Stories

[marty]

HTF did you do that hitcher?

[James Deuce]

HTF did you do that hitcher?

He's bin a Gummint "Spin Doctor". He could convince you to sell your children to a Romanian arms dealer. Children's arms that is.

[spudchucka]

Im guessing that you guys haven't figured out the easy way to deal with idiot posts/threds --Ignore em

Where's the fun in that?

[jrandom]

... a Romanian arms dealer. Children's arms that is.

(sidles up)

(shifty look)

er... you got a phone number for that one then, guv'nor?

[James Deuce]

(sidles up)

(shifty look)

er... you got a phone number for that one then, guv'nor?

Ask Hitcher. He knows at least 12.

[James Deuce]

I declare this thread......

(bangs gavel on desk)

Officially hijacked.

[Hitcher]

Officially hijacked.

Yeah, what was it all about again?

[jrandom]

Yeah, what was it all about again?

Can't remember, but we could follow the emerging standard and talk about beer for a while until it comes back to us.

[bungbung]

Alrighty,

Monteiths Original.

Was in Brisbane cbd two weeks ago and fancied a beer. Popped into nearest pub and beheld a monteiths sign on their counter.

i asked for a monteiths and received blank looks. I showed barkeep the sign on his counter and was told "I've never seen that before, and we don't stock that beer"

Aussies eh?

[jrandom]

Actually, it's a bit inefficient to have two concurrent beer threads, isn't it?

And we covered single malts pretty comprehensively a while back.

Um...

Anyone here familiar with home distilling?

[Mr Skid]

Can't remember, but we could follow the emerging standard and talk about beer for a while until it comes back to us.

I'll have a Becks please barkeep!

[Hitcher]

Can't remember, but we could follow the emerging standard and talk about beer for a while until it comes back to us.

Hmmm, beer! If there is a heaven, I plan to shake hands with the person who invented beer, and then buy him one!

And what's with those Trappists then? Where in the Bible does it say: "Go ye in silence, my brothers, steep the fruit of the hop, the malted grain of barley, the sap from sugar cane in barrels of stream water until it achieves a ratio of 5 percent alcohol, yay verily or stronger! And then quaff said beverage, all the while silently giving thanks and praise to your Lord!"

[vifferman]

Talking of 5% - there was a cafe/bar type place in Orewa that did 1-litre steins of German beers, some of them more than double that strength. Anyone know if it's still there? Anyone tried some of these brews and lived to talk about it?

[jrandom]

And what's with those Trappists then? Where in the Bible does it say: "Go ye in silence, my brothers, steep the fruit of the hop, the malted grain of barley, the sap from sugar cane in barrels of stream water until it achieves a ratio of 5 percent alcohol, yay verily or stronger! And then quaff said beverage, all the while silently giving thanks and praise to your Lord!"

I was going to go on about it being "yea verily", but I've already had my day's quota of pediculus humanus capitis egg removal, so I won't.

And I suppose you could say that they were just being energetic in their appreciation of Psalm 104:15.

[Hitcher]

And I suppose you could say that they were just being energetic in their appreciation of Psalm 104:15.

You've got it in one! Silently energetic.

[marty]

Where's the fun in that?

if spud ignored all the idiot threads he'd never talk to lou

[Hitcher]

Talking of 5% - there was a cafe/bar type place in Orewa that did 1-litre steins of German beers, some of them more than double that strength. Anyone know if it's still there? Anyone tried some of these brews and lived to talk about it?

Mate, the Leuven bar here in Wellington does a Belgian drop that weighs in at a heady 20%. They've also got a couple of 15% brews. I knew a dude when I was a Massey student who was a food techie who could do a 15% home brew. That's pretty much at the edge of what a home brewer can do with the range of yeasts they have available. Tastes like beer, feels like sherry... "Yay verily, here comes east, again..."

[Blakamin]

Hmmm, beer! If there is a heaven, I plan to shake hands with the person who invented beer, and then buy him one!

