Your best "Dissing boy racers" story.

[vifferman]

I made an fat middle-aged balding guy (a boy racer at heart) stall his 911 as I revved up staring him down. Lovely.

I hate that. I've stalled a few times when I've filtered to the front at the lights, they've changed to green, and I've given the bike too few herbs.
I'm currently driving #2's car to work, and the blardy thing has a wonky EFI system that sometimes stalls the car just because it can. But (however), at least it doesn't have the strange, twisted spaghetti logic (spirelli?) of #1's Fiat, which requires that you turn the key off and on again when you stall.
"Ah scusi; hang-a on-a una momento: the car, she have-a stalled-a!"
Meanwhile, all the mopeds, buses, trucks and donkey carts are halfway to the next set of lights...

[Blue Velvet]

Even better once I made an fat middle-aged balding guy (a boy racer at heart) stall his 911 as I revved up staring him down. Lovely.

I had a Range Rover have a go at the lights at the bottom of Haywards Hill last night. Admittedly a late model V8 one, didn't care to look at what exactly, but still... It's a freaking shopping trolley.

[Nagash]

Getting sick of the call of "Oi you, do a wheelie!" On a fucking 250 cruiser? Not even the slightest chance..

Had plenty of boy-racer wasting moments. I have a Suzuki FX125C. This thing is quite practically a scooter. I was filtering through the traffic and levelled up next to an oldish 911 up the front of the cue with young guy and his girl friend in it, he told me as a joke that he could probably waste me. Had to take him up on the offer.. now while it is a scooter, this thing accelerates like no ones business.

He was eating dust the entire way (it was only about 200 metres to the next intersection). I got a good laugh out of it and he may be re-thinking his attitude..

On a completely side note, I'm sitting here in a newly bought pair of leather pants trying to break them in a bit..

[warewolf]

Does it count when you pwn your scooter-riding mates by mistake?

I worked with some scooter fellahs. Free and frank discussion round the coffee machine was a regular occurrence, we were all keen about anything two-wheeled. I used to go watch them racing at Mt Wellington. We went for a ride one lunchtime to check out some scoot stuff, as you do. Anyways, last set of lights before the office I decided was a ripe opportunity for a drag race, they did too! I figured they could quite possibly have the edge getting off the line and/or getting up to 50k or so. We'd talked about it, wondering which was quicker.

Lights go green, I pop the clutch a bit too aggressively and it slips; the clutch on my Trophy was getting quite worn, was slipping a lot under high load. I clutch it in again, try again, same thing. Third time I'm trying gently to at least get moving, still slips, figure I just rev it 'cos I know it'll bite properly a few thou' up.

Passed those guys about 5-10m from the line at a great rate of knots, totally pnwed them! "Faaaaark! that thing goes!" they say later, then I tell them about the clutch and the head start they got and that my slow old thing is by no means fast in the bike world. Bit of an eye-opener for them, and these guys are not ignorant to start with. That episode went into office folklore, they loved re-telling it!

[Brett]

Most of the time I get some boy racer revving at me at the lights wanting to have a dance, I will rev back and make all serious for a race, then take off normally and openly laugh at them at the next set. Sometimes however, there are those special moments where the boy racer was just too arrogant.. Those times I will still launch slowly off the line, I wait till they have a 20 or so meter lead, then while still mid range in first, I open the throttle open with a sharp snatch, and come past them with the front hoisted, then if there is a set of lights to stop at, lift the rear in a stoppie just to rub salt into the wound.

Had an interesting one through Twilight Rd about 3 months ago, older guy in an old school Chevie muscle car came racing up my arse on the long straight leaving Clevedon. I held the speed I was already carrying (110 KPH) then absolutley hauled arse through the twisties. Was very amusing to hear the bloke roaring the V8 between corners and then trying to get it around corners. I had a go with my mate in his evo 5 through the very same road and he never stood a chance...thus I doubt this fella would have faired too much better. Always good for a laugh.

[vifferman]

Does it count when you pwn your scooter-riding mates by mistake?

In fact, you get extra bonus points for accidental or unintentional pwnage.
And if it's your mates, then you get superduper bonus bonus points.

[quackquack]

i have owned a few boy racers in a mates AC Cobra he had. He lent to to me will he was overseas for a year and wanted some to drive it once a month. No Boy Racer could stay close to me with a 427 and weighing nearly nothing and is one of the best cruises along mission bay . Man it was worse to be in than a bike if it rained. I could make it wheel spin in 3rd gear in the wet not bad for a 4 speed.

[Ocean1]

A lot of these wee stories seem to be the result of non-rider's complete ignorance of some of the performance aspects of bikes in general. Keep 'em higgerant I say, why spoil the surprise when it really counts.

