Crashes That You Walked Away From.

[vifferman]

Gargre floor pretty handy with a needle and thread then?

Ha ha. How 'bout:
"...split my face open, cracked my eyebrow and nose, wrecked the rotator cuff in my shoulder, and got cuts in my face that required 8 stitches to close. When I went to A&E. After recovering from carking it on the kitchen floor. As you do. After semi-severe trauma. When you have a low tolerance of pain. And you're a wuss."

Actually, it was quite funny in some ways. Firstly, we'd just moved into our house, and I was trying to make the most of my 'spare' time by doing as many jobs as possible to fix up the shit-heap we'd bought. I thought I could fit in one more job before dinner, and went to the gargre in my sox to get a caulking gun. As you do. The WankerMobile was parked against the back wall of the gargre so I could get my VF500 in through the narrow door to park it between the cars, so naturally I took a shortcut along the bumper bar. In my sox... As you do...
Secondly, when I realised I'd done a moderate amount to fuck my face and shoulder (I could see blood all over my shirt sleeve), I thought I'd beter go inside. When my wife saw the blood, she went "What have you done to your arm?!?" I said, "Nothing - have a look at my face." She went "OH MY GOD!!", then I collapsed in heap, dead to the world, only she thought I really was dead, and was calling me, shaking me, etc.
When I came to (not a pleasant experience), she abandoned dinner, and got the boys organised so we could go in the car, and told them to send the neighbour's kid home. So they did: "Amos! Go home!!" So he did, thinking no doubt, "WTF have I done?!?" (or the 8-year-old equivalent), and we didn't see him again for WEEKS.
In the car, I'm lying on the reclined front seat, and the kids are in the back. Michael is squeamish (like me), goes into shock, and throws up all over the floor. Oh dear...
So after the bleeding and the waiting and the poking and proddings, and stitching and injecting and the dribbling of anaesthetic in the eye (now THAT feckin hurts!), and the getting of droogs, we go home, and poor Mrs FS has to get me settled in a comfy chair, resurrect dinner, put the boys to bed, and clean the vomit out of the car.
The crap wives have to put up with.....
Luckily, she was out of town for a few days when I last busted myself up, so I had a few days to prepare....

Oh yeah - when I went back to work (only been in my job a few weeks), with a black eye, stitches, and sticking plaster, my workmates wanted to know what I'd done to piss my wife off so badly.

[svs]

I thought these were all supposed to be crashes that you walked away from ... :confused2

So here's one to get your faith in crashing back. First meeting out on RGV supersport at Knockhill in Scotland, did one lap trying to warm the bike up - taking it easy. Came over the start line at about 140k and gently touched the front brake - front wheel instantly locked and tucked under. I spent the next 200 meters sliding on my arse watching the fibreglass and other metal bits being slowly ground off the bike in a pile of sparks and smoke.

Must have looked pretty impressive from the pits cos they sent the ambulance straight out.

I got up and walked away. No harm done. (Well leathers and gloves were pretty much hosed). Managed to buy a second hand set of leathers from someone in the pits, and was out racing the next day

Morals of the story:
1) Always check that brakes arn't sticking after sitting in garage over winter.
2) Always wear decent leathers

[vifferman]

I thought these were all supposed to be crashes that you walked away from ... :confused2

Of course not. Any thread like this very quickly degenerates into mass story telling mode. As for me, well, I've never been totally unable to walk after a crash. In fact, after the last one, I had to hobble for what seemed like miles at A&E to ring for a taxi. At least they gave me an orderly to carry my bag. A wheelchair would've been better.

[svs]

Of course not. Any thread like this very quickly degenerates into mass story telling mode.

Since I have to be at work, then what better way to spend a friday morning than reading a bunch crashing stories. Not quite as good as sitting down the pub listening to crash stories over a pint though , but then again, I'm easily amused

[Paul in NZ]

Dunno if dirt bikes count?

Triumph engined, Rickman Metisse’ valiantly struggling to hold back the sons of Nippon (and failing).

Usual boys day out, load the bikes into the ’39 Ford barrel nose truck and off to the river bed playground. Long looping track through trees, up, down and along stop banks. Brilliant day.