And what's with those Trappists then? Where in the Bible does it say: "Go ye in silence, my brothers, steep the fruit of the hop, the malted grain of barley, the sap from sugar cane in barrels of stream water until it achieves a ratio of 5 percent alcohol, yay verily or stronger! And then quaff said beverage, all the while silently giving thanks and praise to your Lord!"

Whale oil beef hooked!


gotta come up with something if you're not talking

[The One]

Yeah, what was it all about again?

I'm sure this thread was about people like you talking alot of shit. Now that wasn't hard was it????

[White trash]

I'm sure this thread was about people like you talking alot of shit. Now that wasn't hard was it????

People like what?

[Marknz]

Can't remember, but we could follow the emerging standard and talk about beer for a while until it comes back to us.

Labatts Blue for me thanks... or a Guinness.

[riffer]

In my younger years I used to brew my own beers. I have a homebrew kit at home but its been so bloody cold in Upper Hutt this year that I haven't made up a brew - I'm waiting for the weather to get better then I'll do some.

[Blakamin]

In my younger years I used to brew my own beers. I have a homebrew kit at home but its been so bloody cold in Upper Hutt this year that I haven't made up a brew - I'm waiting for the weather to get better then I'll do some.

Taste tester lives here

[vifferman]

Hi, just thought I'd let everyone know of one of my adventures. I never realised the amount of cop's that are on our roads late at night.

I won't give too many details so here goes.

I was heading home one night, at around 10pm on SH1 near Somewhere . I was being law abiding until then and decided to open the bike up abit. Was cruising at 220ks, no cars around. Went past a car parked on the other side of the road. Fuck me it was the Police, 1 officer standing outside the car. (not sure wot he was doing, checking my speed probably), so in my stupidity, I kept going at that speed, whew lucky I thought.

Approached a line of traffic further up, slowed to 200k no oncoming cars, over took them, shit!! Highway patrol unit sitting in the middle of the cars, went past him (no time to stop). Red and Blues went on, so what do I do. I keep going, heart racing. Patrol unit still following, speedo reading 250k, losing the unit. Then no red and blues. Gone.

So I slow to 160k, get my composure. Whew Luuuucky. Approach some other car, then the red and blues on that car go on, "shit" I think and go flying past him at 220k, lose him. All these ones patrol units within 5 minutes of each other. And You guess it ( if you are guessing) there is another 1 waiting for me up the road, doh. Realise I'll get a beating if I stop now, off I go and lose that 1.

4 Patrol units in 15mins. couldn't believe it, in the middle of nowhere. Oh well
spose they have a job to do.

It was a good ride apart from that.

Any stories like these from riders.

Cheers

The One.

I am only new here but I think you were very bad to go so fast on the roads. You might hav e been hurt or hurt some other person. Even if you were afraid the police would stop you and beat you. I donot think the police woulsd beat you I do not think they do beat people in this country except very bad men.

[riffer]

I am only new here but I think you were very bad to go so fast on the roads. You might hav e been hurt or hurt some other person. Even if you were afraid the police would stop you and beat you. I donot think the police woulsd beat you I do not think they do beat people in this country except very bad men.

Are you trying to hijack our beer thread

[vifferman]

IS this beer stories? I will find some and come back

[vifferman]

I find this storey:

A man had been drinking for several hours in his neighborhood bar when the bartender started to close up. The drunken man got off his stool and fell to the floor. He pulled himself up on the stool, took one step toward the door and fell again. "Oh, hell. I'll crawl then," he said. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up by the doorknob, worked his way outside and fell again when he let go. He decided to crawl around the corner to his home. He pulled himself up to let himself in, managed to close the door, but fell again when he stepped toward the couch. After crawling to the couch he pulled himself up on it and went to sleep. An hour later his wife turned on the lights and woke him up.

"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" she said angrily.
"No, honey. I was out with the guys late and did not want to wake you..."
"Right," she said. "The bar just called to let me know you forgot your wheelchair."

