Indy

**James Deuce** · 7th February 2007, 12:20

Not with Depression Indy.

You're describing an emotional depression fix, not "Depression". I think it needs a new name actually. Depression has been co-opted by the slightly sad.

**Macktheknife** · 7th February 2007, 13:00

Originally Posted by Jim2

Not with Depression Indy.

You're describing an emotional depression fix, not "Depression". I think it needs a new name actually. Depression has been co-opted by the slightly sad.

I agree, that was the point of the term 'clinical depression', but it seems to have been lost on many people, so perhaps a new term is in order.
The reality has not changed for most who suffer from/tolerate/live with depression but the feeling I have heard from many is that they feel 'ripped off' by the misuse of the term and that it devalues their experience and increases the misunderstanding by many people.

**avgas** · 7th February 2007, 13:18

Originally Posted by Macktheknife

The reality has not changed for most who suffer from/tolerate/live with depression but the feeling I have heard from many is that they feel 'ripped off' by the misuse of the term and that it devalues their experience and increases the misunderstanding by many people.

Most of the people who do actually suffer - keep their mouth shut and do not say anything at all, or say little to anyone.. Some food for thought.

**yungatart** · 7th February 2007, 13:44

It is not just the sufferer who suffers....their closest friends and family suffer too. It is very hard to watch someone you love wrapped day after day in the most terrible blackness. Family members feel powerless to help, I know I did, and being one of those 'rescuer' type personalities makes it very hard.

**Motu** · 7th February 2007, 14:12

So what happened to the people who had it before they found a label? Suicide rates were lower 50 years ago.Sure,''Funny Farms'' had a lot of people in there who shouldn't of been....and now we have people out on the street who shouldn't be.Is this an epidemic generated by modern day life,or did the pyramid builders have it too?

**Macktheknife** · 7th February 2007, 14:14

Originally Posted by avgas

Most of the people who do actually suffer - keep their mouth shut and do not say anything at all, or say little to anyone.. Some food for thought.

Not quite sure how you mean this... care to elaborate?

**Ixion** · 7th February 2007, 14:32

Originally Posted by Motu

So what happened to the people who had it before they found a label? Suicide rates were lower 50 years ago.Sure,''Funny Farms'' had a lot of people in there who shouldn't of been....and now we have people out on the street who shouldn't be.Is this an epidemic generated by modern day life,or did the pyramid builders have it too?

Many 19th and early 20th century politicians experienced what would probably now be called "depression'. Churchill is one example - he was regularly in the grip of the "black dog" as he termed it.

Lord Castlereagh commited suicide while in a depressive state. Numerous other examples can be found in literature. In an earlier period a lot of depression was probably sublimated through religion - Milton springs to mind.

It is hard to be certain in any particular case, since biographies etc seldom deal over much with feelings, and probably people tended to hide such things more. But it seems unlikely that this is a modern day epidemic.