Channelling my inner ricer bling fetish

[gijoe1313]

Oookkkay...

I was wondering if this should go into the Electrical Maintenance thread...but seeing how frivolous and possible degeneration into a mud-slinging/racist/xenophobic/cat-calling/knock-'em-down-drag-'em-out sort of thing (the usual KB thing) ... I decided to knock it up in the general ravings (and lordy lordy, I shure am one fer raving! )

I dunno where I get it from - Xerxesdaphat hit it on the head when he referred to my "inner ricer", I had intimated in a closed series of PM's (ooer! ) that I had the intention of :

(a) Making a new fibreglass tyre hugger for my little ol'Hornet (more on this later)
(b) Doing an asian thang (I hear McJim rearing his hillbilly Scottish head and going "oots mon! It ain't a chink/spic/dago/spade/etc thang, it's just a perceived notional value derived as a class stereotyping, which blankets one ethnicity incorrectly....och ay'th'noo!" and installing an underlighting system...

Why?

'Cause I can!

So, heres how it all came together. I researched making LEDs myself ... but naff...too much hard work and getting the waterproofing considerations into perspective ... fug it... searched on Retardme...nada...Went to the holy of holies ... Fleabay!

Found some likely canidates, emailed off some queries and only ONE would ship to our little dungheap surrounded by a sea of pee and poos! Did the Pallypayee thang and waited for package...and waited...and waited...whole generations of cockroaches bred, died, waged war and loved.

Finally got a packaged tossed at me by dad "Wasting your money again on your bloody bike!!" Meyahahahah!!!! It's all mine, mine, mine! Suffice to say, I got off my arse today and did the deed ...

Wires everywhere...ignored the instructions...crimped, cut, stripped, threaded, isoprol alcamahol swabs, cable ties, twisting, swearing...and sucess!

Finding a place for the switch was a bit of a bugger...so I fashioned a holder out of a PVC pipe I nicked from a telephony site that was down the way, shoved it in, bolloxed it into a spare gubbins hole on my ride...and the deed was done!

Enuff farf'n blather... some piccies!

[gijoe1313]

Anyhoos, had fun trying to wire up the mess of spaghetti all over the place - I had a little headscratcher when I had to work out how the light switch worked (I got it right first time!)

Mr Dick, the electronic dick supplied the chocolate block to make connecting life easier, a crimping tool and some cable holders with tape backing to make it all nice and professional like.

I spent some time placing LEDs and checking with a nine-volt battery (those blocky ones where you lick the top to get a buzz off ) Cleaning the mounting points was a bugger of a job ... flakey bits of paint, road shite and my own msg, encrusted McGreasy fingers from a life of toiling in the olds fush'n'chup chop.

I wrapped all the wiring in electrical tape and made sure there wasn't going to be any crossed connections or other whatnots ... I hope!

Enuff rambling...more visual pr0n...why red LEDs? Cause reds me fave colour, it goes faster (everyone knows red ones go fasta!) and ... I just like red!

As a juxtaposed paradox, I have a blue Ford Telstar Orion! Go figger ... and yes, I will be blinging that out with underlights ... blue ones natch

[gijoe1313]

Now, I really need someone to give me the learn on taking night piccies better (Zapf?) Met a mate in town and parked up (no prizes for guessing where!) Tried to take some piccies. I then pootled around mission bay with the lights blinging on (and switching them off toot sweet if I thought the popo was around!) I was in my helmet when I saw cagers slow down ... they must've thought they were seeing things ... moving red stuff!

I did the slow route back via St Heliers, GI, Panmure, Pakuranga ... stopped off at the McBinn's .. er McJim's and did a stealth photo shoot outside their place "I'll disown you as a biker if you do that underlighting crap!" ringing in my ears from an earlier "discussion" (you don't so much discuss things with McJim, as he bashes you round the lughole with his Scots wit and deadpan, black humor )

The ride back along Chapel road in the night must have looked awesome to viewers... I got the double takes from cyclists and pedestrians when I wizzed by, I even got to use the Stebel horn once on a jaywalker...he jumped out of his shoes

Righto, time for me to shut up and get more visual imagery stuff out...

