Suicide stories

[Usarka]

would a pirson die from a OD of fentonol, synthetic morphine?

The majority of attempted drug overdoses result in a painful (and embarrasing) experience, but not death.

Don't know on the specifics of this one, but if you have some spare send it my way.

If you are asking because you are worried about someone it might pay to remove it. If you are asking for yourself then give one of these numbers a call now:

Lifeline: 0800 543 354

The Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757

[98tls]

Have lost someone very close to me through them taking there own life,havent read any posts but the first and no desire to go into details on here but will help via pms if you really have concern about someone/something.

[Bren]

About 5 years ago I lived next door to this old geezer, he must have been in his 70s. I was a neighbor to him for about 3 years. I talked to him occasionally mainly about gardening as his garden was always real nice. A few times I shared some drams of whiskey with him or the odd beer. Well we talked some and I found out that his wife had died many years before and his family were always too busy to see the poor old boy.
Well one night I was in bed and I heard a car idling outside, but it seemed like it was coming from a few doors down and I figured some bogan was working on his car. Then i got a bit suspicous as there was no revving of the engine, just a quiet drone so I went outside to see what was going on. Sure enough my neighbor was in the garage and in his car trying to gas himself. I yelled out to my (ex) partner to call the ambulance then broke his door down with a brick and used same brick to get into car as he had locked himself in. Whiskey bottle fell out as I dragged him outside...his pulse was weak and breathing shallow so I tried CPR...he died a few minutes after the ambulance arrived. They tied their best but was too late.

Anyway I heard later on from the services that he had just previously been diagnosed with prostrate cancer...poor old bugger...may he rest in peace...

[Trudes]

That makes me sad to hear stories like that, happens a lot though, often only hear about young people committing suicide, but an awful lot of old people (especially old men) commit suicide, mainly due to loneliness and like this old fella, being diagnosed with a terminal illness, really makes me another reason I think euthanasia is a good thing, if we can give our old or sick pets some dignity at the end, why can't we do the same for the people we love?

[The Lone Rider]

Wow, the suicide thread lives on!

For those of you (all one of you) who sent me a PM thinking I was kicking the bucket... hahaha.

I'm far to busy trying to drink and score to kick the bucket. And I haven't even written out a bucket list. Life sucks some time, but hit the booze and pass the sandman, hang over gone you feel somewhat relieved.

Tis a good thread - i'm glad it picked up again.

Sad or not, i think sharing experiences of this sort helps to keep our minds fresh.

[terbang]

Mate of mine did it 25 odd years ago. Obviously no turning back from an 8mm mauser discharged into his mouth. So he meant it and there were few signs beforehand..! I often think of him and mull over what he has missed out on over the years. His Mrs moved on, had kids and his brothers all did well in life too. His parents passed away after enjoying many grandkids, but not as many as they could have. His family and friends were all, each an every one of us, scarred by it in some sort of way. I am certain that he would have been sure that suicide was the right decision at that time and considered our reactions as he was a fairly deep thinking sort of a guy. But he never took the opportunity to gather some hindsight. I often wonder, if he had just given hindsight an opportunity and seen his friends and family through the years, if his views on the concept of suicide would be different now.?

[BiK3RChiK]

I must pop over the fence to have a good long visit with my old neighbour! I asked him yesterday how he was, and he said 'Oh, you know, waiting to die'!!!! His wife has in the past year gone into a rest home and I think he gets a bit lonely...

Thanks for that guys!

[Bren]

I must pop over the fence to have a good long visit with my old neighbour! I asked him yesterday how he was, and he said 'Oh, you know, waiting to die'!!!! His wife has in the past year gone into a rest home and I think he gets a bit lonely...

Thanks for that guys!

I wish I had visited my neighbour more often, but then i guess with cancer sometimes people just wanna go no matter what. society now days in general just does not give a shit about the old...and that sucks

[The Lone Rider]

I wish I had visited my neighbour more often, but then i guess with cancer sometimes people just wanna go no matter what. society now days in general just does not give a shit about the old...and that sucks

I don't even know my neighbors. Say hi to the guy next door, and the boy racer dicks across the drive don't give me grief anymore since the day they was reving their cars and I got up, wheeled my bike back out of the garage, turned it on and went BOOOMVVVRRRRRRMMMMMM... that shut the fuckers up and no problems since.

