Avoiding the Easter Hood ornament collection....

**gijoe1313** · 5th April 2007, 09:12

Well, the day was fine, birds singing and my little ol'Hornet firing up it's usual sweet tune. I was pootling my way to school for the final day of minding those little cherubs. The road was long and straight, just me and a dear old thing in a little car, driving in the opposite lane. Usual biker habits kicking in, she's slowing down - no indicators. So as you do, you wash off speed and cover those levers a little more (I always ride with my levers covered!

)

Well, all fine and dandy, I had my visor up - no sunnies and was making eye contact with her, I even did the little slalom approach for that extra attention grabbing bling (double check to make sure I don't have my flashies blinking away also).

And it went to custard from there.

Just as I almost come up to her, she decided to plant the foot and make the turn

I didn't have turn to swear, give her a nice finger or a blast of stebel goodness

Time slowed down, I could feel my orifices closing and opening at the same time (you decide which, I, for the life of me couldn't!

)

Emergency braking, looking for the safe way out to the right (left is a big no-no!), stop emergency braking, lean bike over, give it a little more gas and I miss her rear bumper by inches. I could have just patted her rear window, and if I had those streetfighter titanium knuckles I think I would have done more than pat the window!

Anyhows, heart rate drops back from a heart-pounding night club techno-thrash beat, I wipe the sudden sweat from my eyes ...

... and the road is clear, the sky is sunny and blue, birds are singing ... and I'm swearing like a sailor denied a three day pass in the fleshpits of some soddom or gomorrah-like port city.

Life is grand. I feel more alive now and left wondering how my holidays would have been if I had been laid up in the hospital healing just enough in time for the new term to start

I thought about turning around and getting her rego, but I needed to find that nice calm spot I started the day with. Just the usual near-run thing we bikers have to put up with

Ride safely out there people and avoid the Easter Hood Ornament collectors out there. They are driving and waiting to make their impression

**James Deuce** · 5th April 2007, 09:59

I'm staying home and doing some gardening. Just like I do on the first weekend of Summer and the last weekend of Summer.

**Devil** · 5th April 2007, 10:07

Heh, yeah I had someone try and change lanes into me today. Saw them coming a mile off, they were two lanes away. Picked them up as soon as they start to change to the one next to me and just waited for them to keep coming. Sure enough they did. Blast of horn, 4wd swerves back to his lane.

This one actually pulled along next to me and apologised (I think, hah had my ipod on :P).

**more_fasterer** · 5th April 2007, 10:12

Glad to hear that turned out OK. I would've turned around and kicked her door in though

Anger management what?

**Midge** · 5th April 2007, 10:14

i was riding behind a large que during busy time and sum lady decideshed pull right up beside me as if i was not there. Well did i give it to her my mate riding bitch tapped her on the bonnet she still didnt mve so she got the big boot into the side panel. I wonder if she didn't pull over to see if there was any damage (which there was) if she would have stayed trying to run me off the road.

**Griff** · 5th April 2007, 10:19

Glad to know you didn't get collected.
Do you find as I do, that it is not just the initial incident, but it is also how you react over the the next 10 seconds when the adrenalin actually kicks in?

**Deviant Esq** · 5th April 2007, 10:19

Well dealt with Joe, that could have been nasty!

By the sounds of it you handled it very well, and saved your Hornet from more nasty bumps and scrapes as well as your own hide! I would have been quite a bit grumpier than you were post near-miss though... her rego being taken would have been the least of her worries! Glad your skills were up to the test though - some people just can't see for looking!

I'll be in Paris over Easter and not on two wheels... but I'll try to avoid becoming a hood ornament anyway!

**WRT** · 5th April 2007, 10:29

Originally Posted by Devil

Saw them coming a mile off, they were two lanes away.

Faaark, with lanes that wide, filtering must be breeze! Hell, even the buses could do it!

**Macktheknife** · 5th April 2007, 10:38

Glad to hear you handled it really well mate, well done.
A timely reminder to be extra vigilant for dickhead cagers.

**Devil** · 5th April 2007, 10:59

Originally Posted by WRT

Faaark, with lanes that wide, filtering must be breeze! Hell, even the buses could do it!

I have to pretend thats a mile. My bike isn't that fast...

**Toaster** · 5th April 2007, 11:27

Good result. I've had my share of fogged up visors after swearing and cursing at arrogant and ambivalent drivers.

**Insanity_rules** · 5th April 2007, 11:57

Originally Posted by gijoe1313

Time slowed down, I could feel my orifices closing and opening at the same time (you decide which, I, for the life of me couldn't!

)

I would have shit! I love those little moments that wake you up, when a brain dead cager with too many chromosomes, too little awareness and a lot of ball face ignorance decide to see if they can remove us from the gene pool.

Those wonderful sphincter clenching, spine tingling events that lead us to love our caged brothers and sisters to death and beyond if necessary. I would have (albeit respectfully) torn the chronologically challenged tin pilot a completely new orifice and invited her to a friendly discourse as to her particular occular deficit and ensured that she learnt a lesson in courtesy for other road users.

Glad you still with us GI and I hope that the faecal resedue has long cleared.

My god I'm feeling particularly intellectual today.

**Crisis management** · 5th April 2007, 12:38

Originally Posted by Insanity_rules

My god I'm feeling particularly intellectual today.

Could you provide a dictionary or translation with the next post, it's taken me 10 minutes to work out all them big words.

You must be learning GI, a couple of months ago you would have just gone straight into her, well done

It's obviously not just bikes tho today, some twat just tried to change lanes on top of me as well, and I was in the 4x4. Blind hardly describes it!

**Insanity_rules** · 5th April 2007, 12:46

Originally Posted by Insanity_rules

I would have shit! I love those little moments that wake you up, when a brain dead cager with too many chromosomes, too little awareness and a lot of ball face ignorance decide to see if they can remove us from the gene pool.

Those wonderful sphincter clenching, spine tingling events that lead us to love our caged brothers and sisters to death and beyond if necessary. I would have (albeit respectfully) torn the chronologically challenged tin pilot a completely new orifice and invited her to a friendly discourse as to her particular occular deficit and ensured that she learnt a lesson in courtesy for other road users.

Glad you still with us GI and I hope that the faecal resedue has long cleared.

My god I'm feeling particularly intellectual today.

Translation: Dont ya love it when a 6 fingered missing link pulls out in front of you and you fill your jeans (corduras, leathers).

I would have verbally shoved my foot up her ass, told her to get her eyes checked and ensured that she never did it again.

Glad GI's alive and hope he's cleaned the skids off his seat and pants.

That better?