Ignorant cyclists strike (almost) again

[jazbug5]

Can anyone explain to me why all these born-agains feel the need to stuff themselves into overpriced Da-Glo lycra?

Very confusing. Still, gives me something extra to laugh at when I overtake on my pushie.
If ever any of you guys make it over to the UK, I live in Cycling City, Cambridge. Been thinking about doing a series of photos of different 'types' of cyclist you get here. Apart from the Da-Glo Warrior, there is (in no particular order):

• The Worthy Eco Warrior: usually has a canvas trailer attached to the back, often full of children and/or organic vegetables and hessian-weaving supples.
• The Foreign Student: 'what side of the road do you guys drive on again... oh, so this is the pavement? Sorry about your.. oh look, it's an old building!'
• Grimacing Granny: can be of any age or gender, but clearly Enjoying Not Enjoying themselves, 'pain is good for the soul' types. My favourite, the expression a joy to behold- somewhere between a teeth-baring deathly rictus and 'point of orgasm face'. (Which somehow manages to convey the wearer's sense of Puritanical Disapproval of all around...)
• Gym Bunny: suspiciously tanned person with newly bought, shiny gear that is going right back in the shed when the new year's resolution begins to lose the allure. (Around next Tuesday... a car's so much more convenient and comfortable, even if you're only going round the corner.)
• Crazy Academic: miles away in a fug of quantum theory, vision occluded by masses of frizzy hair, not to mention the towering stack of books in the obligatory wicker basket in front.
• Chav Rider: seat as low as is possible without re-engineering the frame, trousers ditto: bike usually full suspension (dunno about the riders'... ahem). Weeble along from side to side (road or pavement, it all belongs to them), usually having a yelled conversation with a m8 over the tinny yet somehow bone-jarringly loud tune playing from their mobile.

There are more, but I will spare you.

Another thing: why do people weave their torso from side to side when they're really *going* for it? Are there mysterious invisible pulleys that I don't know about, capable of propelling a bike more quickly towards destination 'B'?

[McDuck]

Can anyone explain to me why all these born-agains feel the need to stuff themselves into overpriced Da-Glo lycra?

Very confusing. Still, gives me something extra to laugh at when I overtake on my pushie.
If ever any of you guys make it over to the UK, I live in Cycling City, Cambridge. Been thinking about doing a series of photos of different 'types' of cyclist you get here. Apart from the Da-Glo Warrior, there is (in no particular order):

• The Worthy Eco Warrior: usually has a canvas trailer attached to the back, often full of children and/or organic vegetables and hessian-weaving supples.
• The Foreign Student: 'what side of the road do you guys drive on again... oh, so this is the pavement? Sorry about your.. oh look, it's an old building!'
• Grimacing Granny: can be of any age or gender, but clearly Enjoying Not Enjoying themselves, 'pain is good for the soul' types. My favourite, the expression a joy to behold- somewhere between a teeth-baring deathly rictus and 'point of orgasm face'. (Which somehow manages to convey the wearer's sense of Puritanical Disapproval of all around...)
• Gym Bunny: suspiciously tanned person with newly bought, shiny gear that is going right back in the shed when the new year's resolution begins to lose the allure. (Around next Tuesday... a car's so much more convenient and comfortable, even if you're only going round the corner.)
• Crazy Academic: miles away in a fug of quantum theory, vision occluded by masses of frizzy hair, not to mention the towering stack of books in the obligatory wicker basket in front.
• Chav Rider: seat as low as is possible without re-engineering the frame, trousers ditto: bike usually full suspension (dunno about the riders'... ahem). Weeble along from side to side (road or pavement, it all belongs to them), usually having a yelled conversation with a m8 over the tinny yet somehow bone-jarringly loud tune playing from their mobile.

There are more, but I will spare you.

Another thing: why do people weave their torso from side to side when they're really *going* for it? Are there mysterious invisible pulleys that I don't know about, capable of propelling a bike more quickly towards destination 'B'?

They do because they have farked there knees from running, so the non impact of the bie is good.
I would prefer a motorbike tho

[MSTRS:Me]

Another thing: why do people weave their torso from side to side when they're really *going* for it? Are there mysterious invisible pulleys that I don't know about, capable of propelling a bike more quickly towards destination 'B'?

That is a function of the relative depth to which the seat pole is inserted....

[jrandom]

Can anyone explain to me why all these born-agains feel the need to stuff themselves into overpriced Da-Glo lycra?

Oooh, I'll slap you.

The jersey I'm riding in at the moment just became famous, though.

So I feel better about it.

Yes, the pink one.

If pink was good enough for Der Jan, it's good enough for me.

[McDuck]

I feal real sorry for the bus drive the other day that took out a 14 year old on a bike, the kid came out of nowhere and did not even have a helmet. At least it looks like the driver will not get done for it by the cops.

[Rosie]

Oooh, I'll slap you.

The jersey I'm riding in at the moment just became famous, though.

So I feel better about it.

Yes, the pink one.

If pink was good enough for Der Jan, it's good enough for me.

Ooo-er that's pretty. And I could do with a new jersey.

[Swoop]

It was pleasing to see, on the news last night, a cyclist carrying a gun (toy, cap-firing!) to scare off marauding magpies which are breeding and protecting their patch which the psyclists are riding through...

The advice given by the authorities... "it is best to ride in groups" to ward off the threat!
A lone cyclist presents a tempting target for the average, horny magpie...

[jazbug5]

Oooh, I'll slap you.

The jersey I'm riding in at the moment just became famous, though.

So I feel better about it.

Yes, the pink one.

If pink was good enough for Der Jan, it's good enough for me.

Mr Random... I saw these lovely outfits and thought of you; irresistible!

[90s]

On a lighter note, check this out:

Genius!
"my one is red!"

[jrandom]

A lone cyclist presents a tempting target for the average, horny magpie...

Gareth Holebrook, the fulla in Christchurch who got knocked off his bike by a magpie and has been in the news recently, is a good friend and occasional training partner of mine.

[Insert obligatory plug for Airo simulated altitude training - it must be good; the software for the control units couldn't have been written by a nicer guy...]

But yes, magpies really are a menace.

Mr Random... I saw these lovely outfits and thought of you; irresistible!

Heh. And you can tell that that guy in the photos is actually a cyclist.

I do love a good ugly-jersey pisstake. It's part of the rich culture that bicycling has developed over the past century.

Hmm, my short-sleeve-jersey tan lines are down to about 50% intensity. Winter must be almost over!

[EJT]

Gareth Holebrook, the fulla in Christchurch who got knocked off his bike by a magpie and has been in the news recently, is a good friend and occasional training partner of mine.

Yeah I have been attacked a couple of times by magpies while out training on my push bike. Gives you a fright more than anything. Once I got off the bike and picked up a stone to chuck at the little shit and it flew up the tallest tree around so I couldn't reach it (or was it my weak throwing arm).

Don't know if I agree with culling them though. Makes the long rides more exciting.

Anyway - after the horror of seeing those pics posted by Jaz thought I would post something a bit more to my liking. Niki Gudex mmmmm...

[Angusdog]

The pics could be considerably bigger...

[Mr Skid]

Gareth Holebrook, the fulla in Christchurch who got knocked off his bike by a magpie and has been in the news recently, is a good friend and occasional training partner of mine.

Does he drop you on the hills?

[jrandom]

Does he drop you on the hills?

Yes.

He might not now, though, given that he's a cripple after his crash.



Hmmm... people might start to wonder...