Well, you're a brave man. Or something. I guess one could find a less suitable bike for a mechanically illiterate novice. If one looked really hard.
At a pure guess, assuming you've done all the obvious stuff, like checking for sparks, bits fallen off, dead rat up the zorst, I'd say you've blown a piston. At least, maybe big end or power valve as well .
At any rate the top end's going to have to come down.
Do, as to what you do to fix it, answer is trailer it to your friendly local Yamaha dealer. Keep the trailer hitched up, you can use it to bring the money to pay the dealer back from the bank
That's two smokers for y'. We luvs them we does

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