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Thread: Seasonal jetlag

  1. #1
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    Seasonal jetlag

    I don't know if I can convey a truly pommie experience to you kiwis,who will find this weather perfectly normal but I'm gona give it a go.
    Yesterday I took a break from polishing fatbob to have a ciggy and chew the fat with the bride. So I'm stood outside in me y fronts,flip flops er jandals,looking through the palm tree things,down the lush green valley and out to sea.The suns beating down on me bald heed and I said to the bride, "how wierd is this, its nearly december, me head looks like a big ugly red tomato and I'm hot man".The bride says" you aint that hot chook and I aint fooled by them polishing cloths stuffed down your y-fronts either". Ignoring the cheeky mare,I went on to discuss all the boys back home wearing a couple of fleeces each, getting the bikes ready for winter storage, you know full tank o gas,new oil,wd40 everywhere and not forgettin the rocksalt on the roads(do you have that here?) you can stand and watch your bike rot infront of your own peepers.I look back at fatbobby nearly ready to go and we're chuckling to ourselves how lucky we are to be here,then,oh my god,then. A truck load of father christmas's comes trundlin up our street tuggin on there instruments playin xmas carols.In d fuggin sun, in d daylight past the palm trees and the ocean blue,sweatin there cobs off.you gota remember this is through pommie eyes. It's just fuggin sureal,it must be like santa commin to visit in june for you guys. Me and the bride are pissin ourselves. And some poor little girl struggles up our drive with a coin box to be confronted by two histerical pomms and I'm patting down me y-fronts lookin for coins with tears in me eyes.This poor kid looks mortified and the li'll darling is trying to give us her little intro ,I represent etc.The bride gives her a couple o bucks appologises and the kid takes off like a scalded cat. sorry gota go I can't see to write any more,attack o the giggles. bless
    Oh bugger

  2. #2
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    And the band played on ... taken to wearing handkerchiefs with knotted corners eating cornbeef sandwiches with coleman's mustard and sipping lemondade?

    "ee by gum, that be a load o'old tat that is!"
    "I like to ride anyplace, anywhere, any time, any way!"

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by gijoe1313 View Post
    And the band played on ... taken to wearing handkerchiefs with knotted corners eating cornbeef sandwiches with coleman's mustard and sipping lemondade?

    "ee by gum, that be a load o'old tat that is!"
    He he, I love you gijoe, in a manly sorta way of course, poor colecting kid she's gonna need therapy. sunburn+ santa= confused pom init.
    Oh bugger

  4. #4
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    nice one good read lmao,been over here 6 yrs this time around and i reckon you'll never get used to it,try a full xmas dinner in this heat,laid on the lawn feeling very ill for a while last year(must have been a dodgy pint)

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    Yeah it's rather surreal I have to give you that. Coming from Scandinavia where the sun goes down about two and a half hour before it rises in the christmas time this is kinda weird. Then again - I started to pretend christmas doesn't happen quite a few years back so I tend to chuck Santa, the elves and all the other hoo-ha into a SEP-field.
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by blacksheep View Post
    nice one good read lmao,been over here 6 yrs this time around and i reckon you'll never get used to it,try a full xmas dinner in this heat,laid on the lawn feeling very ill for a while last year(must have been a dodgy pint)
    I'm determined to give the old Turkey n trimmins a go just once. Aint it mad? I've seen xmas tree baubles with pictures of bbq's on em.I got some Brits commin for xmas,the're gonna freak. A pint! bless you.
    Oh bugger

  7. #7
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    Have not managed to get used to it in 6 years of being here. Not sure I ever will!

    Used to get a feeling of butterflies in my tummy around mid-November, when the weather was dreary, and it never got fully light, and all the Xmas lights were visible by 3pm - that feeling that said 'Christmas is on the way, oh YAY!'.

    Not had that feeling with any of the hot Christmasses. Well, maybe my first one here, but that was just because it was different.

    And sprouts - you can't get fresh sprouts! What's Xmas lunch without sprouts?! Love 'em! And mushy peas - not the ones from a can, the ones you boil up on the stove yourself - every time we try to get my dad to send some over, customs confiscate them! But on the upside - freshly picked strawberries on Xmas day....mmmmmmmmm!!!

    The NZ mid-winter Christmas is an odd concept to me too! LOL

    So much to learn, glasshopper.......!
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    10 years for me now.

    First christmas here - full english roast, all the trimmings. Hottest bloody day of the year. All the chocolates on the tree melted.

    Next year we had a "salad" with a bbq. Just was not the same.

