Depression...

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

In response to Kittyhawk - well done. Dope doesn't help either - my ex has been tainted by his "family's experience" (one thing happened only 27 years ago and he still thinks it was all about him hello let go) with meds, yet they are coping very well with life holding down extremely responsible and high powered jobs and raising children - with no help from their spouses so I'm told from the horse's mouth. Yet this person has been escaping reality for 20 years by using dope. Now that too is a depressant - and really affects the memory. He chooses to wallow in his own self pity. I tried helping him but he's in denial. I just find it hard to accept some people don't want to get into action and get better. Yet he dissed me big time when I broke in Oct last year some of which he contributed to, among other major life crises in a 6 month period.

BUT I got into action, yet again, it wasn't easy but hell today I have a good life. Getting rid of negative people in your life really helps.

I'm proud that I do have a spine, it takes courage and strength to get through/cope with depression, I have done it without drugs and alcohol - they are just not options for me personally, the meds have balanced my chemical imbalance - they had to lift me to a level so that I could get into action to get better.

I know who I am and what I want today. What anyone thinks of me is none of my business. I know my own truth - that is priceless as is my peace of mind and serenity today (I'm keeping in the day here). And what's more, I deserve it.

I have worked on myself solidly for 11.5 years and continue to do so - by that I mean I have had to change my attitudes, my belief systems, my behaviours. My experiences with males could have left me very bitter and twisted, but I have seen what that has done to others and it is only me that would hurt - not them. I remember thru my very nasty divorce I would pray for the bastard "God bless him and may he receive everything he deserves and may he one day know happiness" And I am by no means religious. But my mentor said just take the action. At the time I could not see how sick he was. With my latest ex - I can see how sick he is - I choose well ay!! But where as before the last one I blamed myself for Everything thought it was all my fault HA. This last time I was again taken in by a liar - the difference being at the end tho, was I am more mature, I don't blame myself, but best of all I conducted myself with honesty, courtesy, respect and dignity thru the "liaison" and after and have not lowered myself to his level. The man I fell in love with just does not exist today (if he ever did). That was hard to come to grips with but now - am so over it. Have absolutely no respect for the guy whatsoever.

I have some great platonic male friends who I can laugh and joke with, go to movies and dinner with. This is also balanced out with seeing my girlfriends on the same basis. If I worked it out right - I would never need to eat at home during the week lol. I do try not to.

I have my bike - what more do I need??

[Macktheknife]

.... Im not on here to offend,

And yet you seem to have done exactly that.

Life aint always what you make it.....its "life that makes you!!!". I will never agree that depression is a sickness.....I beleive it is self controlled. But yes I do agree that some people have a lot more self control than others, and that is possibly something that cannot be helped.

You contradict yourself, but also most of the medical world disagrees with your opinion, depression is most clearly and definitely a sickness, whether you choose to believe it or not.

But far too many people in this world take far too much pity on themselves instead of just biting the bullet and making the most of what they have! after all.....isn't that a far better idea

I agree with this statement, but that is not what this thread is about. Nor do I see any evidence of those on this thread who have shared deeply personal experiences taking far too much pity on themselves.

[Macktheknife]

I have worked on myself solidly for 11.5 years and continue to do so - by that I mean I have had to change my attitudes, my belief systems, my behaviours.

I have my bike - what more do I need??

Good onya, good to see you getting ahead BMW.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

UNDERSTANDING of 'who you are' & 'where you come from' (original family).. & WHY things are like they are.. (old childhood woundings), can change your life.. it is hard work & ongoing.. but once you start your journey, things 'happen' & each next step in your growth is presented to you.. grab it with both hands & don't let go.. it WILL get better.. your life WILL get better.. you WILL change & grow, & become a better & stronger person.

For years I poo pooed "going back to your childhood" and start from there. As far as I was concerned there was no need to blame my parents - they did the best they could. I used to say I had a normal childhood.

Took 18 months for a counsellor to get through to me. Thank god she never gave up. No wonder I was such an emotional retard. I had to learn what many people take for granted. Learn that I did matter, learn to verbalise my emotions, learn to be physically affectionate, to not cower at someone's anger, face confrontation/issues, voice what I need or would like. The hardest - sharing my emotions, good and bad - the fear was phenomenal. I am learning that having emotions is not shameful, or something to hide. My first husband (lol only had 2 - 13 years apart still didn't learn) is a wonderful man - we are the best of friends - now, he has been very helpful with regard to seeing my family in their true light. I never knew that he could not stand my father and saw right thru him.