[justsomeguy]

My dear Sir,

I must commend you on the effort you've put in, the lengths to which you've ventured to personalise your vehicle and your ability to colour co-ordinate.

Job well done!!

-------

However in keeping with the spirit of this 'ere lovely phorum:

I think you're a shit-flinging, slant eyed, wretched foreigner who is a pussy homo (like boomer) that needs to get the stuffing knocked out of him and dragged down Queen St and paraded in front of a bunch of SUV driving middle aged ladies.......(There I think I've covered all the bases you mentioned --> a mud-slinging/racist/xenophobic/cat-calling/knock-'em-down-drag-'em-out sort of thing (the usual KB thing) ... )

[gijoe1313]

In reply to your jest sirrah,

I find the aformentioned racial slurs in the best possible taste, and in tradition with KB! Keep up the good work and hopefully those brown-sahib-sacred-cow-my-arse-faking-fakirs-swindling-dairy-owner-nose-picking-curry-munching-sell-your-kidney-for-a-dollar-a-day Indians will be making underlighting kits cheaper then those Chinese slant-eyed-sharkfin-eating-baby-girl-killing-organ-harvesting-charging-the-family-for-an-execution-bullet-rice-guzzlers!

Thank you for your interest and may a thousand hairy land crabs infest your leather racing crotch!

[xwhatsit]

Goddamn that looks good! A little boy-racerish for most respectable bikers... but hey, you ride a Honda, so you must be the Nicest Person, right? . Cor blimey that must stick out like dog's balls at night... no excuses for rear-ending this Hornet at the lights now is there!

Hahah I would jump out of my shoes too if I got Stebelled by a fast-moving glowing red sewing machine! Poor bastard.

Can't wait to see it in real life!

Onya,

-Tom

[gijoe1313]

Dear xerxesdaphat, notwithstanding your improper nonclemature (to wit: lack of Capital)

I thank you for your investiture of chronological segments in replying to my prose heavy and incoherent ravings. Yes, indeed, a Red Honda Sewing Machine was a device made by Mr.Honda, in fact, it was the primus genitor for his nocturnal delvings in sustaining life and soul, whilst finding a solution to his countries distressing lack of mechanical personal perambulatory devices to correct time-spatial co-ordinates of one's choosing.

Your appreciation of my attempts to coincide with those loutish owners of four wheels of mayhem is an unfortunate allusion, please refrain from making such denigrating dissertations into modes of transportation, which has no bearing on our status (to wit : two wheels of freedom)

Thank you for your correspondence, no further details will be entered into. Please kindly direct all further missives to muck-raking, trash-talking and other such rambunctious shennanigans more conducive to KB.

Sic(ugh)

PS - Now how is it you have such personal affinity for the lower exposed genitals of a canine companion? Is there something Freudian about your selection of such a metaphor? Please elucidate, elaborate, evince and equivocate a forthcoming reply that shall satisfy my curiosity!

[Deviant Esq]

Green bling to you for your styley red bling. And all installed by yourself too, good effort!
Okay, so the photos aren't the best, but they're not the worst by any stretch! If you're using an automatic digital camera, put it on night mode (pretty much need a tripod) if you want no flash but purdy lights, or night portrait if you want the flash and purdy background lights. If it's a manual digital camera, just change the shutter speed to 1 sec or thereabouts, flash optional, and you'll pretty much need a tripod for that too. Unless you're ultra steady! Good luck! But from what you've shown, not too much improvement is needed anyway. Well done that (inner ricer) man.

[gijoe1313]

Dear Deviant Esq,

Well met and your comments appreciated - I will endeavour to read my digital camera manual (to wit : RTFM!) and come to grips with its extensive capabilities. I will be practicing more camera work, since it seems to be an inner ricer channelling thing (to wit : Zapf)

It so happens I do have a tripod, which I purchased from a sojourn to my mother(f**king) country! Purchased at a nominal price, which means it could only have been made with slave/prison labour.

I will be repeating this excercise in taking night photos since my motor vehicle (to wit : two wheels of freedom) is now so adroitly equipped for nocturnal activities of a different nature.