After a Barbie for lunch and a couple of beers the world is lookin mighty fine. The big leap up a natural clay bank between 2 old man pines where the roots hold it all together is looking less of a challenge. You couldn’t hit it too fast as a few feet past the landing zone you climbed up onto the top of the stop bank and did a hard right to run along the top. You certainly did NOT want to land on the uphill bit of the bank as you would bury yourself nose deep in the dirt….

Try as I might I just could not catch those bloody jap 2 strokes…. They had shit like power, lightness, suspension and talent. Hardly fair! Luckily I had been drinking beer and that was my secret weapon. Stupidity!

I decided that if I got up enough speed I could probably jump onto the top of the stop bank and just make the right hander….

Oh! I got up plenty of speed alright…..

I do remember looking DOWN at the right hander at the top of the stop bank as I sailed majestically over and realizing that this was going to hurt. Probably significantly….

Luckily it was lower on the other side of the bank and a relatively gentle slope so I came to earth fairly gently on the down hill side which didn’t wreck the bike. Sadly there was a barbed wire fence at the bottom of the stop bank which did wreck me as we sailed through it….

The spectators were VERY impressed with the noise and dust caused buy the landing and the string of expletives issued in the silence that followed.

While I did walk away (if, for the purposes of this story, crawling is allowed as walking) I have ever since developed a flinch when it comes to jumping dirt bikes and the rip in the groin of my leather trousers is mighty to behold.

Next I will tell the terrible tail of how vanity wrecked my thumb

[Blakamin]

Fourth bike: Nada (although I had some moments, like the tang on the centrestand levering the rear wheel off the ground, and bad headshake from a crappy 16" Dunlop Arrowmax).

Are arrowmax really that bad (he asks coz he's running 2)

[riffer]

Dunno if dirt bikes count?

I think it has been well proven not only in this thread but throughout the entire existence of kiwibiker that it is nigh on impossible to have fun on a dirt bike without falling off at least once per session

Tell us the story of the thumb now, please....

[celticyankee]

1994, USA, June, 8:30am, clear, magical sunny summer day, on me way out to Laconia Bike week races for a week, less than 2 miles from home with couple hundred miles to go, sitting in traffic on a 2 lane bridge hundreds of feet above rushing river below.......heard that awful sound of screeching brakes behind me, check mirror and see 1 HUGE front end of a tanker truck coming on me fast, no time to react cept maybe mumble a wish to let me survive.....truck hits me, I fly into car in front of me, smash back window, bounce off and fly backwards onto pavement, open my eyes to see tire of tanker inches from my face, roll over and wonder why I'm looking at undercarriage of behemoth truck.....adreniline kicks in and I crawl out from under truck once it stopped to see the driver standing there in front of me ....what does he say??? Sorry??? Are you ok???? Noooooooooo, he looks at me and says "Shit, I'm having a bad day! I was looking for a payphone across bridge and didn't see you!"

WTF!!!! I don't know how, guess it was adreniline, but I got to me feet and went after him with me helmet swinging and the dickhead locked himself in truck till cops came........I was lucky, only concussion (sp?), ripped rotator cup in shoulder and assorted other broken bones.....cops were cool though, begged them not to hoist my bike on tow truck (as they were loading me in ambulance) and the kind lads actually got a flatbed for my bike.....I thought that was kewl......

2nd Acciddent.......October 1996, USA, 11:00am, clear, beautiful sunny autumn day.......stopped on 2 lane road to take left turn, ( I was directly in front of friends house who I was going to see and there were about 30 or so fellow riders in driveway waiting for me as it was an annual Halloween Run we were about to go on. They witnessed the whole thing) gave hand signal and had directional blinking......17 yr old eejit in Camaro comes flying up behind me and proceeds to hit me full bore without braking and throws me & bike about 100 feet down the road, I get thrown into on coming traffic and run over by car coming in opposite direction.....broken wrist, leg, fingers, arm, ribs and serious facial injuries (thank god for amazing doctors, can't even see scars now).

Driver of car faired worse than me when friends got through with him, Poor bastard probably still can't walk right.

Luckily both times I was in full leathers and had helmet on (open face) even though I always caught shit from friends for wearing helmet in a state that didn't require them.