Geez I'm suffering from verbal diarhea(sp?) today. I'm in a damned good mood for no reason - and I sure aint complaining.

I have learnt so much from this thread - mindblowing. The honest sharing and I do have to say it - especially from males - does take courage and strength. Before this thread I only knew 1 male who admitted he was on meds and that was at Xmas - he said he knew he had to do something - my respect for that guy went up 10-fold.

[MyGSXF:Me]

Getting rid of negative people in your life really helps.

I'm proud that I do have a spine, it takes courage and strength to get through/cope with depression, I have done it without drugs and alcohol - they are just not options for me personally, the meds have balanced my chemical imbalance - they had to lift me to a level so that I could get into action to get better.

I know who I am and what I want today. What anyone thinks of me is none of my business. I know my own truth - that is priceless as is my peace of mind and serenity today. And what's more, I deserve it.

I have worked on myself solidly for 11.5 years and continue to do so - by that I mean I have had to change my attitudes, my belief systems, my behaviours

Our paths sound almost identical BMW!! & isn't the journey of healing great!!!!! I too know who I am & what I want.. & have had to learn to NOT give a flying ferk what anyone else thinks.. my kids & I are all that matters to me.. & I am committed to doing everything I can to give us a good life. Getting rid of negative people makes a HUGE difference.. & through learning & healing, opens you up to attracting the right people.. as I have recently found out.. The future looks so very different to the past!!!!!

For years I poo pooed "going back to your childhood" and start from there. As far as I was concerned there was no need to blame my parents - they did the best they could. I used to say I had a normal childhood.

Took 18 months for a counsellor to get through to me. Thank god she never gave up. No wonder I was such an emotional retard. I had to learn what many people take for granted

lols.. That's the thing I learnt the most, while studying the Counselling Certificate at Tech last year..(that I graduated top of the class in, with a very high score.. & damn proud of it after all the bloody hard work I have done!!!!! ) that EVERYTHING we struggle with in adulthood, has something to do with our childhood!!

Our parents were just following their 'unconscious family patterns' too.. so we can't 'blame' them as such.. but if they/we are made aware of an issue & do nothing about it.. then yes, they/we are to blame. We are then choosing to do nothing about it, stay stuck & to live in denial.. which is where drugs, alcohol, & other addictions kick in.. & then do even more damage.

Like you BMW, I have had to UNlearn most of what I learnt as a child growing up in my family, & learn a completely new way of thinking & living. I had a gut instinct in my childhood that my family wasn't 'right', but had no idea of what 'it' was.. I searched for years without success to find what 'it' was, & then hit my early 30's when I started finding the answers. it was like a smack in the face to see it in black & white how dysfunctional my family was & still is.. they choose 'not' to learn.. & therefore stay stuck.. & wonder why I have no time for them..

I purposefully go out seeking new learning opportunities now.. & I LOVE IT. I love finding out about what makes me (& people in general) tick. It's fascinating stuff, & soooo well worth it. I don't want MY kids growing up & feeling about me, the way I have felt about my mum. My beautiful boys are my inspiration.

[Indiana_Jones]

nice to see such help and advice

-Indy

[Curious_AJ]

well, for vifferman and BMW ... i could try natural alternatives, but theyre expensive, so im not about to go spending the little money i have on that... and its not like im going to talk to my parents about any of this, so them buying it is out of the question................................ im not about to commit suicide either.. ive been put off of that a while ago now... but i did that with help from friends and myself... i dont need medical advice when all you need is a few supportive hands... i only go to the doctor if i need to have a check up for an important reason or if im extremely sick... no other times will i ever visit a doctor...

i know you guys are trying to help, but telling me to get onto more substances isnt the right way to do it, im sorry about that... and as for fish.. i do not eat animals.. and so i survive on veges and fruit anyway... that still doesnt seem to help me... its probably also a combination of stress and other things that are going on right now that are putting pressure on me... but i cant afford to take a break or quit one of the things that im doing, because i need to do all of them...

but anyways... much appreciated advice, even though i do not agree with some of it...

