How to kill a motorcyclist
1. Get a job as a plumber.
2. Buy a Mitsubishi L300 van. Paint the name and contact details of your business on the side. Something like "Quality Plumbing & Drainage" would probably suffice.
3. Buy a cellphone. Ensure you talk on it all the time while driving.
4. Wait to turn across Aotea Quay, as if planning to turn into the Ferry Terminal or the Hutt motorway on ramp.
5. Appear to carefully study the approach of a Kawasaki ZZR250.
6. When the ZZR250 is within 15m, turn across in front of it.
I believe that I am now dead. To be anything else defies all of the known laws of physics. To be anything other than dead would have required me and the Mighty ZZR to have passed through the L300 at a sub-atomic level.
If I were alive, a charred headless corpse of a plumber would be sitting in the smouldering remains of an L300 van at the northern end of Aotea Quay. If anybody has recently passed this way, could they please confirm.
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
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Originally Posted by Hitcher
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