Lessons learned? DON'T stop in morning traffic, wear full face helment and leathers at all times and when adreniline kicks in, you can do almost anything till the pain takes over.

Safe Journeys to all

[vifferman]

Are arrowmax really that bad (he asks coz he's running 2)

I can't really offer an opinion on whether they're any good or not in general terms, but either the one on the VF was badly fitted and/or not balanced, or it was just wrong for the bike. If I didn't have two hands on the handlebars, I'd get a bit of wobble in the front end, and if I took both hands off, I'd get really bad headshake. The Metzeler that was on the bike before that, and the one afterwards were fine, but apparently they were the best for the VF500, according to the guy who fitted the second one. It may have been the profile (the ME33 was quite rounded, whereas the Dunlop was triangular in profile), or the tread pattern, or just a crap tyre. I do know that after the Arrowmax was replaced, I nearly fell off on the first corner, as it was so radically different. With a 16" wheel, I suspect it wouldn't take much to upset it.

[Paul in NZ]

Paul the Thumb

If you meet me, you will eventually notice handsome countenance, charming wit and eventually, my deformed left thumb. This is the story of how vanity caused it’s ruin.

I’d just started work and as low peg on the board was subjected to all the usual ‘70’s work place humour of my elders. I’d been riding my all black 1956 Triumph 5T to work rain and shine. While it was a great wee bike, it had a terrible failing as a commuter motorcycle. It had no stand. The mainstand had abandoned ship some time in the past and the side stand lug was torn from the bottom frame rail.

Luckily, Triumph had understood that vehicle like this might encounter the occasional mishap and equipped the beast with a tank top rack. Ideal for carrying a lump of wood to hold the bike up! Down side was that this was a pretty uncool look so I used to leave a lump of wood at work. (simple solutions work the best)

The big chuckle was to hide my lump of wood as I arrived. (bastards)

I’d have to park the Trumpy in the deep gutter out front and enjoy all the predictable jokes along the lines of that’s where it belongs etc etc. Enough was enough, action had to be taken! This was a very un-cool situation!

Scanning the ‘for sale’ adds I spy! 1958 BSA A7SS (etc etc) at an attractive price, so I ring the owner and arrange to see the beast. Wowsers! Purple metalflake (non of yer poxy metallics, real in your face metalflake) a bit of extra chrome and very sexy , chrome reverse cone meggas. Cor! It was definitely a looker and seemed to run great. The owner was an older guy that did it up a bit and used it for riding to work. Best of all, it had a great mainstand. (and I looked WAY cool on it)

Piggybanks were raided and a deal was done.

On the ride home, the stand (reason for buying the bike) fell off and I rode over it…. Hmm! The lesser gods of motorcycling were trying to tell me something… Naturally I didn’t take the hint.

From that first ride, I had a ‘troubled’ relationship with this bike.

During a bit of harmless ‘wottleshedomister’ speed testing with Andy keeping station on the T120V the gear lever abandoned ship and clouted his knee. Dead funny when he fell over coming to a stop swearing like a good un.

The clutch cable broke at a very odd moment provoking a wheelie and a tumble…

And then, a couple of months later we were leaving a party in the country to go get a hamburger. Andy was hugging the kerb on the T120V with a girl he had just met and I was outside him on the purple Beezer as we swept down the hill in a world of noise and into the sweeping left hander. The lefthander that had a farmers drive on the outside. A farmer that had just re graveled his driveway. Gravel that had spread over the road…..

Andy missed it, I hit it and after a brief display of sparks, woke up in a ditch wondering how the &*^% I got there and whats that noise? The bike? Oh shit, the bike was revving it’s head off in the road so I leapt up and ran out to switch it off.

I’d just picked it up and turned everything off when Andy came back to find me.

Usual stuff…. “You OK?” “Yeah, what happened???”

Girlfriend… “Look at your leg…. “

Me… “Arrgghhh!” (new Wranglers in tatters and blood everywhere)

Andy, “Stuff your leg, look at your hand”

Me…. “ Oh OH!” (insert extremely naughty word here) The formerly pink fleshy thumb was sticking in tatters out of my glove looking very white and boney and spurting blood in time with my rapidly pumping heart…. Not good.