[DMNTD:Me]

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then -- to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn."

Some have asked where I acquired this quote....

- The Once and Future King, T.H. White

[Macktheknife]

Some have asked where I acquired this quote....

- The Once and Future King, T.H. White

I knew I recognised it, cheers mate.

[Ixion]

,, i only go to the doctor if i need to have a check up for an important reason or if im extremely sick... no other times will i ever visit a doctor...

Very wise, IMO. But I am known to be misandoctoric.

i and as for fish.. i do not eat animals.. and so i survive on veges and fruit anyway... that still doesnt seem to help me...

If you are vegetarian or vegan you can obtain omega-3 (the "good stuff" of fish oil) from flaxseed oil. A tablespoon a day . It tastes horrid but. It is not inordinately expensive, but if price is an objection, you can use rape seed oil (very cheap, from a supermarket ), 3 tablespoons a day. Also tastes horrid. But that's what you get for being a vegetarian

i could try natural alternatives, but theyre expensive, so im not about to go spending the little money i have on that...

If someone has not much money , but can has time and can access a little bit of dirt - it need not be large a few square yards, and it can even be just some earth in boxes on a balcony, you can grow many of the godly weeds of healing yourself for very little outlay. Most of them will grow in NZ with perhaps some shelter under glass.

I do not know the details myself, I have been told but I take the lazy way, I pay the money and buy the capsules and tablets. But the whole weeds are better, and you can usually have them as salads and such. I believe that in many cases (which is not to say all - for some illnesses a doctor is essential), the natural way is best. And that longstanding belief has recently been dramatically confirmed.

If you can find a sympathetic witch , she will probably be able to advise you, most of the Wicca are wise in such matters.

[Goblin]

... i only go to the doctor if i need to have a check up for an important reason or if im extremely sick... no other times will i ever visit a doctor...

i know you guys are trying to help, but telling me to get onto more substances isnt the right way to do it, im sorry about that... and as for fish.. i do not eat animals.. and so i survive on veges and fruit anyway... that still doesnt seem to help me...
but anyways... much appreciated advice, even though i do not agree with some of it...

Not surprising you are depressed. Human beings are omnivorous and need protien and iron to function properly. See the body needs the iron to carry oxygen through your bloodstream. Without enough iron you will feel lethargic, run down and depressed. You cant get all you need from fruit and veges alone. Oily fish such as tuna is high in protien and omegas. Something as simple as diet can make the world of difference. Worth a try?

There's plenty of room for all god's creatures....right next to the mashed potatoes.

[Squeak the Rat]

AJ, you say you don't want to talk to ask your parents for $$ for supplements because then you need to talk about it - which is cool. But it is important as a veggie to ensure you have the right levels of vitamins and minerals (and i assume Goblins suggestions are out of the question )

Are your olds sweet with your veginess? If so, I'd personally try sayying to them that I'm feeling a bit tired, any chance of scoring me some multi vitamins and minerals to help supplment my diet?

And just looked at ya profile - take off ya shades! Sunlight is good for mood enhancement, sunnies block out the good stuff. Unless you work outside all day you should only wear them around midday when the suns at it's most damaging......

[Curious_AJ]

for fucks sake.. this makes me so angry... i get my omega and everything else i need from things OTHER than flesh.. you DONT need it.. do not get me started.. its just another thing that makes me want to hurt people and feel really crappy... so dont...

as for flaxseed oil, i take capsules every day... so im fien with that...

as for time, i dont have any of that.. and so, i cant grow a garden of any sort.. all the plants i have ever touched have basically died because i give up on them or just dont have the time to weed and water etc etc...

and i am never, ever going to eat meat... im sorry.. i went through people forcing me to do it and i hate it... so no... never... sorry guys...

[Curious_AJ]

as for sunnies, i do not wear them a lot... so that is irrelevant... i go in the sun lots.. but all it does is burn me... i prefer rainy days anyway... soooo much better for my mood... sun makes me sad and depressed... rain and stormy weather makes me feel better...

[Goblin]

for fucks sake.. this makes me so angry...

Have you tried anger management?





















:spudwhat: someone had to say it