    Now we just have the full english roast.. later.
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    "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.." blaring from the speakers as you are wearing jandals while you have a sausage sammie from the bbq and tossing a frisbee on the back lawn...

    Sweltering as you manhandle eskies on the beach just to have sand in your sammies, sandflies testing your legs for the best bits, tossing the cucumber out to seagulls that sniff it and leave it...

    That damn lawn tennis set that no-one knows how to play with it properly as you trip over the lawn darts and set about beating your irritating brother with the croquet set mallet ...

    Watching dad take the beer bottle caps off with another bottle or using the bbq tools or putting it on the edge of the table and whacking down on it ...

    Mum getting blardy upset due to the salad not being eaten and why has all the butter been used on the sweet corn ...

    Xmas in Noo Zildland is a funny thing ...
    "I like to ride anyplace, anywhere, any time, any way!"

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by judecatmad View Post

    The NZ mid-winter Christmas is an odd concept to me too! LOL
    Ya reckon? I find that really helps with the fact that the shortening days in the winter make me start to feel "Christmassy"...
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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterD View Post
    Ya reckon? I find that really helps with the fact that the shortening days in the winter make me start to feel "Christmassy"...
    Yeah, but then I have 6 months to wait til I get my pressies!!

    I do still get the Xmassy feeling, but as you say, it's in June and it's just so surreal to even contemplate celebrating it twice in a year. Kind of like allowing the Queen to have 2 birthdays - nobody should have 2 birthdays, it's just not right I say! LOL
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by judecatmad View Post
    Yeah, but then I have 6 months to wait til I get my pressies!!

    I do still get the Xmassy feeling, but as you say, it's in June and it's just so surreal to even contemplate celebrating it twice in a year. Kind of like allowing the Queen to have 2 birthdays - nobody should have 2 birthdays, it's just not right I say! LOL
    Hey if the Queen wants two birthdays, she can flipping have two!!!
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by gijoe1313 View Post
    "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.." blaring from the speakers as you are wearing jandals while you have a sausage sammie from the bbq and tossing a frisbee on the back lawn...

    Sweltering as you manhandle eskies on the beach just to have sand in your sammies, sandflies testing your legs for the best bits, tossing the cucumber out to seagulls that sniff it and leave it...

    That damn lawn tennis set that no-one knows how to play with it properly as you trip over the lawn darts and set about beating your irritating brother with the croquet set mallet ...

    Watching dad take the beer bottle caps off with another bottle or using the bbq tools or putting it on the edge of the table and whacking down on it ...

    Mum getting blardy upset due to the salad not being eaten and why has all the butter been used on the sweet corn ...

    Xmas in Noo Zildland is a funny thing ...


    I ain't comming back to this thread till tonight, my stomach hurts from laughing so much. Thanx for sharing guys.
    Oh bugger

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by judecatmad View Post
    And sprouts - you can't get fresh sprouts! What's Xmas lunch without sprouts?! Love 'em! And mushy peas - not the ones from a can, the ones you boil up on the stove yourself - every time we try to get my dad to send some over, customs confiscate them! But on the upside - freshly picked strawberries on Xmas day....mmmmmmmmm!!!

    The NZ mid-winter Christmas is an odd concept to me too! LOL

    So much to learn, glasshopper.......!
    Can so too!!! Nawt like sprouts boiled to mush eh? The mushy peas here are blue prussian peas, got to soak 'em for a week an' boil them for HOURS but they're bloody great. Tend not to slop 'em all over the chips here though... And yesss indeedy, strawberries, Moet and chocolate has been our traditional Xmas breckie for decades.

    Quote Originally Posted by gijoe1313 View Post
    "That damn lawn tennis set that no-one knows how to play with it properly as you trip over the lawn darts and set about beating your irritating brother with the croquet set mallet ...
    LAWN DARTS!!! Fuck, first time I was them I thought "How amazingly, refreshingly un-PC dangerous, COOL" The kid next door biffed one over the road once, straight into the side door of a passing car.
    Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ocean1 View Post
    Can so too!!! Nawt like sprouts boiled to mush eh?
    Nooooo way...where from??? I'm on me a sprout hunt this year then! Oh hang on, we're off out for Xmas lunch this year...darn it!

    And I'm quite particular with my mushy peas - got to be the crinkly dried marrowfat peas, soaked for a day and a half with just a tiny bit too much bicarb so you get that tangy taste coming through Put a ham shank in the pot and yum! the best pea and ham soup ever!!!
    Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

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