I plagarised this from the Ulysses web site
just passing this along....
Ladies and Gentlemen .....wear Leather. If I could offer you only one tip for improving your life, leather would be it. The long
term benefits of leather have been proved by serious bikers over many roads and many years, whereas wearing something
unreliable like shorts and a T-shirt means you will experience a trip to accident and emergency. There, uncaring nurses will
scrub gravel out of your wounds, and doctors will dispense ineffective painkillers and meaningless advice... like telling you to
trade that "murdercycle" in for a Volvo.
Bullshit.
I will dispense some real advice right now:
Enjoy the power and beauty of your ride; if you don't already; you can fully enjoy it by doing long smoky burnout's in the
parking lot at the local shopping center.
Trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos of you and your pals on your bikes and recall in a way you can't grasp now
how much fun you had and how fabulous you really looked hauling ass down the twisties dressed in leather. Leather is as sexy
as you imagine.
Don't worry about what your Mom thinks; or worry, but know that worrying about what other people think is as effective as
trying to scratch your nose in a blinding hailstorm at 80 m.p.h. with a full-face helmet and winter gloves on.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be soccer moms, driving minivans talking into their cell phones while doing their makeup;
the kind that blind side you at 4pm on some urban road and then claim you crashed into THEM.
Do one thing everyday that scares the hell out of other drivers ... Sing into your helmet. Use mouthwash first.
Don't be reckless with other people's bikes, especially if you don't have insurance. Don't put up with people who mess with
yours.... in fact, beat them with a chain.
Ride Fast.
Don't waste your money on chrome, or fancy paint jobs; spend it on racing or partying. Sometimes you're fast, sometimes
you're slow. Sometimes you're hung over. The ride is long, and in the end, a cold beer tastes pretty damn good.
Remember the good rides you've had, forget the cuts and bruises; try to wear out the sides of your tires before the middle.... if
you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your oil changed, throw away old speeding tickets.
Take chances.
Don't feel guilty if you ride faster than the posted limit ... the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 how to ride
conservatively, all the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of saddle time.
Be kind to your passengers, you'll miss them if they fall off.
Maybe you'll crash, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have surgery, maybe you won't, maybe you'll ride a cruiser off a cliff doing
40, maybe you'll get a new trailie for your 75th birthday ... whatever you ride, don't congratulate yourself too much - your
choices are 90% foreign, 10% domestic, so are everyone else's.
Enjoy your bike, use it every way you can ... don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument of
pleasure you'll ever own, not counting that fully automatic machine gun you crazy assed uncle got for you.
Wrench! ... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your Mum's living room. Read the shop manual, even though you won't
remember any of it.
Do not read American motorcycle magazines, they will only make you wish you'd bought a Japanese one instead.
Get to know your brake pads, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your tires; they are your link to the pavement and the things most likely to save your butt from a nasty highside.
Understand that mechanics come and mechanics go, but for a precious talented few you should pay them well and buy them
beer.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older your bike gets, the more you'll need the mechanic
who worked on it when it was young and still not paid off.
Ride in Atlanta once, but leave before you get killed; ride in the country whenever possible, but leave a plausible excuse when
calling in sick for work.
Do wild wheelies.
Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, traffic will get worse, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that
when you were young, gas was cheap, the police couldn't catch you, and Harley owners weren't all yuppies.
Respect your rev-limiter.
Don't expect anyone else to see your bike unless it has really loud pipes.
Maybe your bike has a big fuel tank, maybe a smaller one; but remember, either way you'll have to make toilet stops.
Don't mess too much with your carburetors, or by the time you're done, you'll be walking home.
Be careful whose advice you buy, and save your receipts. Don't take advice from those who supply it for free, especially if they
own a Harley.
Motorcycle restoration is a form of self-torture. Doing it is a way of pulling the past from the dustbin, degreasing it, painting
over the rusty parts and dumping way more money into it than it's worth.
But trust me on the leather...
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I couldn't stop singing and laughing when I got the ZX-6R back from the shop last week after having put up with my 250 farting on three cylinders for the previous week.
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