[vifferman]

I like this storey also

BEER-DRINKING BIRD BANNED FROM PUB
A pub landlord has banned a bird from the King's Arms in Heath Common, Wakefield for stealing food and beer from customers. Landlord Alan Tate said the bird, a magpie nicknamed Thatcher, "had started walking on people's plates while they were eating and we had to refund a few meals." The bird first started pecking on the windows of the King's Arms several weeks ago and fast became popular with customers. "He got more and more used to people and started nicking beer out of pint glasses," Tate said. "His favorite is the Classic Blonde which we have on - he went mad for that. He used to squawk at people who used to hide their pints from him."

[scumdog]

On second thoughts, all you morons who didn't like what I did, can all F off.
I thought this site was for bikers who love to ride fast not for pussies as most of you guys seem to be.

You only live once, so go for it, and if you don't like it then piss off to the girlies web site and play with your barbie dolls, or sux on your mothers tits.

And if you don't want to be on my vid, good as you will probably bring your mums along to hold your hands.

Get a life you twats, and grow bigger balls, I think you are all a bunch of hypocrits. Shootig someone down for riding fast, thats what bikes are for fuck heads, not for going on a Sunday ride with your mama.

I know girl bikers with more guts than some of you clits. I will still be making the vid,.

THE ONE

How much did YOU have to drink? and how many 10hr nightshifts in a row had YOU just done? and what kind of stress does YOUR job have?

You sound like me on Monday night but I wasn't so abusive and I apologised for it.

Chill out and where pray did you read that this site is for bikers that like to ride fast? and on the street?

[Joni]

How much did YOU have to drink? and how many 10hr nightshifts in a row had YOU just done? and what kind of stress does YOUR job have?

You sound like me on Monday night but I wasn't so abusive and I apologised for it.

Chill out and where pray did you read that this site is for bikers that like to ride fast? and on the street?

We not discussing that anymore...... (please!!! ) , its beer now!!! In fact anything else but that.

[Hitcher]

We not discussing that anymore...... (please!!) , its beer now!!! In fact anything else but that.

In your home is your Castle?

[vifferman]

... where pray did you read that this site is for bikers that like to ride fast? and on the street?

Maybe in the header: "A site for all New Zealand motorcyclists" ?
Or maybe my PC is defective and truncated the real header:
"A site for all New Zealand motorcyclists except those who like to ride fast on the street."

[scumdog]

We not discussing that anymore...... (please!!! ) , its beer now!!! In fact anything else but that.

Oops, sorry, I kind of tripped over the start of this thread and sent my reply before reading the other replies and realising that I had re-hijacked a beer thread to the original topic.

Maybe the story came from excess beer drinking?

[vifferman]

In your home is your Castle?

Gargling in the gargre?

[scumdog]

Maybe in the header: "A site for all New Zealand motorcyclists" ?
Or maybe my PC is defective and truncated the real header:
"A site for all New Zealand motorcyclists except those who like to ride fast on the street."

Does that mean I'll get thrown off the site if I disobey the (REAL) header and ride fast on the street?

[vifferman]

Does that mean I'll get thrown off the site if I disobey the (REAL) header and ride fast on the street?

What does your header say? If it's not the alleged real header, then you'll be fine, after I poke you in the eyes with a stick a few times.

[scumdog]

Reaching across she grabs Cindy Lou and looks deep into the impressionable girls soul... "Aint nobody wins out on the Forecourt you fool girl. Even if you survive this time you still loose".....

Hell Paul, you have TOO much imagination, pissed myself relating this to a 'high-noon' type movie..

[scumdog]

What does your header say? If it's not the alleged real header, then you'll be fine, after I poke you in the eyes with a stick a few times.

Welll, if the header is the bit at the top of the page, mine has a pic of a funny looking guy on a motorbike with his arse on a fat tyre, the words KIWIBIKER and the logo "a site for all New Zealand motorcyclists" so I s'pose the sky is the limit in that case?

[riffer]

Does that mean I'll get thrown off the site if I disobey the (REAL) header and ride fast on the street?

No but you might get a ticket...

and make it onto the news as well, given your occupation.

[scumdog]

No but you might get a ticket...

and make it onto the news as well, given your occupation.

Good ripost and witty too!