Most informative and excellent your contribution has been. Very unlike KB. You are a gentleman and scholar of the highest order. If this insults you, then I will back-hand the compliment and say thank you for your lumpen proletariat utilitarian skill base, which you hoi-polloi seem to be so quick on the uptake of!

Yours in reclusiam

[justsomeguy]

In reply to your jest sirrah,

I find the aformentioned racial slurs in the best possible taste, and in tradition with KB! Keep up the good work and hopefully those brown-sahib-sacred-cow-my-arse-faking-fakirs-swindling-dairy-owner-nose-picking-curry-munching-sell-your-kidney-for-a-dollar-a-day Indians will be making underlighting kits cheaper then those Chinese slant-eyed-sharkfin-eating-baby-girl-killing-organ-harvesting-charging-the-family-for-an-execution-bullet-rice-guzzlers!

Thank you for your interest and may a thousand hairy land crabs infest your leather racing crotch!

You're welcome o' articulate one.

I look forward to seeing your steed in person where I may bestow on it all the blessings from under the skies we live in and skirts we peek under - with good will and good fortune using the powers I have been given by real fakirs - who worshipped the cows (who ran away with half their money) they held sacred - - - and wealth from the tills of a million dairies earned honestly without selling any kidneys or expired packets of curry for two dollars fifty-- so that with these blessings one day you may find more accessories.

Thank you for thanking me for my interest and may a zillion hairless vampire bats eat away at whatever part of you needs eating away at, to make you comfortable with your choice of motorcycle manufacturers.

Thank you, come again

...........................

*starts wondering how long he can keep this tirade up with someone who for a living imparts words and their meanings to younglings eager to educate themselves...... decides he has no hope, so rides straight through a stop sign, crosses the yellow line 3.75 times while overtaking a moderator in a cage around the outside on a blind left hand corner, cutting off a newbie and a veteran sprot bike rider in the process and heads straight for his hiding place under his bed..........*

[Fat Tony]

LOL at this thread

Right I'm crap with words so won't even bother tyring to enter in to the spirit of things. Just one quick question, are LEDs used in this way legal on the road in NZ? Here in the UK, you'd get stopped every few miles, served a rectification notice, and fined for having red lights visible anywhere other than your stop light

[gijoe1313]

Dear representative of the mafioso variety,

Yes, to ride with "running lights" is an illegal dalliance into the vernacular of the law of the land. I was espying my entrance with said contrivances to test said devices.

It is an offence which is enforced with the passing of liquid assets and a stern talking to. I am well aware of this, but felt the need to let my "inner riceness" come to the fore. Your awareness of legal issues is in contravenance of one of your persuasion I take it? When vehicle is stationary and not in a movement of velocity which impels it pass the stationary status quo is when the ambulatory predations of our enforcement model will bear upon the hapless citizen minding his own two wheels (to wit : all moving motor vehicles, but I digress) ... this conundrum apparantly excludes marine vessels, which apparantly need the use of pre-approved lighting configurations to ensure that a run-about does not come into conflict with a large supermarine vessel (to wit : Supertanker)

Thank you for you directness in the conservation of words, your perspacity in other threads has often left me in that convention of ROFLMAO. I shall not deign to explain such an acronym as it shall leave me bereft of dignity (to wit : I lost that long ago in another space-time continuum), for further egress I will now stop supplicating my response with further addendums.

[Fat Tony]

(runs off to www.dictionary.com)

*EDIT - Aha, as I thought: "No results found for perspacity. Did you mean perspicacity?"

(OK, so I had no idea if it was/wasn't a word and no idea what it meant if it was)

[Deviant Esq]

Impressive articulation gijoe1313. It belies the apparantly somewhat unjustified assumtion one could make with reference to such an uncompromsing forum identity (G I Joe), which would appear to speak of one of somewhat diminished cranial quality. But contrare! For it is alive and well in this particular sapient being. Consider yourself saluted!

...

[avgas]

I just saw some bling (woke me up), round the corner from my house a honda accord with CHrome ROH POS's hit a barrier.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
YAY 4 RED LED's, but dont ride with them - its like riding with an body tied down on the back...not good