Big Dave's Hypotheticals

[Wannabiker]

OK...my choice is stinkfinger....At least he rides a V twin. The adventure rider rides a BMW with a parrallellometterogramythingy front suspension and will not talk to you anyway (unless you another BMW rider), and he will have an extremly dry, almost non existant german sense of humour. Buy the stinky one a DB (large bottle) and pull up a pew.

[HDTboy]

I'd give them both a nod, get my beer and chips, and sit on the steps out the front of the pub. I'm quite happy keeping quiet, but if either wish to talk to me then I'll engage in conversation.

Stinky sounds like an interesting character though. Hermann could probably teach me a lot.

[more_fasterer]

When is it.

Same weekend as Cold Kiwi

[Big Dave]

Same weekend as Cold Kiwi

So - some time in Winter?

[Mekk]

I think most people would choose Herman due to the stigmata around Stinkfinger. Reputation definitely precedes bikers and for most, Herman would be the lesser of two evils.

I'd rather talk to Stinkfinger due to the fact that I like his bike more, I think his style epitomizes most of the reasons I ride. I think there'd be more to talk about too, especially if he were passionate about it.

[klingon]

You pull in to the pub. It's a social place.

It only has only two tables out front. Either side of the door.
Rider and bike at each. All you can see is:

At one table sits Herman.
Large adventure touring bike with a huge windscreen. Brightly coloured goretex jacket with stripes on the pockets, white helmet.

At the other is Stinkfinger.
Immaculate Pan head Harley with ape hangers, leather vest, heavily tattooed, black open face.

Who are you sitting with?

Well, as a woman entering a pub on my own, I would first go to the bar, order myself a drink, and observe both our biker friends from a safe distance. I would be looking for clues about their attitudes to company and their current states of mind.

Is one looking out and the other looking into his glass? Does one have his helmet on the table and the other on the only available chair? Did one eye me up when I came in? All else being equal (as I'm sure it is... Big Dave didn't mention that they are identical twin brothers) I would make a snap judgement and sit down at one of the tables. I honestly don't know which table it would be, until I got there.

By the way, Dave, why are two brothers sitting at two different tables out the front of the pub? I don't want to get involved in their family squabbles!

[Big Dave]

Ahhh! I ran out of puff on this days ago. It honestly was to no end. A whim - that has shown some potential for further development.

But with such sterling additions I shall consider and continue as soon as the pressing schedule allows or .....I think of something.

It dezzzzzzserves a witty conclusion some time too - but lets run it up the flagple and see if the cat lick it up.

[avgas]

What are ya - a cop?

Not really - but the rainbow room does look fancy from the outside.

[avgas]

Nah - mudguts.
I wish I was in Mogadishu.

So does the Mogadishu Minibus - but alas it is segregated to BOP

[Bonez]

It only has only two tables out front.

Inside is full of........

Yell FIRE!! FIRE!! FIRE!!. The establishment is soon cleared so the 20 other riding buddies you're with can have a seat. Self service as well. Invite the other two in.................

[Big Dave]

Yell FIRE!! FIRE!! FIRE!!. The establishment is soon cleared so the 20 other riding buddies you're with can have a seat. Self service as well. Invite the other two in.................

Unfortunately not - it's full of public relations consultants who are arguing over how to put a 'positive spin' on the fire.
Energy saving - indoor BBQ - we could have a series.

No chance of getting them out till coffee at elevenses.

[Big Dave]

I think most people would choose Herman due to the stigmata around Stinkfinger. Reputation definitely precedes bikers and for most, Herman would be the lesser of two evils.

I'd rather talk to Stinkfinger due to the fact that I like his bike more, I think his style epitomizes most of the reasons I ride. I think there'd be more to talk about too, especially if he were passionate about it.

In 5 minutes their partners are showing up.

Herman has a Dutch girlfriend with 2 'spare' Eurochicks who like spliffing up and getting jiggy in the spa bath around the back.

Stinkfinger's Mrs Rolls her own Tampons and doesn't like 'Wimmen'.

[Big Dave]

By the way, Dave, why are two brothers sitting at two different tables out the front of the pub? I don't want to get involved in their family squabbles!

Their partners are coming to the pub. They don't get on.

[Bonez]

Unfortunately not - it's full of public relations consultants who are arguing over how to put a 'positive spin' on the fire.
Energy saving - indoor BBQ - we could have a series.

No chance of getting them out till coffee at elevenses.

One moves the hands of the clock beside the bar to read 13 o'clock. Then places the clock on the barby, making the comment "Oh how time fries". Being a resourcefull type you don your resperator (you've been in similar situations before) The doors and windows being closed by staff. Bar staff have already left due to fact they're very familiar with fire evacuation procedures. All the consultants are overtaken by the fumes (having disabled the fume extractor prior). You open the doors turn on the extractor, then invite your mates in. You apologise for the clutter sit down and have a beer. The public relation consultants make good floor mats and foot rests.

[Mekk]

In 5 minutes their partners are showing up.

Herman has a Dutch girlfriend with 2 'spare' Eurochicks who like spliffing up and getting jiggy in the spa bath around the back.

Stinkfinger's Mrs Rolls her own Tampons and doesn't like 'Wimmen'.

If we're still talking bikes I'd rather stick around and hear what Stinkfinger's missus has to say about 'em. Might learn a thing or two.

Definitely them for the conversation anyway.