However, my mum is dying and I make an effort to see her when I can. Being someone that lives alone and only one relative around I know better than to leave her to herself.

Someone needs to do a statistical study on how many suicides or deaths due to carelessness have loneliness as a prime contributing factor.

[WierNixie]

Totally agree - they are what I term "tortured souls".

This post is brave! Well done for getting through it all, it must have been very difficult.

Some of the most interesting things that I have read on this post are:

1. Talk to someone. That is one of the most difficult things to do, most people look at you as if you either totally mad or a loser if you need to talk about something like this. It is also uncomfortable for the person that you might try to talk to. The 'harden up' approach is the most common reaction. I think that you need to consider who you CAN talk to.

2. Talk to your doctor. Discussed in some depth on the thread, but it can also be quite difficult, especially if you don't have a doctor who you can actually talk to and trust to make the correct diagnosis etc. Case in point, being given anti-depressant drugs if you are not actually depressed.

3. Use your support system. Many people just don't have one, and have coped without one for years.

4. Having someone inexperienced dealing with the issue. That can be the person you deal with, the doctor, the person assigned from the crisis team. All the training in the world often does not translate into real life empathy or understanding of what issues a patient might be dealing with.

I have worked as a nurse in a war and in addition to nursing soldiers, have been exposed to a number of suicides which were largely driven by the circumstances of the war itself. All the book learning in the world cannot prepare you for what you need to do, or who you need to be to understand soldiers (expecially conscripts), the way they are taught to think and to react, and how they need to be to cope with and to get through life.

The place where I came from is voilent and crime ridden. I have been car jacked, beaten and left for dead. I have witnessed a murder and have had two deaths in my family from this voilence.

The interesting thing, is that through all this, I coped, I worked and went on with life. It was only when I was safe in New Zealand, that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder kicked in. Only when I was safe did I want to end my own life.

There is no sense in any of it. It is no wonder that others shake thier heads in disbelief and think WHY? It is no wonder that it all seems so pointless from the outside looking in. And most of all it is no wonder that it seems so very selfish and unwarranted.

"... there is something you must always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

[kevfromcoro]

Interesting thread LS. I ..think everone has comtenplated this at some stage in there life..its a bit up and down sometimes..have had a few mates go by the wayside...not good.allways remeber..... ..we went to a mates place on night and he was trying to do it..a year latter he was a most happy chap..think it how a person feels at the time..but things do change.
I HOPE

[Ixion]

,,..his pulse was weak and breathing shallow so I tried CPR...he died a few minutes after the ambulance arrived. They tied their best but was too late.

Anyway I heard later on from the services that he had just previously been diagnosed with prostrate cancer...poor old bugger...may he rest in peace...

Would he have thanked you, had you arrived 10 minutes earlier, and 'saved' him, d'y' think?

Why assume that everyone who decideds that the negatives of being alive outweigh the positives is doo-lalley and needs to be 'saved'.

Being old is , for many, a really shit experience (trust me on this). If someone whose life every day is no more than pain misery and limitation, and who , correctly, sees only worse ahead, decides that it's not worth it, who are you or I to say he's wrong?

Sure , not every old person has a miserable life. But for those that do, I don't see that anyone ahs the right to prolong unwanted agony.

[jrandom]

Being old is , for many, a really shit experience (trust me on this). If someone whose life every day is no more than pain misery and limitation, and who , correctly, sees only worse ahead, decides that it's not worth it, who are you or I to say he's wrong?

I'm inclined to tentatively agree with Ixion, here.

It's interesting to note that older folk who suicide generally choose effective methods and have a high success rate.

[YOUTUBE]G7_vE2-Jfqk[/YOUTUBE]

[Subike]

KiwiBiker?

as strange as it may seem to those of you who have leed leves that could be concidered as normal.
If I had been born 3 decades later than I was , I could have been diagnosed with adhd or whatever that attention disorder/hypoactive state is, that too many of our kids have today,, anyway,,
Born to a well off functional family of 7 children, no money problems, deamed as a "normal" family of the times...I became a truant from school, wanderd the street at all hours and eventually rolled into the crime scene at the age of 10 - 11. A 70's bad boy
So corrective training, then borstal, then prison, i was the epitomy of an unwanted member of society. Not a nice person
Even to the point of being called a "Habitual Criminal" by a judge at age 19!
Whats this got to do with suicide? Let alone Kiw Biker?