Girlfriend jumps off the Triumph, I hand her the bent beezer. “Here, hang on to this, push it in the ditch and go back to the party”. Andy turns the Bonnie around shouting, “quick, we gotta get ya to horse piddle” (or something) so I tie my scarf around the hand (I knew I had a clean hankie someplace) and leap onto the Bonnie piloted by a now very VERY excitable lad not known for his calm and sedate riding style.

Brother. What a ride. We were flying but managed to run off the road twice into the grass and once into a ditch where we slid around but managed to end up in the right direction and back on the road. We rode right past Princess Margaret Hospital in a panic to get to central (d’uh) and going down Barrington Street at about 120kph we get passed (1 line each side) by the steely eyed Epitaph Riders (gang war going on) and SERIOUSLY monstered by the lads. By now the pain was kicking in and I was going a whiter shade of pale while holding on by biting the collar of Andy’s leather jacket. Waving my mangled hand around I managed to communicate that we were hurt, spurting claret and in a big hurry (and quite possibly suffering from rabies) so if you were going to beat us up, please get on with it! We were given the sort of free passage and a VERY wide berth that one reserves for bag ladies and homeless homicidal maniacs..

We rode through town flat out….. Andy utterly gunned the Bonnie (in case the gang changed it’s mind) and we went hell for leather into the ambulance loading area, sliding it sideways to a halt, flipping out the side stand and dragging me off all in one easy, adrenalin fueled movement. He was so pumped he had NO IDEA where he was going so he took me to Patient Enquiries where he grabbed an orderly by the scruff of the neck and said ‘Ere, Me mates fucked his thumb’ and showed it to him causing a fresh geyser of red stuff to erupt all over his ledger. (Mr Orderly became quite dis-orderly at this treatment and somewhat churlishly pointed us in the right direction)

Finally we got to Out Patients and I was shown to a cubicle where I got to lay down and a nice nurse gave me a shot of the good stuff…. Oh YEAH baby!

Reconstructive surgery, removing gravel, attaching tendons, plastic surgery and 10 weeks off work later and I was back on the road.

The beezer was hardly damaged (handlebar and my hand bent under the tank saved it) but the first time I rode it after straightening it out, some clot in a Mk2 Zodiac turned into his driveway right over the top of me. I remember laying in the gutter, again, protecting the bike from damage as the hot exhaust burned it’s way through another pair of jeans and thinking, “this bike has GOT to go”.

Sold it next weekend to the first guy that saw it. Saw him a few weeks later and he reckoned it was the best bike he had ever owned…..

[Milky]

reading through this makes me think two things... firstly that I am blessed that I havent had any serious or fatal accidents in my time riding. Just as soon as the warm glow of self-appreciation sets in, my subconcious tells me that the bikers on this site are probably much more capable riders than myself, and that if I havent had any of these terrible accidents yet, then they must surely be just around the corner :s

^ooo i think i get top marks for that metaphor

[Blakamin]

Paul the Thumb

Me…. “ Oh OH!” (insert extremely naughty word here) The formerly pink fleshy thumb was sticking in tatters out of my glove looking very white and boney and spurting blood in time with my rapidly pumping heart…. Not good.

Ouch

[Blakamin]

I can't really offer an opinion on whether they're any good or not in general terms, but either the one on the VF was badly fitted and/or not balanced, or it was just wrong for the bike.

Hmmm...i got a 17" for starters..... but the old owner was not one for corners so its a bit square. I was going to buy another next week but I might just have to have a bit more of a look into the front tyre situation.


Thanks

[vifferman]

Hmmm...i got a 17" for starters..... but the old owner was not one for corners so its a bit square. I was going to buy another next week but I might just have to have a bit more of a look into the front tyre situation.

Yeah, sounds like my tyres when I bought the FahrtSturm - the previous owner had been running them underinflated, and not only were they square, but they'd done their lifetime of heat cycles.
Remember your safety is dependent on a very small area of tyre to road contact patch, so don't scrimp on tyres. An option you may want to consider is going for the same brand of tyre as on the back, but in a softer (sportier) compound, if it's available.

[Blakamin]

cheers... i just started a new thread about that so i dont hi-jack this one

Here