I was hooning moderately along a gravel road on Gt Barrier once when it became apparent I was about to be cut off by an old Evo, turning in from a driveway to the left. It was safer to nail it and pass in front than it was to brake. He obviously hadn't seen me until I passed in front of him, and then he's all huffy, up my date and obviously intent on learning me some manners. I wasn't about to give him another opportunity to run me off the road so I just did enough to keep ahead.

He was persistent though, so I started slowing up going into corners, so that I could liberally sprinkle him with gravel on the gas on the way out. Two or three corners like that and I'm thinking "fuck, he really doen't care much about his paint". A couple more and I've got him well lined up on a corner made up of more loose broken rock than real gravel. So I pulled the trigger, and sure enough the idiot backed off.

Later that day several of us were gassing up, and the same guy pulls into the gas station. Christ, you should have seen the damage, a broken screen, headlight and numerous fresh wee craters all over paint. He might have objected if I was alone, as it was he just pretended we wern't there and fucked off.

[Monsterbishi]

i have owned a few boy racers in a mates AC Cobra he had. He lent to to me will he was overseas for a year and wanted some to drive it once a month. No Boy Racer could stay close to me with a 427 and weighing nearly nothing and is one of the best cruises along mission bay . Man it was worse to be in than a bike if it rained. I could make it wheel spin in 3rd gear in the wet not bad for a 4 speed.

Used to live next door to a guy with a AC Cobra, each weekend they'd warm it up in the driveway, the idle just pulsed through our house like a shockwave, then they'd push it out onto the street since it'd just rip their driveway up whenever they tried to reverse it, and then try to take off without scorching the rubber.

I'll own one someday...

Edit: yeah, that's a bit off topic, so for redempion, had a boyracer in a NA lancer ask me for a race the other week, when I just laughed excessively and said "You're kidding, right?" the look on his face was gold.

[vifferman]

Christ, you should have seen the damage, a broken screen, headlight and numerous fresh wee craters all over paint.

I liked that story!
A triumph of cunning over macho posturing.

[Ocean1]

I liked that story!
A triumph of cunning over macho posturing.

Wasn't quite as cunning the next day though.

I inadvertently did the same thing to a guy on an XL650...

In fact, you get extra bonus points for accidental or unintentional pwnage.
And if it's your mates, then you get superduper bonus bonus points.

... Which, far from gaining me bonus pwnage ( ) points cost me dearly at the bar that night.

[Macstar]

A car load of teenage Indians or Middle Easterns boys pulled up next to me and mrs once at the Gilles Ave intersection late at night in a Mitsi FTO (hardly a performance car) but the driver seemed to think it was. He was reeving his car waiting for the green. When the light turned he dropped the clutch and reeved the titis of the FTO and got a second wheel spin again from 1st to second gear. Me on the other hand, I matched his speed perfectly staying in first gear giving the boys the false impression that we were evenly matched. When my bike got to the end of first gear, I opened it hard in second and left 'em boys for dust he he he. I then slowed back down to the speed limit and they kept going past me.

Another time on the Hauraki Plains before Matamata a brand spanking Holden clubsport came from no where and overtook me at nearly double my (legal) speed. At the next town we caught up with each other and as we crossed the railway lines and entered the 100kph zone we both planted it (I in my RF900R). It's fair to say there was virtually no difference in acceleration from 80kph-220kph where I had a reality check and let him go (he was in front of me). Respect for the Clubsports!!

[yungatart]

Not boy racer vs motorcycle but funny, all the same.
My dear old mum, she had to have been 7o ish at the time, all 4 ft 9 of her, complete with silver hair, driving my brothers GT Falcon...she actually needed a booster cushion to reach the accelerator.
She stops at the lights and a boy racer thingy full of young guys pulls up in the lane next to her. They rev their car and look at Mum who just watches the lights...as they go green, Mum plants boot, shoots across the intersection, and gives a friendly wave to the dudes still stranded at the intersection. They had stalled....oh, the shame of being beaten off the lights by a tiny little grey haired old lady!!

[skidMark]

It is great fun to see them bust a nut and think they've won (even though you weren't even moving) and then just casually filter past them and lose them in traffic

did that on my mates zx10r a boy racer ...turbo manual 180sx(rs13) nissan silvia....

he gives me a go off these lights.....hes going for it i'm just going beside him.

he gets up to 3rd..wringing the tits off this thing


i'm side by side looking at himmmm.....

making lots of noise.

then went fuck this.....

grabbed a bit of a handful and fucked off on one wheel...

then i clicked 2nd gear

[boomer]

did that on my mates zx10r a boy racer ...turbo manual 180sx(rs13) nissan silvia....

he gives me a go off these lights.....hes going for it i'm just going beside him.

he gets up to 3rd..wringing the tits off this thing


i'm side by side looking at himmmm.....

making lots of noise.

then went fuck this.....

grabbed a bit of a handful and fucked off on one wheel...

then i clicked 2nd gear

then you woke up and had ya corn flakes..??!

Dream on..... dreaming boy