I was of no use to anyone, black sheep of the family, and had joined the ranks of a Biker Gang in the 80"s.
The eternal story continues with the finding of a good woman, who became the mother of my 2 sons, and life seemed to be going well, no crime, no jail, acually enjoyed going to work for money!

So there I was in what society called a "normal" home, with wife kids, dog and mortage. Rehabilitated!!

After 13 years of uneven normal hard life, the event happened.

She decided that I was not the "man of her life" anymore and moved on. Devistating.

Thus the reference to my earlier life, How did I deal with this rejection, after a lifetime of professional rejections by society? I still had a home, 2 sons to care for but no partner to relate to. Things were bad. Reasons for continuing in the real world were limited to two boys who needed a father. I was aware the stress was building, something could snap, and I was the weak link. Suicide was lurking...it thoughts starting to evolve in my head.

I removed all medications from the house, just in case. Talked to my neigbour to keep a casual eye on me and tried to carry on.
Xmass was terribile, 2 boys Xmas day wanting their mom...she didnt care
Because of my past and the structure of the insurance and mortage companies, my name was unable to have been put on any papers in reference to the house.
The killer came a week after xmass. I was given 1 weeks notice to leave the house, with the boys, by my recently seperated wife. By notification of a court order no less!
I snapped. Trashed the house, distroyed everthing I had built into that home. ended up siting in the entrance with a slashed wrist crying...it was the end for me... I could see no future at that time
The police arrived, I was arrested for wilfull damage! Patched up in CHCH police station and trown in a cell....remember
I was a convicted crim with a serious record, and A biker to boot. No simpathy for this "bad boy"
Suicide was a very real option for me. What did I have left. I had done what society had deamed to be the right thng, and had been shit on. I didnt want to go back to jail..it was a real option..no home, abandoned by my wife, kids in welfare abandoned by ther mother, no money...she held the accounts. What was left. I could have ended it that night. Thankfully I was in a police caell. with only my own thoughts unable to completete the act

Easy? no fucking hard. Because of my hypo whatever, continuous argument were going on in my head. The pain was something I never want to experiance again. To those who have had that mental pain will understand its force. To those who have not , I pray you never experiance it.

But I survived. Albet it took time and had work, but I had now two sons in a boys home who needed somebody to get them out, fed cloth house and teach them how to live.
It took 10 years to do it, but I became self employed, got my sons out of welfare, rented a new house, and we made it togeather. I even met a new lady, had a wonderfull relationship, all the right things happened. Found enough money to buy a Bike. My boys got jobs, their own ladies and have given me three grandchildren.

believe it or not...the shit happened again. Nov last year my second lady walked out after 13 years!!!
WTF. I had just started a new job and things were looking as if they were going to improve!
Rejection, that bug set in again. what to do, how do I pull myself up now.
My saving grace was the old Yamaha in the shed and Kiwi Biker
If I could be accepted into the ranks of this website, and the people who I was going to be able to ride with, socialize with and talk bullshit with.. then that was the community that I needed.
It is honest in that it has all types of people, from the kindly to the abusive. I had lived my whole childhood and teen years in institutions with that sort of person
So you lot are normal to me. Thanks.
I know that If i had not involved myself with Kwki Biker, that scuicide would come knocking at my door.
I live alone, 80k from CHCH. there are not many people out here to associate with, so a confidant is not to be had to talk to.
But here, within the walls of KB I can. And the ralleys and rides give me that wild life I have always enjoyed, but inside the law.
Suicide is not an option, but a thought and excuse for not trying, I look at each day as a pluss, the grass is green and maybe tomorrow the clouds will part and I can ride my Bike.
Suicide, depression and rejection are having a hard fight with me. but the struggle is worth the smiles 1 day in 7

[Skyryder]

I'm not too sure I agree that this subject should not be discussed here on KB. I have very little to say on this as my experiance on this is very limited but for those that do and can treat the subject with the respect it deserves then they should be free to do so. Bottomline on this is that sucide is too often swept under the carpet. It needs to be adressed if someone here needs to discuss this. I don't belive they should be criticised for bring this topic up.


Skyryder