What grinds my gears. Issue 1

[Hitcher]

You know what really grinds my gears?
This Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits, you know. You're up there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer, so what am I supposed to do? What do want, you know? Are we gonna go out? Is that why your leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my face, huh?
What do you want, Lindsay? tell me what you want?
I'll tell you what you want. You want nothing. You want nothing all right? Because we all know that no women anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is... is just bogus.

No wonder the front suspension on your bike is shagged.

[vifferman]

What are these "waterwings" of which you speak?

Those protruberances sported by a number of the females of our species, that give them added bouyancy in the water.

I made the mistake of looking at said waterwing-equipped annoyance today (she must be a most excellent swimmer, as her waterwings are ENORMOUS), and the waistband of her lowriders seems to be at least 150mm smaller than the 'muffin' bulging above it.

Aahhh!! My eyes! My eyes!

[doozy]

Taking the Simpsons quiz on Empire online, one question asked what Futurama character made a guest appearance on the Simpsons. Having stopped picking over the fetid stinking bloated corpse of the Simpsons, is it worth looking up the episode to see our Fry (presumably Fry) again?

This might be taking the thread away from its original purpose - but have you considered that the moped owner might have fallen into a cryogenic capsule?

It was the episode where Bart and Lisa get shown their future by Prof Frink(the future where they Lisa has a scolarship to Harvard). Anyway Homer owns one of the first (and only) hover cars (he also lives under the sea), he takes Bart out after he is dumped by his girlfriend. They fly through a tunnel and Bender is in the car, they throw him out ... but this is just off the top of my head. Do I watch far too much simpson episodes? Yes, yes I do

[Ocean1]

No wonder the front suspension on your bike is shagged.

Did we ever discover the extent of the shaggedness?

[Weaver]

Did we ever discover the extent of the shaggedness?

Yeah it turns I'm just a fucken idiot and that there was nothing wrong

[Sully60]

Yeah it turns I'm just a fucken idiot and that there was nothing wrong

So why did the bike feel so bad you couldn't continue the ride in the manner you wanted?

[Weaver]

It was purely physio phymatic. I got to the top of the hill and pushed down on the handle bars and thought "thats to much travel to be safe (what the fuck do I know)". Turns out it has always been like that and I only just noticed then.

But do you know what really grinds my gears?
Parents who let their kids do anything they want. I hate that. You know? Like when I'm in a restaurant trying to enjoying my dinner, and little junior son of a bitch over there is screaming his head off.

[Insanity_rules]

You know what really grinds my gears?

When I miss the clutch totally on a gear change, that really grinds my gears!

[Str8 Jacket]

Hey Jim, is that scooter still there? I just kinda walked past it to go get lunch and saw that red thing that looked liked it had a flatty....

[James Deuce]

That's the one.

Turns out the license plate number I quoted to people is wrong.

Now this does grind my gears, because this is an actual offence.

When you install your reg holder, you'r not supposed to obscure the lowest bar of the "E" so it looks like an "F".

F-wit.


I shall research again.

[Str8 Jacket]

That's the one.

Turns out the license plate number I quoted to people is wrong.

Now this does grind my gears, because this is an actual offence.

When you install your reg holder, you'r not supposed to obscure the lowest bar of the "E" so it looks like an "F".

F-wit.


I shall research again.

Aha, that's why I was confusseled! Though it looks like it could do with a thrashing.... While I really dislike scooters it does look like it could be taken over my back fence to the riverbank where there are dirt jumps and loads of gravel!

[Sully60]

While I really dislike scooters it does look like it could be taken over my back fence to the riverbank where there are dirt jumps and loads of gravel!

Count me in for some of that action!
Though I'll have to go last because I'll break it and everyone else will miss out on a turn.
It's not easy being a big boy.

[Str8 Jacket]

Count me in for some of that action!
Though I'll have to go last because I'll break it and everyone else will miss out on a turn.
It's not easy being a big boy.

hehe, we could make a day of it.... There is a lil pit bike sitting in my lounge that'd be perfect as well!

[Sully60]

hehe, we could make a day of it.... There is a lil pit bike sitting in my lounge that'd be perfect as well!

Ahem, I'd lose one of those things.






Just sitting on it

[Insanity_rules]

If you're a n00b to motorcycling; welcome. If you own a brand spanking red-with-silver-flames GPX250R (never forget the "R"), then well done. Lovely motorcycle.

If you've ridden your new bike to work for the first time and parked in the Jim2 Memorial Bike Park, then may I compliment you on your superb taste.

However next time, don't angle park or I'll be forced to do the old spin the bike on the sidestand trick. That will probably worry you if you see me doing it, but provided I don't throw it on its side, there should be no harm done.

What grinds my gears. Issue 1a

There's a Futong Scooter in the the Jim2 Memorial Park that is going to get removed in the next couple of days if you don't sort it. There's no need to abandon a perfectly adequate mode of urban transport because it has a flat tyre. The air went to the top of that tyre on the 21/12/2007. It's 2008. Come and pick your shit up.

Just out of curiousity here, where is the Jim2 memorial bike park?