A twat in a hat

[martybabe]

Hey guys,there is no point to this thread really just thoughts from my daft heed.I come from a beautiful little channel island just off france called Jersey(you may know of the cows)if not the island, anyway this island used to be french but because the french guys kicked the pommie asses way back it became part of britain/france, then the pomms twated our galic nieghbours back and jersey chose to remain british-ish.Its a battle re-enacted every rugby world cup and we won again .So,on this little rock is a harley shop that supplies bikes to the many millionares that live there,oh and me.but the problem is this gorgeous lill place is only five miles by nine,in kilometres that works out to,small.and a forty mile an hour speed limit,in kilometres thats,slow.Now because its small and slow the prefered attire for ones bonce(head)is an open faced lid.If you wana go and conquer europe(we've done that before)you wack on a screen,its good and it works but with a beard like mine,a strange negative airspace thing happens so facial hair sticks out horizontal stylie,forward dude!looks like ya got a persian slipper stuck to your chin.
I appear to be rambling,ah feck it.Fast forward to NZ,got new bike,piss pot hat of course and some nice new ridding chums.First rideout they all got full facers and I'm thinkin bollocks I may have missjudged the idealy helmet situation.Off we go and quick as you like they've pissed orf over the horison,no probs i'll wind her up thinks I, catch up with them kiwis soon as
OK, I hits a certain speed and me hat starts to lift off me head taking with it half me sun glasses,my right eye fills with tears cuz of the wind and dust its enduring,my left arm flings up automatic like to hammer me hat back on but the sunnies dont come down with the lid,no! theys feckin stuck half in me lid and half out,the chin straps chokin the life outa me and I can just make out with the half an eye thats still workin a fookin bends commin up.PANICK?I should say so mother,hit them anchors boy I quietly screamed,scrubbed off loadsa k's, hat falls back down over me bleedin eyes rammin d sunnies into me nose.By now the bike knows it's got a twat on board so it rides itself round the bend sweet as and where are me new mates?pissed orf over the bloody horison againI wonder if they'll invite me back,might buy a full facer eh?
yous probably think I'm some kinda nutter but I aint honest,I just have moments of blind stupidity occasionaly interupted by sleepy times.I was trying to see how much you can write before this thing chucks you off but it's beaten me, b'stard technology,and I'm bored now.told you there was no point to this.bye

[skelstar]

Bergerac!!!



Germans liked your little island in WW2 too huh?

[MSTRS:Me]

I did enjoy reading that. If you are averse to proper helmets, can I suggest you use a 6" nail or 2....

[martybabe]

cripes youv'e heard of it,you've made my day dude.

[Finn]

Nice little tax haven that Island.

[martybabe]

I did enjoy reading that. If you are averse to proper helmets, can I suggest you use a 6" nail or 2....

good idea mate ,would it effect my intelli,interigence,brain thing,though?

[martybabe]

Nice little tax haven that Island.

ok so you,ve all heard of it,I shall never disrespect your global knowledge ever again,clever kiwis

[ninjac]

good idea mate ,would it effect my intelli,interigence,brain thing,though?

Don't think so. You already got a harley and are from New Plymouth.

[Finn]

ok so you,ve all heard of it,I shall never disrespect your global knowledge ever again,clever kiwis

I'm not a Kiwi. I can fly.

[yungatart]

good idea mate ,would it effect my intelli,interigence,brain thing,though?

You could always leave your brain at home, for safe keeping, like, until you return...... there's lots on here do that!


Or, if you want to be a proper kiwi, keep it in yur pants, like our boys do!

[hospitalfood]

full face for sure, there is a nasty pic somewhere of a chap with half his face ground off by the road due to his old school lid.
I would like a half lid but would only use it for a ride to the dunny or to the fridge.

[fliplid]

Get some rather expensive "new" potatoes from Jersey, Jersey Royals... well, not here, but in other places.

Saw the pic of some guy after road/face incident, ages ago-on rotten .com?

[Mikkel]

Funniest ramble I've read today
But yeah, as the other guys said, get a nice fullface helmet

Ah Jersey - I heard somewhere that you have to be a two-digit millionaire (in pounds mind you) to even be allowed to move there. Surely that can't be true or are all servants cross-border workers?

full face for sure, there is a nasty pic somewhere of a chap with half his face ground off by the road due to his old school lid.
I would like a half lid but would only use it for a ride to the dunny or to the fridge.

Yeah, but somehow the link on rotten.com doesn't work anymore. "Nothing gets between me and my harley!"

[martybabe]

full face for sure, there is a nasty pic somewhere of a chap with half his face ground off by the road due to his old school lid.
I would like a half lid but would only use it for a ride to the dunny or to the fridge.

ok full face it shall be.ooh I forgot to mention me mom won't let me out now,because I was sat riddin in the down under sun all day,I've got a bright red face with big white eyes where me sunnies sat occasionaly,and abig shiney white shaven head,I look like an exotic icecream and mom thinks the big boys will pick on me,as I said full face for me.
I just got a mental image of you sat on the dunny in a crash hat.
thanx for the humerous replies guys,post some stories,Iz gettin a bit tired of the"if you don't ride exactly what I ride you must sme kinda mental knobber or somat"threads!

[janno]

I see you ride a Hardly Plump Robert.

I'll keep an eye out for you when I'm gallivanting on the unkillable Hoonda.

Been cracking riding weather up here in NP this past fortnight, doncha reckon? Absolute bliss. Been out to Whanga yet? Loadsa fun . . .